A Plethora of Deities: Book 11
by
Jonathan Edward Feinstein
Copyright © 2015 by Jonathan E. Feinstein
All Rights Reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher. For information regarding permission, write to Megafilk Press, Jonathan E. Feinstein, 923 Drift Road, Westport, MA 02790
Cover art: “Rainbows couds sky” (sic) by Jon Sullivan 2015, courtesy of www.public-domain-image.com.
It’s a good thing I like this series and love the broad cast of characters that have developed within it, because while most of these are fairly short as novels go – some barely qualify as novels, in fact – I work harder and do more research for this series than anything else I write. Not only that, but it is cumulative. Each story adds new characters who go on to appear in later stories. Then to make matters worse, I’ve added in my own personal touches.
The A Plethora of Deities series is based on the notion that all religions are valid. I make a few exceptions in the matter of cults, but even there my idea is that each is valid in proportion to the strength of belief and number of a religions followers. So cults will have reflections on what I call the Divine Plain, but some only last a brief amount of time, others are as nebulous as related theologies might be and others, being close to the beliefs of other religions might get absorbed since the deities and other supernatural beings have their own minds as to what they are and want to be. Consequently, rather than having several versions of the same or nearly identical deity, they have chosen to merge.
Then, I also decided that while the gods of the ancient world are an interesting enough bunch, it seemed unreasonable that even they might not have changed over the centuries since they had active believers, especially since they evolved enough when they did. Once they no longer had believers to shape their personalities, it was only naturally to assume they might develop as well on their own… so I let them do just that. Problem is, I have had to keep track of the changes and stay consistent. It’s a lot of work for a bit of light fantasy.
But, as I said, I like this series. If I didn’t I would have wrapped it up years ago. Each story has centered on one or more of the growing cast and it is fun to change the narrative point of view from one story to the next and in some cases from chapter to chapter, although it is also a challenge to keep the style consistent and to make the change of viewpoint an organic thing. I really hate stories that just suddenly change point of view without at least a nod toward the transition. Simply shifting scenes suddenly almost always bothers me.
With that in minds I came up with this story in which I originally planned for Iris, the Greek messenger goddess and herald of Hera to be the central character, but as you will soon find out, someone else play a role just as central, or maybe more so to the entire story.
Jonathan E. Feinstein
Westport, MA
June 4, 2016
“A leave of absence?” Juno asked curiously. She had been sitting on the porch of her temple-home, enjoying a cup of coffee as the sun rose. She wore a light silk blouse which she had decided to not bother tucking into her jeans. Olympus was a far more relaxed and comfortable place in the modern era. The furniture Juno used now had been manufactured on the mortal world and purchased at a store in Athens. She adored the cushions. They were ever so much more comfortable than anything she had sat on for the preceding millennia. And coffee! How had the ancient world ever gotten by without it? What might have the philosophers come up with had they a good cup of Joe to start their day with? Probably something a lot more meaningful than Zeno’s paradoxes, she was certain. Then again, perhaps they simply would have talked faster.
“Yes, my queen,” Iris replied simply. The messenger goddess was wearing a diaphanous chiton of the ancient style. It was something she only wore while on duty, a uniform of sorts. She attempted to hold herself in a confident pose, but her golden wings fluttered nervously and she kept changing which hand held her caduceus. Whichever hand did not hold the wand would occasionally brush a stray lock of her light brown hair back behind her right ear from which it would soon escape.
Juno noticed her messenger’s unease and wondered, “Why? You see far more of the world than I do these days.”
“Actually, I rarely leave the Divine Plain,” Iris pointed out. “Think about it. When was the last time you had me send a message to any mortal?”
“It has been a while,” Juno admitted. “Oh, sit down and have some coffee. You’re making me nearly as nervous as you are, the way you’re hovering there.”
“Hovering?” Iris asked, looking first at her wings and then her feet.
“I did not mean that literally,” Juno admonished her. “Sit and we shall talk.” Iris sat down beside Juno and accepted a cup of coffee. She drank it without cream or sugar, but noted that Juno had added a dash of cinnamon to the brew. “All right,” the divine queen said at last, “What do you have in mind?”
“Your demands on me have not been heavy in a very long time,” Iris replied. “In the last few cycles, many of our pantheon have established second homes on the Mortal World. Hephaestos is in Oregon, Demeter in Massachusetts, Dionysus in New York and Venus in Vermont.”
“Vesta still lives in Rome,” Juno pointed out.
“Yes, she has a nice apartment in the Campo de Fiori,” Iris nodded. “I was at a party there a few years ago. Come to think about it; that was the last time I was in Rome. In any case, I believe it is time to see if there is a place for me out there.”
“Well, you are correct,” Juno admitted, “Olympus is just a sleepy backwater these days. So where are you going to look? New York? London? Paris? San Francisco, perhaps? Tokyo?”
“I haven’t decided,” Iris shrugged. “However, I am associated with new endeavors. It seems appropriate that I should just jump in and go with my strengths.”
“Why don’t you try New Orleans?” Juno suggested.
“New Orleans?” Iris asked. “Why?”
“I was there for Mardi Gras last winter, in my Hera aspect,” Juno told her. “It was a lot of fun.”
“You know, I think you may be one of the few deities who actually alternates between two such closely related aspects,” Iris observed. “Most of us just pick one and let the rest merge.”
“It’s like wearing a new outfit,” Juno admitted.
“So?” Iris asked at last. “Do I have your permission to go?”
“Of course,” Juno told her. “I envy you this opportunity.”
“There’s nothing keeping you on Olympus, you know,” Iris pointed out.
“True,” Juno agreed, “but this is home, and home for you too, you remember.”
“The mortals say home is the place they have to take you in when you have to go there,” Iris mused. “By that criterion, I suppose this is home, but there is no reason one cannot have more than one home.”
“Well, stay in touch,” Juno told her. “Maybe next time we share coffee it will be at your place. Hmm?”
“Who knows?” Iris smiled. “Anything might happen out there.”
“And you are anxious to see what it is, right?” Juno observed. “Take care of yourself.”
“Thank you, my queen,” Iris nodded. She got to her feet and put her caduceus down on the table. She reached for the flask of Styx water on her belt, but Juno stopped her.
“Keep the water with you, dear,” she advised. “The staff marks you as my messenger, but the water of the Styx is yours to use as you see fit.”
“It has been a while since I used it against perjurers,” Iris pointed out.
“That is not the only use for the water of that river,” Juno reminded her.
Iris nodded again and reattached the flask to her belt. “Until we meet again,” she told Juno just before reaching up toward the sky. As she did so, a brilliant rainbow formed and extended to the porch floor in front of her. Iris stepped on to the rainbow as though it were a solid construct and the wind, until now just a light breeze, suddenly gusted with force, carrying Iris and the rainbow up and out of sight in an instant.
A demoness walked lightly on the topmost branches of the great ash tree, Yggdrasil, with her long, curly, black hair blowing behind her in the wind between her huge, black bat-like wings. She paused to nod her head respectfully toward a pair of birds. One was the giant eagle, Sam and the other, a hawk named Vethrfolnir who perched on Sam’s head. They were both guardians of the World Tree but neither saw any harm in this demoness from the Hell of an entirely different part of the Divine Plain. Together, they nodded back at her. In response, the demoness winked one vivid violet eye at them and smiled warmly before moving a few paces on.
Even here, at the top of the Tree, the branches were wide and strong and did not bow under the weight of a mere demoness as she found her favorite place to sit and look out at the universe around her. “Are you in there, Rona?” she asked out loud.
“Where would I go, Jael?” Rona asked. A slight smile appeared on Jael’s face that the demoness knew was not her own. Rona was a human soul with whom Jael had been bound for over two decades. They had experienced some rocky times at the start of their relationship but over time much that was good in Rona had rubbed off on Jael and some parts of Jael’s personality had become Rona’s. In all, Jael felt she had gotten the better part of the bargain.
“You do not normally join me up here,” Jael pointed out. “It is the one place I still feel alone sometimes.”
“This is your special place,” Rona pointed out, “and I know you need to be by yourself sometimes, so I withdraw as far from your consciousness as I can to give you some privacy.”
“I had wondered,” Jael commented. “I wasn’t sure if you just could not come here or if you were afraid of heights.”
“Neither,” Rona laughed, “just a courtesy to the woman who allows me to share her life.”
“Well, join me now, will you?” Jael invited. “I didn’t come up with for solace or to contemplate my place in the world. You know, come to think about it, everyone leaves me alone when I come here.”
“The guardians of the World Tree respect you,” Rona pointed out. “They appreciate all you have done for them since this cycle began, so it is a small thing to give you your space when you need it.” She fell silent, but a few minutes later added, “Even Ratatosk leaves you alone up here.”
“Oh, now you’ve done it,” Jael chuckled. “You’ve spoken the Devil’s name.”
“Do you honestly think Lucifer would appreciate you equating Him with that squirrel?” Rona asked.
“He would laugh His butt off at the comparison,” Jael countered.
“So what did you want to talk about, dear?” Rona asked.
“What makes you think I had something in mind?” Jael countered.
“If you didn’t come all the way up here to be by yourself,” Rona pointed out, “ you must have had another reason for needing the privacy.”
“You know me all too well,” Jael nodded. “I’ve been contemplating the future and since we share our existence, I thought we should make some decisions together. We have one more school year in Killington and then Evrona graduates.”
“I know. She’s thinking of working toward a Master of Fine Arts degree,” Rona mentioned.
“Oh yes, and I think she should,” Jael nodded, “but she cannot get a master degree of any sort at Sherburne College and there’s no reason for her to stay in Vermont. She can go anywhere and with her grades she’s going to have her choice of the best schools.”
“Where has she applied?” Rona asked.
“You know she’s kept that to herself,” Jael pointed out.
“And you practically gave Amy the third degree last night in Hattamesett just to make sure Evy had been applying. Yes, I was there too. I wouldn’t worry about Evy, though. I think she’s just trying to show you that you’ve done your job well and taught her to stand up for herself.”
“She’s come a long way since we found that bundle of tears on the Plain of Dis,” Jael smiled, “but I’m not really worried about her. Our Sparrow is ready to fly and I couldn’t be prouder of her, but once she flies, is there any need for us to stay in Killington?”
“It has proven to be a fairly good base of operations,” Rona pointed out. “Better than Cleveland in many ways, except that I doubt we could ever get Marcus to leave Case Western Reserve.”
“He’s going to have to sooner or later,” Jael argued. “He’s forty-five years old but hasn’t aged a day since he was twenty-one. Right now his colleagues find that remarkable, but in a decade it will be impossible. He already has to use various tricks to make himself older, but there’s only so much he can do along those lines.”
“There’s magic,” Rona suggested, “and he could take to walking with a limp, but I cannot see him doing that. The real problem is at the conventions. He’s made a good name for himself and he is fairly well known. He’s going to need to find a new career and he won’t like that at all.”
“He’ll have to find a way to go off the grid,” Jael agreed, “and that’s going to mean no more archaeology.”
“But he loves archaeology,” Rona protested.
“Well, there is an alternative,” Jael considered. “Both Dee and Athena have been offering him a position. If he comes to either Killington or Brandon, he can teach for a decade or so using a new name. After that he could show up at the AIA conventions again and while some of the old timers might notice he looks a lot like that guy who used to show up every year he would obviously be too young to be him. It might help if he changes his hair color too.”
“He really won’t like that,” Rona laughed, “It’s hard enough to get him to the barber shop on a regular basis. Can you imagine if he has to go blond and constantly has to keep touching up his roots?”
“Good point,” Jael laughed with her. “Well, perhaps a bit of magic is in order there. I’ll ask Ina, she must know a whole bunch of cosmetic spells. Likely, she invented them.”
“Oh good! You’re up here,” a squeaky voice spoke from behind them. It was the sort of voice one normally only heard applied to cartoon chipmunks.
“You see?” Jael told Rona. “I told you saying his name would summon him.”
“I only said it once,” Rona replied contritely as they turned to face a squirrel roughly the size of a full grown German Shepherd.
“You know Ratty never feels he has to wait for a formal invitation,” Jael shot back.
“Where’s your sidekick?” Ratatosk asked. “I usually get along well with her, even if she is one of the Furies.”
“Evy’s already in Vermont,” Jael informed him. “We’re on our way there too. We just decided to take a slight detour.”
“By way of the whole Universe?” Ratatosk asked. “Well, that’s your business, I suppose. Would you mind taking another slight detour?”
“By way of Taumatawhakatangihangakoauotamateturipukakapikimaungahoro-Nukupokaiwhenua kitanatahu, perhaps?” Jael asked archly.
“Maybe,” Ratatosk replied in his usual manner, but was unable to maintain the pose. He did a comic double-take and asked “Where?”
“It’s in New Zealand,” Jael explained. “It is currently recognized as the world’s longest place name. Look it up.”
“How are you able to pronounce it?” Ratatosk marveled.
“One syllable at a time, just like any other word,” Jael laughed. “It’s easier if you don’t actually try to read it.”
“Just as well,” Ratatosk shrugged. “In any case I did not actually notice where that branch leads. It might have been Taumatawhahootchie after all.” He caught Jael about to repeat the exceedingly long name to correct him and stopped her. “No. Don’t. We only have one eternity left to us. We’ll run out of time if you have to say that name too many times.”
“Yeah, okay. So what crisis do we have scheduled today?” she asked.
“If it were scheduled, it wouldn’t be a crisis,” Rona pointed out, “would it?”
“For all we know this walking flea trap has been saving this one for us,” Jael shot back.
In an unusual act of self-restraint, Ratatosk failed to rise to the bait and instead explained, “There’s a foreign deity in the Tree.”
“Not exactly news, Ratty,” Jael laughed. “Yggdrasil’s been the superhighway of the Divine Plain since the current cycle began. It sees more traffic than I-95 and the M5 together.”
“Not hardly,” Ratatosk shook his head, unable to hold back a chuckle, “but we haven’t exactly been Lonelyville. I’ll give you that. In any case the Tree would like you to handle this one.”
“Um,” Jael paused to think that through, “You mean rather than you or one of the other guardians?” Ratatosk nodded. “Why?”
“Hey, chica,” he responded in his more usual cocky manner, “I don’t go arguing with the Tree.”
“No, just the whole world,” Jael pointed out and she finally got to her feet, “which is pretty much the same thing. Oh, all right! I’ll go and see who’s digging a hole in the bark for you.” She stretched out her arms a bit and her neatly manicured fingernails grew out into long, sharp claws, her long pointed tail grew out from under her denim skirt and the cute little horns that sprang from her temples grew an extra inch longer and became far sharper.
“Whoa!” Ratatosk stopped her, “No need to break out the entire armory, girl. I don’t think we’re expecting violence. It just that her divine presence is twisting things around in her immediate vicinity. That happens with foreigners on the Tree. Most are just passing through so it’s no big thing, but she’s been around a few days now and the effects are cumulative.”
“No one has ever protested my presence here,” Jael commented, “and I have spent a lot of time among the branches of the Tree.”
“You are a special case,” Ratatosk explained. “not only that, but you have a way of fitting in. You accept the Tree as He is and do nothing to accommodate your surroundings to yourself, at least not while you are here.”
“I would be a rude and uncouth guest to come and disdain the ways of my host,” Jael replied.
“This one is doing everything her way and that’s all wrong at least for this aspect of the Tree,” Ratatosk told her.
“What is she doing?” Jael asked, “or should I be asking how?”
“Go see for yourself.”
“Someone asking a favor ought to be a little more forthcoming,” Jael grumbled.
“I’m not the one asking a favor,” Ratatosk shot back. “The Tree is.”
Jael sighed and shook her head in exasperation, but she followed the squirrel back down the trunk of the World Tree.
Before confronting the strange goddess directly, Jael chose to observe her from a nearby branch. So far as the demoness could tell the other woman was not doing much of anything besides wandering back and forth on one of the great branches. “She doesn’t look dangerous,” Rona whispered from inside Jael’s head.
“No, she just looks very confused,” Jael agreed, “and lost. Judging by her clothing, I would guess she is from somewhere in Polynesia.”
“Hawaii, perhaps?” Rona suggested.
“Maybe,” Jael shrugged. “I’ve only dealt directly with a few of the deities of the Pacific Basin and most of them were men, like Maui.”
“Well, there was Pele,” Rona reminded her, “but this one doesn’t look anything like Pele. She didn’t wear such a colorful dress. It looks like it was spun directly from a rainbow.”
“Maybe it was,” Jael agreed, “that sort of thing is possible on the Divine Plain. If we had department stores, we could probably buy rainbows in the yard goods department. I’d kill for her hair, though.”
“Your hair is the same color,” Rona pointed out, “jet black.”
“But look how long hers is,” Jael told her. “Mine dies of terminal split ends about the time it reaches my waist, hers is down to the backs of her knees.”
“Must be a major chore to clean and dry,” Rona scoffed, “unless she has some magic that keeps it clean and dry.”
“I could use a spell like that,” Jael chuckled.
“Why?” Rona asked, “You enjoy our showers so much you barely leave me enough hot water to clean up with.”
“That‘s recreational,” Jael replied, “Cleaning and brushing out this mane is work. Well, we’re not going to get anything accomplished from here.” She stretched her wings out and stepped off the branch. It took a few seconds to catch the breeze and then after a few quick flaps she was able to soar directly to the branch where the rainbow-garbed woman was pacing. “Hello there!” Jael called as she landed gracefully, quickly folding back her wings just in case her appearance might be unduly startling to the stranger, “or should I be saying, ‘Aloha?’”
“Oh, I hope you mean that,” the other woman replied. For a moment Jael wondered why that had relieved the stranger so much and then she remembered that ‘Aloha’ in its proper cultural context was not just a greeting, but a blessing and a way of life.”
“My name is Jael,” she introduced herself, then allowed Rona to manifest, “and I am Rona,” she continued in Rona’s voice before changing back to her more familiar appearance. When she did so, however, she used her mortal guise without the wings, horns and tail, although in any guise, her bright violet eyes were always her most noticeable feature.
“Jael the Celestial?” the other woman asked. “I have heard of you.”
“The Celestial?” Jael almost laughed. “Never heard anyone call me that. Just the opposite, in fact.”
“Lord Inari refers to you by that name. He respects you deeply. I am called Anuenue. Where are we?”
“You don’t know?” Jael asked, but then plunged on before Anuenue could reply, “This is Yggdrasil, the Norse and Germanic aspect of the Great World Tree.”
“Ah,” Anuenue nodded, “so we are in the soul of the universe?”
“In a sense,” Jael nodded, “yes. At least that will do for going on with. Now the sixty-four thousand dollar question is how did you get here? Both physically and spiritually we are on the wrong side of the world for you.”
“We are? Oh, I suppose you are right. Doesn’t it ever get dark here?”
“Sure it does,” Jael laughed, “but we’re north of the arctic circle. The land of the Midnight Sun and all that, but even now I think the sun gets below the horizon for a few minutes each day, just not enough to get much darker than early twilight. Don’t worry about it, though. Stay here long enough and the situation reverses. In the winter, we need flashlights to find our way around.”
“Winter?” Anuenue asked and then remembered, “Oh yes, I’ve heard of that. It sounds unpleasant.”
“Oh it has its perks,” Jael replied. “You can go sledding or skiing, ice skating or maybe you’d prefer a snow board. That’s kind of like surfing, but on frozen water.”
“I prefer to travel by rainbow,” Anuenue replied, “but I think that’s how I got here. I normally know exactly where I am and where I am headed, but lately I’ve been experiencing some confusion. Some people have been praying to me with the oddest requests.”
“You do realize you are allowed to say ‘No,’ right?” Jael asked. “Well, I don’t know for certain, but my educated guess is that somehow you tried using Bifrost, the rainbow bridge rather than one of your usual conveyances. Or maybe someone did that to you. There’s at least one joker in every pantheon. The immediate problem, though, we can solve simply by getting you out of here. No offense but you’re upsetting the local ecology – definitely not in the aloha spirit. So what say we go back to my place? I’ll make a pot of tea and see if we can figure this all out.”
“That would be so nice of you!” Anuenue gushed.
“Well, shh!” Jael warned her facetiously. “I have a reputation to uphold.”
“If you hold it up much longer,” Rona butted in, “your arms might fall off.”
Anuenue giggled and asked, “So which way do we go?”
Jael looked around and then pointed outward. “I think that’s the fastest way off the Tree. I’m not sure where it leads, but once we’re off we can walk between the plains. I think that will be best for now.”
It only took fifteen minutes to reach the end of the nearest branchlet and step off into the Mortal World. “Okay,” Jael looked around, “let me just get my bearings. Let’s see; evergreens, mountains, looks like a small to middling-sized town.” Then she spotted a street sign and shuddered. “I know where we are, but we’d better get out of here before a short white dude in a black trench coat lobs a fuse bomb at us.”
“Excuse me?” Anuenue asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Not much, but we missed our target by about two thousand miles,” Jael replied and she phased them into the place that really was no place between the Mortal and Divine Plains.
“But where were we?” the Hawaiian goddess insisted on knowing. “and why were we worried about bombs?”
“That was Jael’s idea of a joke,” Rona informed her.
“We were in Banff, Canada,” Jael explained. “Specifically, we were at the corner of Moose and Squirrel Streets.”
“So?” Anuenue asked.
“No one respects the classics anymore,” Jael remarked sourly. “Something strange is happening, even for travel between the plains.”
“And if you ever saw Jael drive, you’d know how unusual that is,” Rona added. “The sky seems to be full of rainbows, doesn’t it?”
“And they seem to be pushing us around,” Jael added. “It’s like swimming upstream at Niagara Falls. Now I know how a salmon feels. Let’s just hope there are no bears around looking for a snack. Are you doing this?” she asked Anuenue.
“Doing what?” Anuenue asked. “Isn’t this normal?”
“Not for me,” Jael replied. “Normally I can control the imaginary landscape, but every time I do, the rainbows close in and…” she broke off as they were suddenly deposited back in the Mortal World. “Oh, we’re here. That was a lot faster than usual, but we can worry about that later. This is Proctor House, one of two dormitories of Sherburne College. Let’s go inside before one of the locals spots you and thinks we’re hosting a luau.”
“This is the Mortal World?” Anuenue asked.
“Yes,” Jael nodded as she held the door open for her guest, “but in here, there’s no one here but us chickens. The students assigned to Proctor House are all gods, goddesses, angels, demons and various other supernatural creatures.” She looked around and noticed several students in the common room watching the television. Two of the students were obviously supernatural. One was an angel with four large snowy white wings and the other had dark gray, scaly skin. “Hey! You kids know the rules. Stay in guise outside of your rooms. We do have mortal guests frequently enough.”
“Sorry, ma’am,” the scaly one replied. “I’m new to this and still having trouble keeping my disguise up for more than an hour at a time.”
“Well, keep practicing,” Jael advised. “Have you met Tomislaw yet? Senior in room 205? Well, tell him I sent you. He’ll get you sorted out by your first class.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” the student replied. “Are you Doctor Steele? I need your permission to take your second year Philosophy class.”
“You know the intro stuff? Okay,” Jael nodded. “Stop by my suite when you get done with Tommy, and we’ll talk about it. Now you, Ephrael,” she rounded on the angel, “This is your fourth year. You know the rules.”
“I do not care to appear to be other than I am,” Ephrael replied stiffly.
“Then keep it in your room,” Jael snapped. “Angels aren’t supposed to be misanthropic and you’re certainly not supposed to break rules. Astra got with the program quickly enough or are you too stupid to learn?” Ephrael shot her a dirty glare, but shifted into his mortal guise wordlessly and turned back to the television, ignoring Jael’s presence. “Children!” Jael muttered and then waved for Anuenue to follow her into her private suite. “Have a seat while I put the kettle on. Then we can chat.”
“I still don’t know where we are,” Anuenue admitted. Instead of sitting, she walked over to a wide window and looked out over the college campus. Outside, students were tossing a Frisbee back and forth while others sat around talking or playing a game on their smart phones or just walking or jogging.
“Sherburne College,” Jael repeated. “Well, okay, it’s not exactly Harvard or Yale, but I think we have a pretty good baccalaureate program. If you look us up on a map, we’re in Killington, Vermont. That’s in the United States, like Hawaii, but at the other end of the nation and without the palm trees and volcanos.”
“You have some nice mountains, though,” Anuenue observed.
“They’ll do,” Jael smiled. “You should see them in a month or so when all the maples change into their fall colors. Sometimes it looks like the mountains are on fire. Okay, so, tell me, what were you doing when you ended up on Yggdrasil?”
“I was just coming back from Japan,” Anuenue replied. “Lord Inari is organizing an exhibition ball game between his new team and the Green Sox and I’ve been running messages back and forth.”
“I knew something about that,” Jael admitted. “I was there several times this past summer help Inari to encourage the other kami to give baseball a chance. He was usually a she when I visited for some reason.”
“Inari appears male female or gender-nonspecific as he pleases,” Anuenue replied. “But yes, that is how I heard of you.”
“And you travel via rainbow?” Jael asked.
“Yes,” Anuenue nodded. “So you have heard of me too?”
“Not by name, I don’t think,” Jael admitted, “but you are not the only messenger who travels that way and given the odd trip we had here, it made a certain amount of sense. The tea’s ready. How do you take yours?”
“Straight up, of course,” Anuenue replied. “How else to properly appreciate the brew?”
“A girl after my own heart,” Jael nodded. “And that’s good because I just realized I don’t have any milk or cream in the fridge. I offered tea because I just got here and won’t have time to go shopping until later. I do have sugar left over from last semester though.”
“No, thank you,” Anuenue shook her head, “for the same reason. I drink my coffee the same way, unless it’s Irish Coffee, but that’s different.”
“It is, indeed,” Jael nodded, “but what happened?”
“I don’t know,” Anuenue admitted. “The rainbow went crazy and the next thing I knew, I woke up in that tree. I kept trying to leave, but I never thought of just stepping off.”
“Well you need to be careful how you leave Yggdrasil,” Jael told her. “Believe me. There are a lot of places you do not want to end up! I’ve been to more of them than I care to admit.” Just then there was a knock on the door. “Hang on. It’s probably one or more of the students frantic over their class schedules.” She opened the door to discover two fellow faculty members, Mike Fulden from the Classics Department and Ina Loveall. Even the best classicist, however, would not recognize her in what she referred to as her “teacher guise.” While she actually did nothing supernatural to her appearance in this guise, she did pull back her hair and wear a pair of glasses. She also toned down her divine aura – that certain something all divine beings had that mortals did not. It was the source of her many godly attributes, but she could effectively not use it, if she concentrated. It meant that while still a very attractive woman, she did not actually “ooze” sex appeal. Keeping a plain hair style, passing on make-up and wearing the glasses just finished the transformation. Mike, her not-so-mortal husband, actually found her more appealing without the supernatural help, so she rarely manifested her divinity when with him. “I wasn’t expecting to see you two until the faculty party,” Jael told them by way of greeting.
“Do you know what’s going on out there?” Ina asked and she and Mike rushed into Jael’s apartment.
“Sounds quiet enough,” Jael opined. “Why?”
“Sure it’s quiet,” Ina snapped at her. “They’re all out there staring at the rainbow.”
“Huh!” Jael shrugged. “I didn’t even realize it had been raining. Would you like some tea?”
“Tea?” Ina retorted. “Rona, will you talk some sense into your worser half?”
“Ina?” Rona asked. As she did so, she fully manifested, slightly taller than Jael and blond. “What’s the matter?”
“You really don’t know?” Ina asked.
“Ina,” Mike stepped in, “You’ve known these two longer than I have. Do you really think they would have done this on purpose? Jael, what Ina is trying to tell you is that there’s this great rainbow outside and its end is directly on Proctor House. I half expected to find a leprechaun in the dormitory, but was pretty sure I would have heard if one had enrolled this semester.”
“Everyone on campus can see it,” Ina added. “It’s only a matter of time before Dee comes to investigate.”
“Or Isis,” Mike added.
“I’m sorry, “Anuenue apologized. She looked out Jael’s window and saw a brilliant red light shining in. “This is probably my fault. Rainbows frequently attend me when I am in the Mortal World.” She closed her eyes for a moment the light coming into the room turned back to a more normal shade and intensity. “There. It won’t happen again.”
There was another, very insistent knock on the door. Jael started to get up, but it opened up on its own to reveal two women. One quite tall with her blond hair in a tight bun and blazing green eyes and the other somewhat shorter with dark hair and a thin dark face. Neither woman looked happy to be there.
“Too late,” Ina remarked.
“I’m going to need another pot of tea,” Jael sighed.
“So, you were on your way back to Oahu when it happened,” Dean Delores Meter, more commonly referred to as Mother Nature, concluded. “I still don’t understand how you ended up on Yggdrasil.”
“I had never even heard of it,” Anuenue admitted.
“I’ve been thinking about it,” Jael put in. “I suspect Anuenue’s talent with rainbows must have somehow latched on to Bifrost. She actually could have landed anywhere on Earth or even in Asgard, but somehow got deposited on a branch that led to Western Canada.”
“Possibly, dear,” Dee nodded, “but what caused it in the first place? Anuenue, do you have any enemies who might have used this opportunity to attack you?”
“Not in a very long time,” Anuenue shook her head. “In my youth I was often called Kahalapuna and I made the mistake of enticing two chiefs to fall in love with me. That was rather messy with one of them actually killing me several times.”
Ina lowered her voice to simulate a man’s and rumbled, “If I can’t have you, no one can!”
“Yes, something like that,” Anuenue nodded. “My other lover eventually saved me. It is a very long story, however, and well in the past. In the cycles since those ancient days I have served as a messenger to the gods of Hawaii, mostly in communications with our counterparts in Tahiti and other parts of Polynesia. I am like what Westerners sometimes call a herald or an ambassador and am usually neutral in the struggles between the divine spirits. No one has attacked me in many cycles now.”
“Well, whoever it was may not have been attacking you so much as trying to interfere with your mission,” Isis considered.
“Who would want to interfere with a baseball team?” Ina asked.
“Another baseball team,” Jael shrugged, “but not in the matter of an exhibition game, especially one in the off-season. Besides, as contentious as the members of the Celestial League can be, so far, at least, none have stooped to that sort of cheating. Now if we were talking about in-game tactics... but let’s not get into that. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to tell water gods they’ll get thrown out if they keep trying their spitballs.”
“Enki doesn’t…” Dee began.
“Surprisingly, no,” Jael shook her head. “Enki never cheats. Oh, I know his reputation of old, but in the modern world he’s having too much fun playing by the rules. He does come pretty close to the line at times, but so far as I can tell, he never actually crosses it. But we’re on a tangent. The point is the Rainbow Maiden here was just doing her job when she somehow found herself on one of the branches of the World Tree. The trouble she caused there was simply because she was trying to get off the Tree in her normal mode of travel, via rainbow. The problem is, there’s already a rainbow associated with Yggdrasil and it wasn’t cooperating, being firmly rooted in Midgard and Heimdall’s root cellar. I think the best we can do for now is find a way to get her back to Oahu. Normally I’d do it, but I just got here today and even though the semester just started, I’m going to be playing catch-up for a week.”
“I can do it,” Ina volunteered, “but I’ll need someone to cover for me in my classes, maybe for the rest of the week.”
“You can get to Hawaii and back several times a day,” Jael pointed out. “What have you got in mind?”
“I thought it might be a good idea to look into the nature of these rainbows,” Ina admitted. “The one that you girls were playing pot-of-gold to, just seemed wrong to me, and it was not just the location and the way we really could get to the end of the bow.”
“The rainbows do act as though they are worried about something,” Anuenue added.
“Global warming?” Jael suggested.
“No,” Dee shook her head. “Not everything can be blamed on climate change.”
“Well, I’m not planning to drive a rainbow,” Ina told them. “We do have other ways. Now I have an Eight AM class and can leave right after that if Jael covers the rest of the schedule for me.”
“Eight in the morning?” Jael groaned. “I knew my luck was just too good when most of my classes were scheduled later in the day.”
“It’s only for a week,” Ina pointed out.
“You two do have scheduling conflicts, besides that one,” Isis noted. “Jael, come to my office in the morning, please. I think I can help out where you have your own classes to teach.”
“And I only teach one class this semester,” Dee added. “I can help fill in, even for the early classes. I don’t generally sleep much anyway. Come to think about it, neither do you, Jael.”
“Okay, you got me,” Jael admitted. “I guess I just like being able to watch the sun rise without having to go over my notes at the same time. Besides, I’m the resident faculty for Proctor House. Strange problems come up at all hours.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Dee told her. “We always cover for each other. All right, Ina, we shall leave this up to you. Please let me know what you find out.”
“Probably nothing,” Ina shrugged, “but if I’ve learned nothing else this cycle, it’s that problems don’t go away on their own. Oh no! I’m sounding like a teacher.”
“You are a teacher, dear,” Mike told her.
“So I am,” she admitted.
“You have also grown a lot in just a few years,” Isis remarked. “Honestly, I doubt I would have recognized you from the old days had I not known who you were, and that, my dear, is a very good thing!”
“Well, I think Anuenue should come home with Mike and me,” Ina decided. “First of all, we have a guest room. Jael, you don’t even have a sleeper sofa in here for guests.”
“I do envy you the living space,” Jael laughed, “but it takes me a lot less time to do the spring cleaning.
“Well, let’s finish our tea and we can all get back to whatever we ought to be doing,” Dee suggested. “Jael, I notice you didn’t even have any biscuits to serve with the tea. You haven’t been shopping yet, have you?”
“Sorry,” the demoness apologized, flushing in embarrassment. “I literally just got here before you did.”
“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot,” Dee explained, “I just thought that perhaps you might like to have dinner with me tonight.”
“Beats the heck out of the cafeteria,” Jael laughed. “Thanks.”
*****
Anuenue woke to the smells of fresh coffee and frying bacon. She lay back on her bed and smiled contentedly for just a moment until she realized she was a guest in this strange home. Ina and Mike shared a small faculty cottage on the grounds of Sherburne College. It had a kitchen smaller than most closets and a living room/dining room area that opened just off the front door, a small room meant as an office, but which Mike used as a library, a bathroom and a single bedroom on the first floor.
However, it also boasted a small loft into which Mike and Ina had managed to fit a twin-sized bed and a few other bits of furniture. They had served well when company came to visit. Most of that company were actually Mike’s friends from the various schools he had attended or taught at, so with the exception of one rather hectic weekend when Ina’s son, Cupid, had chosen to stop in, Anuenue was their first divine visitor in Killington.
“Huh!” Anuenue surprised herself mildly. “I am actually hungry.” She slipped her rainbow dress on and walked downstairs to find Mike busy in the kitchen.
“Good morning,” he greeted her cheerfully. “You’re lucky it was Ina who had the early class today. Don’t repeat this to her, but when it comes to the kitchen, she’s lucky if she doesn’t burn water, but I know she would have wanted you to have a good meal before you both left.”
“So instead you are burning pig flesh for me?” Anuenue asked lightly.
“Uh,” Mike fumbled verbally. “You don’t keep kosher, do you? I know Ashera does, but she was the goddess of the early Israelites, so that sort of follows.”
“No,” Anuenue smiled. “I do not keep kosher. My people eat this sort of thing all the time, and I thank you for this morning meal. What are we having?”
“Nothing really special,” Mike replied. “just some cheese and bacon omelets with toast and in your honor, we have coffee from Kona.”
“Thank you,” Anuenue replied with a warm smile. “You combine aspects of your home with mine. That is a wonderful gift! But don’t you have classes to teach this morning too?”
“My first class is at Nine this morning,” Mike replied. He checked his watch. “I still have nearly half an hour and the classroom is only a couple of minutes away. Just the other side of those trees,” he pointed out a window. “Ina should be back about the same time I have to leave, so I’ll make breakfast for her as well.”
“She’s a very lucky woman,” Anuenue observed. “I hope she appreciates you.”
“No, I’m the lucky one,” Mike told her as he broke several eggs into a bowl and started to whisk them up.. “Hmm, I think I’m forgetting something. Garlic? Maybe.” He reached for a jar and sprinkled in some dried granulated garlic and then realized what he really wanted, “Ah ha! Just a touch of cayenne should do it. There we go. Okay, I think that pan is hot enough. Let’s get cooking.”
A short time later he expertly slid a large omelet out of the pan and on to a serving plate, cut it into three pieces – one considerably smaller than the other two and served one of the large ones to Anuenue with two slices of toast, one rye and the other multi-grain. Then he helped himself to the smaller piece of omelet and one slice of toast and put two more slices of bread into the toaster, but did not start the toast cycle. He had just enough time to eat his breakfast and pour his coffee into a travel mug. The he told Anuenue, “Good luck and safe journey!” started the toast and rushed out the door. Ina arrived two minutes later just as the toast popped up, a perfect golden brown.
“Oh, isn’t he a dear?” Ina remarked as she pulled the toast out and placed it on his plate. “Whatever did I do without him? No, don’t answer that.” She slathered some butter on the toast and then joined Anuenue at the table and noticed the Hawaiian goddess was looking at her curiously. “You don’t know who I am, do you?”
“I’m sorry,” Anuenue apologized.
“Don’t be,” Ina laughed. “I’m nothing like I was in the ancient world and back then your pantheon and mine had no contact whatsoever. I’ve been around a long time and have successfully gone from one pantheon to the next as appropriate to the times. In Mesopotamia I was Inanna and Ishtar. Then in Canaan I was Astarte, although part of me was Anat. That part of me went on to be identified with Artemis and later Diana, but I became Aphrodite and then Venus, the goddess of Love, though I had my mean and petty side. When you get right down to it, the Mycenaean Greeks went to war with Troy because I promised one man he could have another’s wife, something that was really not mine to give. And when not seeing how many men I could have fighting over me, I… well, let’s just say the modern term, bimbo, fit me perfectly.”
“Now I’ve heard of you,” Anuenue admitted.
“Thanks,” Ina replied sarcastically. “Well, I’ve grown up since then. I had a heart-to-heart chat with Mother Nature then I went and had another heart-to-heart with some latter day pagans and tried to explain I wasn’t that kind of goddess anymore.” She laughed at herself. “That took a little longer, however I eventually got my message through and I’ve been a much better person since then.”
“I think we all do things that, afterward, we regret,” Anuenue replied. “As gods we stand as models for the mortals of the world. We represent both the good and the bad in people.”
“Yes,” Ina agreed, “I’ve explained that to my students often enough. I teach in the Religion Department here.”
“Isn’t that cheating?” Anuenue asked.
“Only if I was proselytizing on my own behalf,” Ina replied. “For some reason, most of the religions I was worshipped in are either covered in History, Archaeology and Art. I seriously considered posing for Botticelli and I probably should have. The model he used… well, ‘no resemblance’ is a polite phrase. Anyway, I’m one of the few deities who has manage to keep at least a few worshippers throughout the ages, but I’ll tell you, it takes a strong will to keep the mortals from warping you into what they want you to be.”
“I have noticed,” Anuenue admitted. “I told Jael that I have been feeling confused lately. I get the strangest prayers directed at me sometimes and not always from worshippers in Hawaii.”
“Neopagans,” Ina explained. “Some are quite serious in their belief, don’t get me wrong here, and they do their best to take us as we are or were. A lot of them have chosen to worship various Celtic deities, but so many just pick and choose what they want as though walking up and down the aisles of a divine Walmart. I seem to be their favorite one to call on for orgies, whether it’s as Venus or as one of my analogues from more obscure religions. The thing is, taken out of context like that, Venus is just an indiscriminant slut. It’s no wonder I had stopped liking myself. Well, this cycle it’s different and so am I. We have a new World Tree and I am a goddess in the new universe. I get to redefine myself the way I want to be. You can too, and you don’t need a new universe to do it in, you just have to stick to your guns and fail to respond to the wrong prayers. I know it can be difficult to resist these days, but there’s not need to feel forced to do things you feel are inappropriate.”
“Inappropriate?” Anuenue asked.
“Sure,” Ina nodded, “Like manipulating the stock market. I mean that’s both illegal and totally out of character to either of us. So just say, ‘No,’ to that sort of request.”
“How do you manipulate the stock market?” Anuenue asked curiously.
“We’re goddesses,” Ina reminded her. “Much of what we do is to inspire mortals. We can control the roll of a dice if we want to for that matter. Direct a few buyers in the right direction and the rest will stampede right behind them. But just because we can, it does not mean we should.”
“That’s not the sort of thing I’ve been asked to do,” Anuenue pointed out.
“I would have been surprised if it was,” Ina admitted. “Even the most clueless mortal wouldn’t go that far from your natural divine attributes. Well, these eggs were delicious. Did you have enough?”
“I am quite satisfied, thank you,” Anuenue replied,
“Well, just let me rinse the plates and we’ll be off.”
Ina was not one to walk between the plains when she could ride and her car of choice was an Italian Racing Red Jaguar F convertible. “It’s a bit flashy for a college professor to be driving,” she admitted as she and Anuenue got into the seats, “but when anyone comments along those lines, I tell them I had a rich uncle, which is just as well because the maintenance on these wheels would break Donald Trump. Fortunately, my ex is a mechanic and he’s been nice enough to check this out twice a year. There’s one I did not appreciate when we were together. He’s not much to look at, I’ll admit, but looks aren’t everything. We get along much better now that we’re not a couple. Well, enough of me. She shifted the transmission into drive and they were off.
There was really no reason for Ina to drive fast. Any movement was sufficient to move between the Mortal and Divine plains. So long as she moved at all she could progress anywhere she desired since movement in this case was as much a state of mind as a physical act, but Ina loved to feel the wind in her hair and her Jag matched her personality.
The raced through the illusory landscape, but before they had been in motion for a few seconds the sky became filled with rainbows which seemed to rush toward the car and wrap it in their multicolored light. “The rainbows are excited,” Anuenue remarked.
“Welcome to the club,” Ina shot back, “It might be nice to see where we were going. So do they say why they’re excited or is this just some sort of quantum state I have not previously been aware of?”
“Rainbows don’t talk,” Anuenue laughed. “They more closely resemble animals. They have emotions but are not intelligent enough to speak.”
“So,” Ina concluded, “they are like yappy little puppies?”
“These are.”
Ina conjectured, “Maybe little Timmy’s fallen into the well again. Hmm, I’m sounding like Jael. I always knew that girl was contagious. Do they want us to follow them, do you think?”
“It’s more like they are just happy to see me,” Anuenue replied. “Very happy, but I think something must be wrong.”
“What was your first clue?” Ina asked.
“Well, they have never interfered with me when travelling before,” Anuenue answered not recognizing Ina’s sarcasm.
“Uh huh!” Ina responded. “Maybe we need a second opinion. I know another messenger who travels via rainbow. Let’s go talk to her.”
“Good idea,” Anuenue agreed, “and I think I might enjoy meeting a colleague like that. One thing, though.”
“What’s that?” Ina asked.
“Who is little Timmy?”
It took three hours and a special cooperation between Ina and Anuenue to reach Mount Olympus. Ina knew the way, but Anuenue had to concentrate as hard as she could to get the encircling rainbows to back off enough for Ina to see where she was headed. Even so, they made a lot of wrong turns and kept finding themselves in the wrong places, mostly in the Mortal world, but twice they were only able to escape the rainbows attention by fleeing to a divine aspect of the Sahara Desert.
“I am a little surprised this place is still here,” Ina told Anuenue. “All the deities who originated here have since moved on to other pantheons. Mind you this place was not a desert at the time. It’s very old, though, and the Divine plain frequently mirrors events in the Mortal World.”
“I do not think this place is entirely empty,” Anuenue replied. “I think I sense something out there, although it is very weak and far away. Should we investigate?”
Ina slowed the car to a halt and closed her eyes. She sat motionlessly for a few minutes as she attempted to commune with whomever was around. Finally she opened her eyes and replied, “No need. There really is no one else here. What you’re feeling are echoes from the creation of the world in this aspect. I said this was very ancient and most of the gods from this hemisphere may have originated here. It’s possible we all originated here or from wherever the gods of this place came from before they came here. It’s rather complex and sometimes self-contradictory, but as my grandfather, Enki, frequently reminds me, there are no paradoxes on the Divine plain. We can all be born multiple times in multiple places. We can create the world many times in many ways and it all happened. We should probably bring Jael’s and Rona’s husband, Marcus here to do some archaeology. I suspect we would learn worlds of information about ourselves. For now, however, we should move on, do you think you can get the rainbows to assist us?”
“If I knew exactly where we are headed, I could,” Anuenue replied. “I think so, anyway.”
“Well, try thinking good thoughts about me and how you would like the rainbows to help me,” Ina suggested. “It’s worth a shot, at least.”
Anuenue nodded and this time the rainbows seemed to pick up the car and a moment later they found themselves on a wide cobblestone-pave lane surrounded on both sides with structures that looked like ancient Grecian temples, save that they were all in good repair and their friezes were colorfully painted in brighter than life colors. “That was easier than I expected,” Ina smiled with relief.
“Aphrodite!” a deep male voice hailed her. “Or should that be Inanna these days?” Ina turned to see Ares, sometimes called Mars, sitting on the steps of one of the temples with a large mug of something liquid. She turned off her car and got out to return the greeting.
“Only on the baseball diamond,” Ina replied. “My friends call me Ina now. I’ve changed.”
“I can see that,” Ares confirmed, “I had heard, but you hear a lot of things. This looks good on you, though.”
“Glad you approve,” Ina smiled. “Just for the record, I don’t care to meet Apollo. Is he here?”
“Hah!” Ares laughed. “He lit out right after the season. He’s still sulking about that spanking you and your friends gave him a couple of years ago. He spends most of the year in his shack at Delphi.”
“I’ve seen his place,” Ina remarked. “That’s quite some shack. You don’t find many with carved marble columns.”
Areas looked around at the temple-palaces of Olympus. “Seems about average for this neighborhood.”
“I’m actually quite happy in the faculty cottage I share with Mike,” Ina pointed out.
“I have a nice place in a gated community in Florida,” Ares admitted, “but I don’t usually check in there until December. Feel free to come and visit.”
“Thanks,” Ina nodded. “Maybe we will, though not during spring break. Mike says he’s allergic to what goes on there.”
“I avoid that madhouse too,” Ares admitted. “When I was young, a thousand or so, it might have appealed to me, but now? Not a chance. Zeus, on the other hand, never misses it.”
“Some of us will never grow up,” Ina admitted. “Where are my manners? Ares, this is Anuenue from Hawaii. She’s a messenger, similar to Iris and Hermes. Anuenue, Ares is this pantheon’s god of war.”
“A pleasure,” Ares told Anuenue, bending to kiss her hand. She smiled and produced a lei from out of thin air and draped it on Ares, kissing him on the cheek.
“Careful, Ares,” Ina warned him. “For all you know that could be a traditional Hawaiian declaration of war.”
“If so, it’s a mode of battle I’d truly like to study,” Ares laughed. “So what brings you two here?”
“We’re looking for Iris, actually,” Ina replied. “The rainbows have gone crazy.”
“The rainbows?” Ares asked. He sounded slightly patronizing in the way that one might if they thought the person they were talking to was crazy, but also did not want to give offense. Ina saw right through it, though.
“You’re welcome to join us on this quest if you like,” she told him. “It might involve fighting.”
“With rainbows?” Ares asked. “I prefer an opponent with some substance. My sword will go right through a beam of light, but what good does it do?”
“And it might reflect off the blade into your eyes,” Ina noted, “but what I had in mind was whoever might be behind the crazy rainbows You know, now that I actually say that out loud, it doesn’t sound so sensible, does it?”
“Actually it sounded far more sensible to me,” Ares admitted. “If someone is tampering with natural forces, your crazy rainbows might just be a symptom. Unfortunately, I have a prior commitment. There have been some rumblings from Tartarus all cycle and Hades has asked me to help him look into it.”
“Sounds serious,” Ina remarked.
“That’s what I thought,” Ares admitted. “Hades or Pluto, whichever name he’s using this cycle, doesn’t normally ask any of us for help, so when he sent me a message, I figured I should answer. I was just on my way to pack up a few odds and ends and get going in fact.”
“Good luck,” Ina told him.
“Thanks, and let me know how your rainbow quest goes,” Ares told her. “If it turns out to be a long term problem, call me.”
“I will and thank you,” Ina agreed. “Do you know if Hera is in?”
“She’s calling herself Juno again this week,” Ares laughed, “but, yes, I just saw her to let Zeus know where I was headed. I don’t suspect Hades of treachery, but it never hurts to take precautions. Zeus is off somewhere – no surprise there – but Juno is in. You’re probably just in time for tea.”
Ina and Anuenue walked up the street to Juno’s palatial home and found the queen of Olympus puttering around in her own kitchen. Ares had been correct and Juno was busily brewing a pot of tea. “Don’t you usually have servants to do that?” Ina asked as she and Anuenue stood in the doorway.
“Venus!” Juno greeted her happily. “So nice of you to stop in. Who’s your friend?” Ina performed the introductions and then repeated her question. “Oh, yes, I do, but I gave them the week off. It seems to me that learning to do a few basic things for myself is a good thing, and, seriously, how hard is it to make tea? I’ve been taking pastry classes in Paris, in fact. You two can help me test the results. Venus, I must say you’ve changed.”
“In almost every way imaginable,” Ina nodded. “Most call me Ina these days and I’ve been teaching at Dee’s college in Vermont.”
“Dee?” Juno asked.
“Demeter,” Ina explained, “or Ceres. Mother Nature in the modern mythos. In guise, she calls herself Delores Meter. It all goes back to the year we tended the new World Tree.”
“That might explain your changes,” Juno remarked. “You have essentially collaborated on creating an entirely new world and that can easily change your nature.”
“I was ready for the change,” Ina admitted. “Over the millennia I shifted from the queen of heaven to just another vindictive bimbo. Here, let us help you carry all this out to somewhere we can enjoy this.”
While they had been talking, Juno had place three cups on a tray. Ina snatched the pot of tea, placed it on the tray and picked it up before Juno could object, while Anuenue picked up a tray of pastries that had been sitting on a nearby counter. Juno looked like she was about to say something and changed her mind and then simply led them out to the porch that encircled the temple-house. “Let’s sit out back,” she suggested. “The view is marvelous.”
Ina had to agree that Juno’s assessment of the view for the back of her Greco-Roman palace temple was magnificent, but after several years in Vermont she was used to seeing mountains and was thinking that the next time she and Mike moved, she might prefer something with a nice seaside view. They sipped at the tea and praised Juno on her pastry skills, but eventually Ina brought up the subject that had brought her and Anuenue to Olympus.
“Iris?” Juno asked. “I haven’t seen her in months. She requested a leave of absence and since life has been fairly quiet this past cycle, I granted it. Actually, that’s what got me started with cooking classes. It seemed a good time to try something new. Anyway, she left her caduceus with me, it’s in my throne room – I’m thinking of remodeling it into a cozy living room since I don’t hold court much anymore – and then she climbed on the nearest rainbow and left. To tell the truth I expected to hear from her by now, but she must be busy.”
“Doesn’t she need the caduceus to travel that way?” Ina asked.
“Not at all,” Juno laughed. “The caduceus is a badge of office. It marks her as my herald. She uses her golden wings to travel by rainbow, or maybe she just uses them to get on a rainbow. Hermes also travels via rainbow sometimes, you know, and normally I might suggest talking to him, but he’s been off running errands for Zeus, some sort of collaboration between him and Dagda up in Ireland. Not sure what they are up to, but they’ve been gone over a month too.
“If you really need to find Iris though,” Juno continued, “you might try consulting the Moirae, although I did hear you had a little run in with them a few years ago.”
“It turned out all right,” Ina admitted, “and Lachesis and I still try to have lunch once a month. It’s worth a shot and I’m more likely to get an intelligible answer from them than if I consult an oracle.”
“Oh, don’t use an oracle if you can avoid it, dear,” Juno advised. “They might tell you the truth, but it is axiomatic that you will never figure out what they meant until you no longer need to.”
“Well, it’s another trip back to the World Tree, then,” Ina sighed, “but I brought my car. We’ll have to go the long way around.”
They finished their tea and then made their farewells before going back down the street to Ina’s car where they caught a trio of satyr boys about to let the air out of the tires. “Don’t even think about it,” Ina warned them. One of the “kids” stuck his tongue out at her and brandished a shiny bronze knife. In return, she simply waved her hand as though shooing them away. The knife-wielder dropped his weapon and all three suddenly bolted and ran as though all the furies of Hell were chasing them.
“What did you do?” Anuenue asked curiously.
“An old trick,” Ina replied. “I have always been able to control emotions and many people think that just means the emotions of love. Actually my ability extends to the full gamut of what people can feel. It is most effective on the young and easily impressed, like that troop of boys. Basically, I put the fear of the goddess in them. I don’t normally use the ability any longer. I learned the hard way that it is better to meet people on their own terms and if you want them to like you, it’s best not to try something they are guaranteed to resent later on. Besides, it doesn’t always work well and you really don’t want to have to depend on it in a pinch.
“Then why did you use it?”
“On the brat pack there?” Ina laughed. “Even had one of them resisted the other two would have trampled him in their attempt to get away. Besides, I didn’t want to hurt them. They were just children. Mean vicious little children, but children nonetheless. If I had the time, though I’d have a word with their parents. Satyrs are not all like that. One of my students is a satyr and a sweeter kid you are not likely to meet. One of my best students, too. Been on the dean’s list since he got to school.
“Well, let’s get in and get ready for another hellacious ride,” Ina went on. “We’re headed for the center of the Universe in the divine sense, that is. The base of the World Tree’s trunk. You don’t get much more central than that.”
“Inside the Tree itself?” Anuenue suggested.
“Neither of us are termites,” Ina pointed out, “or dryads, tree nymphs. They spend at least part of their time inside the trees they are paired with.”
“I just thought that given how large the Tree is, there might be a sort of cavern in the folds of its bark,” Anuenue told her.
“Interesting concept,” Ina admitted and she started the motor, “but I don’t think there is one on this aspect of the Tree. Okay, see if you can get your pets to work with us again.”
She started forward and this time simply slipped between the plains. The Rainbows were there again, but this time they behaved themselves and stayed in the sky although even this limited what Ina could to progress themselves toward the place of the Fates. Part of the trick to negotiating one’s way between the plains was in using one’s mind to modify the conditions around you. You could change conditions bit by bit until you were where you wanted to be. There were certain progressions it was important to use in order to get from one place to another and it could take a century or more of practice before one learned enough to do so safely, but it meant changing things like the color of the grass or the sky, whether or not there were clouds, whether it was raining or snowing or even what was actually raining or snowing on you as you went. With the rainbows dominating the sky and even some of the more distant parts of the landscape, Ina was forced to work with the area nearest to her.
However, no matter what changes she made she could sense that without a variable sky her car was going to have to cross over a wide body of water. Unlike Jael, she preferred not to drive over roads that climbed through the sky and burrowed deep into the bowels of an active volcano, but after steering away from a wide sandy beach three times, she finally gave in and imagined a long causeway stretching out and over the waves. They drove along that way for over an hour until the far shore finally came into view.
“Last time I drove this long over a causeway, I was able to stop in the French Quarter for a drink afterwards,” Ina remarked. “Actually, this causeway was several times longer, but this did feel like driving over Lake Pontchartrain. Right now I’m just trying to get to Mount Parnassus. That’s not really where we are headed, but it’s along the way I know best.”
“I know of that one,” Anuenue remarked. “Shouldn’t we have stayed within the mountains between Olympus and there?”
“If the Divine plain had any logic to it, we should have, but it doesn’t work that way,” Ina explained. “I expected to cross water at some point, but normally it’s just a river or two. Finding the Fates used to be a lot simpler in any case. In the ancient world they would have either been in Olympus by the throne of Zeus or in the underworld by the throne of Hades. But the Modern world opened up all sorts of possibilities for all of us and the Moirae merged with their Norse aspects, the Norns and now can most often be found at work at the base of Yggdrasil. Ah! There is Parnassus. See that big mountain on the horizon? The one even your rainbows do not quite touch? Why is that, do you think? I would have thought between being one of the homes of the Muses and that of Dionysus and his Maenads the rainbows would have fit right in. No accounting for the supernatural, I guess. The reason this is so round about is that there is no direct Greco-Roman analog to Yggdrasil.”
“So why are we coming here?” Anuenue asked.
“Because Parnassus is where Deucalion landed as the great flood subsided,” Ina replied. “That means we can switch easily from Parnassus to its Judeo-Christian analog, Ararat. There, did you see the mountain change? Now we don’t need to get any closer to Ararat, but from here we can keep heading south and, with luck, one more switch. Yes! Look up into the sky ahead.”
“Is that a tree hanging upside down?” Anuenue asked.
“Yes,” Ina nodded. “Yes it is. That is the Tree of Life. It’s is not always hanging down from Heaven like that. Sometimes it is just unreachably distant from the Tree of Knowledge, but for our purposes, we merely need to approach the two trees and as we do, we can shift through their Germanic, Baltic and Norse aspects and with those rainbows all around us, I need merely think of the Rainbow Bridge, Bifrost and we are here. Now we are headed directly for Yggdrasil,” she concluded as the impossibly immense tree came into view. The nice smooth ride also vanished at the same time. “Maybe I should have bought that Land Rover instead of the Jaguar. No one has ever built a road around here, unless you count the Tree himself. If it weren’t for your rainbows, I might try slipping between the plains to get closer, but now that we’re in sight of our destination, I would hate to risk it. We could end up in Babylon, or Saskatchewan for that matter. I’m not sure which would be farther from where we want to be. We’ll just have to drive slowly and carefully over the terrain. I’ll tell you this much, though. Next time Mike tells me to buy a sensible car, I’m listening.”
Just then, the earth shook beneath them and a large serpentine head broke through the surface ahead of them. It roared at them and Anuenue, in turn, shrieked in fear, but Ina’s reaction was quite different. She stopped the car and got out. Then she walked up to the large dragon, reached out and smacked it on its tremendous nose.
“Shoo!” she told it.
The dragon reared back and roared again, but Ina transformed into a large eagle-like bird with a long and very sharp beak and talons. She flew straight at the dragon’s eyes with her talons extended and when the dragon ducked, left long, bleeding gashes across the top of its head. This time it was the dragon who shrieked and when Ina spun about in the air and began her next attack, it dove back into the ground as though it were a lake and disappeared.
Ina landed next to the car and phased back into her normal guise. “Nidhogg!” she growled the name. “Stupid worm. Last time he messed with me, he was lucky to have any scales left. That was in the war at the end of the last cycle and I had a bit of help, but you would have thought he would remember me. Oh well, maybe I’ve changed more than I thought. I still don’t like that warrior-bird form of mine though. Makes me feel dirty just thinking about it. Well, let’s move on. The Vale of the Norns is under that big root that arches up and down next to the trunk of the Tree.”
The final leg of their journey was hardly a straight path. Ina had to go around several hills and once had to double back when they encountered a cliff, but after another two hours they finally arrived at the Vale of the Norns.
“Nice wheels,” a scratchy voice commented as Ina and Anuenue climbed out of the car. “Not particularly practical for driving off-road though.”
“Atropos,” Ina greeted the eldest of the Fates. Atropos was dressed in a long, black, hooded robe. Except for the fact that is was obviously made out of plush velvet, she might have seemed like the female incarnation of Death, which, in fact, she was, except that instead of a scythe, she cut the threads of life with sheers or a knife. “You normally wear more modern clothing,” Ina observed.
“This?” Atropos laughed. “It’s a bathrobe. Clotho bought it on her last shopping trip. She thought it was funny, but it is nice and warm. That’s why I’m wearing it. We had some frost here this morning. I’d complain about these old bones, but we both know you’re older than I am.”
“I’ve told you this before,” Ina reminded her. “You aren’t required to stick to this ancient guise.”
“It’s low maintenance,” Atropos shrugged. “Oh, I know the mortals have sometimes depicted me as a young woman, but more often than not, I’m a crone, especially in modern literature.”
“We’re not required to give the customer what he wants or expects,” Ina pointed out. “I’m proof of that.”
“What can I say?” Atropos shrugged. “I’m comfortable this way, for now at least. It’s almost time to move to our winter home in the Everglades. So what brings you here, unless you were just looking for that wrestling match with Nidhogg?”
“No, that was an unexpected pleasure,” Ina replied, scowling. “I was trying to get here entirely Between, but have a look at the sky.”
“Pretty,” Atropos admitted, “but not natural, even for this place. What’s happening?”
“This is Anuenue,” Ina introduced her friend at last. “Like Iris, she has an affinity for rainbows and uses them in a similar manner for similar purposes. These rainbows seem to be scared or worried about something anyway, and want to be near her for comfort, I think.”
Atropos stared at Anuenue for a long moment before commenting, “You have odd taste in pets, but I still don’t know why you brought your roadshow to me.”
“Actually, I was looking for Lachesis,” Ina admitted. “No offense, but she gets out into the world more often than you do. She’s not here though.”
“Clotho wanted to go shopping again,” Atropos replied. “Lachesis usually goes to keep her out of trouble. That girl really cannot be trusted with a credit card. I just hope they don’t bring me back another lousy t-shirt. Something like that rainbow dress you’re wearing would be nice,” she told Anuenue, “but full-length because my legs really aren’t worth showing off.”
“There are shops in Honolulu that sell this sort of stuff,” Ina pointed out. “Mostly to tourists, I suspect, but if you like it, who would dare to criticize? Anyway, we’re looking for Iris. I’m hoping that she might know more about what is happening, although it turns out she hasn’t been seen in months.”
Atropos considered that before replying, “I cannot tell you where she is, but I know she is still alive and well.”
“You can tell how she is?” Ina asked.
“Not directly,” Atropos admitted, “but her thread has not been cut. She’s in no danger of dying anytime soon.”
“But how do you know she is well?” Ina persisted.
“Like I said,” Atropos told her testily, “She’s in no danger of dying anytime soon. She might be under the weather at this very moment, but she’s a goddess same as we all are. How many sick days have you had to take?”
“That’s a good point, but then, where is she?” Ina asked.
“You know, it wasn’t all that long ago that you were reminding me that you were the first and foremost of the Moirae,” Atropos remembered. “Can’t you see for yourself?”
“I was partially bluffing when I did that,” Ina admitted. “I do have the ability to return to that former aspect of mine, but I would prefer not to, if you don’t mind. I have come a very long way since then and it took all that time to accomplish it, but I finally got to a place where I really like myself. It will be best for everyone if I stay this way. I would have taken that jumbo step backwards had you and your wyrd sisters called my bluff, but I think we’re all happier that it never came to that.”
“You are probably right,” Atropos admitted, “and the old you would never have realized all that. Well, since this seems to be a matter of rainbows and you cannot find Iris, why not consult with other deities associated with those phenomena? Nearly every pantheon has at least one.”
“I thought of that,” Ina admitted. “That’s my Plan B. It’s just that I know Iris best. Now I’m not really sure where I should start.”
“Well, there’s…” Atropos began, but Ina cut her off.
“No. Wait. Yes I do!” she exclaimed “Thanks for your help. I’ll see what I can do to spice up your wardrobe. Come on, Anuenue. We’re headed back to the Mortal World.”
“Where?” Anuenue asked.
“It doesn’t matter,” Ina laughed. “I just need to make a phone call.
Ina started up the car and after rolling less than a foot they found themselves in the middle of a broad super highway. Several horns blared at them and Ina pushed the gas pedal down to the floor. The small red car shot off and was soon passing the horn honkers. “Heh! Now this is my sort of driving. Now where are we? We could be almost anywhere there are highways.” She continued to drive, looking for a road sign. “Aw heck!”
“What’s wrong?” Anuenue worried.
“Nothing, I suppose,” Ina admitted. “We’re on I-40 headed westward into Memphis, Tennessee.”
“I don’t understand.”
“My cult is mostly in Memphis,” Ina explained, “the modern one that is. There are people, mostly women all over the world who claim to worship me, but only the ones here and a few in Little Rock worship me as I am in the modern world. It’s a very long story, but I actually appeared to them in this guise several times and lectured them as to what I am about these days. It got a little out of hand and I decided that actually having one’s goddess sitting in your living room doesn’t really fit in with the modern world, so I gave them a farewell address, told them to be good and haven’t been back since. There are less than two dozen of them so the chance of running into one is probably fairly slim, unless I decided to pop into Garibaldi’s for a slice of pizza, but I’d rather not run into them. Nice girls, really, but when a goddess says goodbye, she really ought to make it stick, don’t you think?
“Well, we don’t really have to go into town,” Ina went on, “I just don’t like being this near the scene of the crime, so to speak. I wonder why we ended up here.”
“Probably because you have an active cult nearby,” Anuenue replied. “Deities are naturally attracted to their worshippers, so when you left the Divine Plain without specifying a destination, it was to be expected we would show up here.”
“That’s a very good point,” Ina admitted. “Normally, I know exactly where I want to go, this time I did just want the fastest route to the Mortal World. So my center is in Memphis these days? I wonder if anyone would notice if I took up residence in Graceland.”
“Where?”
“Let’s make that phone call,” Ina suggested, ignoring the question. She pushed a button on her steering wheel.
“The Queen of Heaven’s Phone,” a recording of Ina’s voice announced, “is connected,” a different synthetic voice concluded.”
“Call Ninti,” Ina commanded.
“Calling Ninti. Is that correct?” the voice asked.
“Yes,” Ina confirmed.
“Calling.”
“The Queen of Heaven’s phone?” Anuenue repeated.
“So maybe I haven’t changed as much as I’d like to think,” Ina shrugged as she listened to the ring tone over the car’s speakers.
“Springtime Seed Company,” a woman’s professional voice answered the phone. “Good afternoon. Ninti Therib speaking.”
“Ninti? It’s Ina. I’m looking for Iris.”
“Iris?” Ninti asked. “Do you mean the royal messenger of Hera?”
“Well, Hera’s calling herself Juno again, but yes, that’s the one,” Ina replied. “I don’t suppose you know where she might be at the moment?”
“She’s a talented and resourceful lady,” Ninti replied, “but she has never been associated with any of our projects, so I haven’t heard from her.”
“I didn’t expect you had,” Ina admitted, “but I was hoping her name might have come up recently. You know how gods and goddesses love to gossip.”
“I certainly do,” Ninti admitted, sounding tired, “but the only time I’ve heard of her recently was a few months ago when Wade Vogel was telling me about his and Lizzie’s adventures in Croatia. I might not have taken much notice even then, but I had just had a long conversation with an Iris Cohen in Chicago earlier that same day when she called to place an order. Might I ask why you are looking for her? Is she in trouble?”
“I’m starting to wonder about that,” Ina admitted. “No one has seen her in months, but that could be her own choice. I only chose to seek her out because of another problem.” She went on to explain about Anuenue and where they had been so far.
“I was going to ask if you had been to Olympus,” Ninti commented, “but you have that covered. Well, I’ll start calling around. Maybe she’s just trying to stay inconspicuous. Have you spoken to Dee yet?”
“Dee?” Ina repeated. “I would have thought She had enough on her plate. Besides, She’s probably wondering why I’m playing hooky on the first few days of classes.”
“As Mother Nature, She is sensitive to all supernatural manipulation of natural phenomena,” Ninti pointed out.
“Maybe I should have spoken to her before we left,” Ina admitted. “Okay. Thanks, dear. Let me know if you hear anything. Oh wait. What about Enki? His affinity for water might apply.”
“Enki’s out of the office,” Ninti explained. “He’s setting up a new project.”
“I hope it’s a circus,” Ina laughed. “He’s certainly got the practice in juggling.”
“He’s being very mysterious,” Ninti told her, “but I’m used to that. Say ‘Hi’ to Mike for me.”
“And my love to Hawk,” Ina signed off. She tried calling Dee, but learned she was teaching a class. “One of mine, I’m afraid,” Ina admitted to Anuenue. “Maybe we should stop for lunch. The little tidbits we had with Juno won’t sustain us forever.”
“I thought you wanted to avoid Memphis,” the Hawaiian goddess pointed out.
“Well, we don’t have to stay here,” Ina pointed out. Let’s see if we can get to El Paso. There’s a great Tex-Mex place I’ve heard about.”
An hour later, their hunger sated with green chicken enchiladas, they managed to get through to the Dean’s office at Sherburne College. “I was not aware that Iris was missing,” Dee admitted. “There have been some more odd rainbow-related occurrences, but I assumed that was you.”
“Might have been,” Ina admitted, “but as Iris is incommunicado, do you have any suggestions as to where we should look next?”
“The Divine World is filled with deities associated with rainbows,” Dee pointed out. “If you can’t find the one you know, perhaps one of the others will do. Let’s see, off the top of my head, there Tir of Armenia, he uses a rainbow to shoot arrows, There’s a rainbow serpent in the old Estonian myths who has the head of an ox for reasons I have never understood, a pre-Islamic Arabian weather god named Quzah and, of course, there’s Heimdall. Why don’t you try talking to them?”
“We will,” Ina agreed. “Thanks.”
“Excuse me?” a woman asked Ina and Anuenue from behind them. “Did I hear you trying to talk to that snake?”
“We’re looking for the rainbow serpent,” Ina explained. “I hear it has the head of an ox, but…”
“So you’re asking a common grass snake?” the woman laughed. “Do snakes talk where you come from?”
“Only if trying to pick me up in a bar,” Ina admitted. “Perhaps you can help us? I’m Ina Loveall and this is Anuenue.”
“My name is Linda, but I am afraid I do not know of any ox-headed snakes. Are you sure you are in the right place?”
“I thought I was,” Ina admitted, “but I can be wrong. Sometimes I think being wrong is my greatest talent. I am very good at it.”
“Perhaps I can help you,” Linda suggested. Ina told her what she and Anuenue were looking for and why. “My entire family relates in one way or the other to weather, but we have not really been very active in the modern world and have remained isolated in our own part of the Divine Plain. Between the normal activities of other deities and global climate change, I doubt we could help.”
“So no ox-headed serpents in the sky?” Ina asked.
“That sounds like someone has confused our mythos with the Germanic story of Thor and the Midgard Serpent,” Linda suggested. “Our myths are not well-known outside Estonia and even there, we have been highly influenced by our neighbors. You don’t even want to think about what the influx of Communistic gods has done.”
“Communistic gods?” Ina could not help but ask.
“They are somewhat on the decline now,” Linda admitted, “although not completely, of course. Deities of any ilk last longer than the belief in them and when a government suppresses religion in general, the end result is that the belief of the people is merely transferred to something else. In this case you will find the idealizations of Marx, Lenin, Trotsky and others running around. They are somewhat nebulous compared to some of us, but they are among us and likely to be here for a long time to come.”
“Nebulous?” Ina considered the concept, “like ghosts?”
“Sometimes. At other times they can be solid, but I meant that since they were never supposed to be deifications, their actual nature shifts,” Linda explained. “Since they do not have a set theology behind them, their form depends on those who believe in them and that varies more than in most conventional religions.”
“Sort of like some the vaguely formed worlds that form associated with some of the new cults,” Ina nodded. “They have all the basic properties, but without a clearly formed theology they tend to be missing something, like the deities needed to populate them. I heard about one such world. Some friends of mine nearly got trapped. We call them ‘God traps’ and they latch on to any supernatural being who wanders into them and attempt to convert them into a deity who meets that world’s ambiguous specifications. If the associated cult was better thought out or had more members the world would form gods and goddesses of its own, but that takes unified belief, or at least I think so.”
“That coincides with my own observations,” Linda agreed. “I am sorry I cannot help you, however.”
“This was just our first stop,” Ina admitted, “and if we had not met you, we could have been wandering around here for days, trying to strike up a conversation with the local wildlife.”
“Well, some of the animals do talk,” Linda admitted, “but I doubt that would have helped.”
“Well, thanks, anyway, Linda,” Ina told her. “Look me up if you’re ever in Vermont.”
Their next stop brought them into the middle of the Arabian Peninsula. “Strange place to find a rainbow,” Anuenue commented to Quzah, the ancient god of weather.
“It would be unusual, pretty lady,” Quzah replied, “although not entirely impossible. Even here in the desert it does rain a little each year and with rain there is always the possibility of my bow.”
“Besides,” Ina added, “As I recall, this was not your traditional abode.”
“No, indeed,” Quzah confirmed. “I once lived in Muzdalifah, but that is no longer possible, so I wander with the weather.” He had been holding a rainbow in his hand when they found him. There was a sturdy and taut piece of twisted gut cord that stretched between the ends of the bow and it was obvious he used it as a weapon to launch arrows. As he talked, he drew an arrow from his quiver and knocked it. Then, looking out across the desert, he spotted something moving among the dunes and let the arrow fly. “Hah!” he cried triumphantly. “I knew I’d get him that time.”
“Who?” Anuenue asked.
“Oh, just a minor djinn,” Quzah shrugged. “He’s been a nuisance lately, but he will think twice before he tries any of his tricks again. He’s been bothering some of the travelers out here from time to time. Causing their camels to go lame or their cars to get a flat tire – that seems to be his specialty.”
“Nice to know you still take an interest in mortals,” Ina remarked.
“They are still my people even if they no longer worship me,” Quzah shrugged. “Man or god, one must have a purpose or else die.”
“Have you noticed anything odd about the rainbows lately,” Ina asked.
“It is strange you should ask that,” Quzah admitted. “It has not happened in a few days nor was it very strong, but I have felt something from far away tugging at my bow. It felt strange, but not entirely unlike when someone uses a rainbow relatively nearby and by that I mean within a thousand miles. The rainbows frequently resonate together and the closer they are the more in synchronization that resonation is. What felt odd was that it seemed as though I was catching echoes of echoes rather than the resonation of a bow that was nearby. However, it passed and I put it out of mind.”
“Okay, last question,” Ina promised. “Have you seen Iris lately? She’s Juno’s messenger.”
“I met her from time to time in the ancient world when we were both more openly active than we are today,” Quzah replied, “but I assume you mean recently? No. I doubt I have seen here any time in the last millennium. I cannot even say for certain that I have been aware of her passage. Many of us use rainbows in one manner or another. They are really quite versatile.”
“I suppose they are,” Ina admitted. “Well, thank you very much.”
Where to now?” Anuenue asked as she and Ina got back into her car.
“Dee mentioned Heimdall,” Ina replied. “I guess we should have started out with him. This might be a bit tricky. Technically the rainbow bridge, Bifrost, spans from anywhere on Midgard to Asgard, but I have only ever traveled there by way of the Tree. I don’t think the Tree would appreciate me driving on His branches and while He does have an aspect that is a highway, the cars one drives there are really a part of the Tree Himself. Well, let’s see if we can find the bridge without the Tree.”
A few hours later, however, she had to admit that while Bifrost could be everywhere from Yggdrasil, it must have a specific starting place on Earth. “I could be wrong,” she told Anuenue. “It could be that we simply have to be somewhere in Europe where the gods of Asgard were worshiped or maybe I just don’t have my head in the right place. The rules of travel on the Divine Plain vary depending on where one is going and where one is coming from. I guess what I am saying is, we can’t get there from here, so we’ll have to go somewhere else first.”
“You don’t have to drive like we’re in a race, you know,” Anuenue suggested. “We only have to move. Go very slowly and then once we are in the Tree we can get on this bridge, right?”
“We can try that,” Ina admitted. “It’s just that we’ll be climbing on to the Tree from the end of a branch. I hope it can take our weight.”
“I did not notice the branch giving under our weight when Jael escorted me,” Anuenue pointed out.
“Huh?” Ina asked. “I never noticed, but you’re right. I’ve never noticed the braches of Yggdrasil bending under my weight either, no matter how close to a branch end I was. I have seen broken branches, but I am fairly certain it takes something more than a mortal-built automobile to do that sort of damage. Okay, let’s give this a shot.” She started the car up one more time and then slowly moved forward. An instant later they were moving along a branch of the Tree that appeared narrower than the wheel base, and yet supported them anyway. “Step one accomplished,” Ina remarked. “Now, let’s…”
“Hey, babes?” a high squeaky voice asked. “Where you headed?”
“Ratatosk!” Ina snarled as the large squirrel jumped onto the hood of the car. “What are you doing here?”
“Have you forgotten where we are?” Ratatosk replied. “I live here. The better question is, ‘What are you doing here, dragging your under-carriage through the branches?’”
“You keep your paws off my under-carriage, rodent,” Ina warned him.
“I was talking about the car,” Ratatosk replied flatly. “You know we don’t normally allow such contrivances in the Tree. Ecological propriety and all that.”
“It’s the only way I know how to get on to Bifrost,” Ina admitted.
“Driving to Asgard, are you? That’s a new one,” Ratatosk admitted. “Now if this crate were a longship, but here, let me help.” An instant later they were driving over the long arch of Bifrost. Ratatosk turned around to face the direction they were headed, spread his comparatively small arms and shouted, “I’m king of the world!”
“You know, I really hated that movie,” Anuenue commented to Ina.
“Imagine how you might feel had you actually been on the Titanic,” Ina sighed.
“Wet?” Anuenue guessed.
“And very cold,” Ina admitted. “I ended up swimming back to Europe. There wasn’t much I could do for most of the people. It was definitely not a night for miracles. I was passed out in my cabin and went down with the ship. And that was the very last time I will ever get drunk. Had I been awake I might have saved most of those poor people. Come to think about it that might have been about the time I started to grow up a bit. I wasn’t feeling too good about myself by the time I got back to shore. Being teased by Neptune all the way didn’t exactly help and some of my fellow Olympians were… well, let’s just say they were less than sympathetic. Hey, Ratty? What’s the traction like on this bridge? I’d think we would both prefer not to crash land.”
“Treat it like you would any other road,” Ratatosk advised. “Don’t drive any faster than you would on any other steep hill.” That seemed like uncommonly kind advice from the squirrel until he added, “Oh and try not to hit any stray gods and goddesses along the way. They don’t like that.”
Ina took her foot off the accelerator and allowed the car to coast down the long arcing curve of the bridge. Even so she decided they were going too fast and found she had to keep her foot on the break. Eventually she tried to stop the car and discovered that she was skidding down the rainbow and had no control whatsoever over their descent.
The car fishtailed several times as it continued to slide downward and Ratatosk hooted with delight as the slope grew increasingly steeper. Anuenue tried to brace herself for a crash, but was unable to get a firm grip on anything but the door’s handle and began to scream. Ratatosk laughed even harder as he turned to look at the fear on Anuenue’s face and the grim determination on Ina’s. “At least you’re going with us, varmint!” Ina growled.
Ratatosk struck another pose on the hood and shouted, “Cowabunga! Hey look! I’m hanging eight!”
Anuenue continued to scream, but Ina suddenly realized something was wrong. “I smell a tree-rat,” she commented dryly and then she turned off the engine. The car continued to accelerate toward the ground below where a small thatched turf house stood at the foot of the rainbow bridge. “Calm down, Anuenue, It’s just an illusion.” The car was now headed straight at the ground and then something impossible happened. It just stopped.
The car was now sitting motionless on the grass next to Himinbjorg, the home of Heimdall. Not too far away there were birds chirping and a late season insect of some sort buzzed in the grass. Ratatosk continued to laugh on the hood of Ina’s car while pointing at the expressions on Anuenue’s and Ina’s faces. “I should have realized,” Ina told herself as Anuenue suddenly stopped screaming. “I just never saw that happen here before.”
“Special effects!” Ratatosk hooted.
“You did that?” Ina demanded.
“Oh, come on, Toots!” the squirrel laughed. “It was just a joke.”
“Like in many places on the Divine Plain,” Heimdall explained from his doorway, “Your progress across Bifrost can be controlled via thought. Once off the bridge, however, other conditions prevail. Otherwise, not even I would survive a crossing. Inanna? Welcome, but what are you doing here?” Heimdall’s blond hair was almost golden and he gave them a broad smile that seemed to brighten everything around him.
“Providing comic relief to the master of mange there,” she replied, pointing at Ratatosk. “Can the smug look, squirrel. You know I’ll remember this.”
“Counting on it, babe!” Ratatosk laughed, “but Goldenboy there has a point. Why are you here?”
“Doing research,” Ina replied.
“You?” Ratatosk laughed.
“You know very well, I am a college professor,” Ina pointed out with dignity. “Research is just part of the job.”
“What do you teach?” Heimdall asked.
“Comparative religions mostly,” Ina replied.
“Isn’t that what the mortals would call a conflict of interests,” Heimdall chuckled. “I mean what with you being a goddess, wouldn’t it be naturally for you to bias your lectures?”
“It would be,” Ina admitted, “but I don’t. The job is too interesting the way it is to even tempt me to play that sort of game. I don’t even give myself any more time than other gods in my ‘Ancient Religions’ class. Considering how important my cults were in some parts of the ancient world it wouldn’t even be cheating, but the class is more interesting my way. However, that’s not the research we are doing. Heimdall, have you noticed anything unusual involved with rainbows lately?”
“Well, a few days ago, Bifrost kept trying to go to all sorts of unusual places,” Heimdall admitted. “I was on it one moment and the next I was watching the surf near Hauula. I was a bit over-dressed for the occasion, but the surfers didn’t seem to mind. I just got back an hour ago, in fact.”
“That probably coincides with my arrival on Yggdrasil,” Anuenue admitted. “I travel by rainbow and was just trying to get home. I didn’t realize what I was doing to your bridge.”
“Anything else?” Ina asked.
“Not really,” Heimdall admitted. “Finding myself on Oahu, I decided a vacation was in order. Even a tireless guardian needs some time off once in a while.”
“All right,” Ina sighed. “How about Iris of Olympus? Have you seen her recently?”
“Cute little thing with the golden wings?” Heimdall smiled reminiscently.
“That’s the one,” Ina nodded, “I think she may be involved in the trouble we’re investigating.”
“How do you figure that?” Ratatosk asked. “It seems to me the Hula Queen here was the cause of all the rainbow-flavored wackiness.”
“No,” Ina denied. “Anuenue is here with me because she too was interfered with via the rainbows acting strangely. Ratty, you weren’t with us when we left Killington. The rainbows closed in all around us anxious for attention and comforting.”
“Babe, I’m impressed,” Ratatosk told her. “Consider who I am and what I do for a living.”
“You’re a baseball scout for the Dilmun Lamassu?” Ina shot back.
“I carry insulting messages up and down the Tree,” Ratatosk corrected her. “I am the original postman. Nasty, snarling dogs take one look at me and run for cover. Around here, they do shoot the messenger and you do have to be crazy to do this job, but, in craziness, you just beat every record I ever set. Time for me to pack it in and retire to Florida. I think Hawk’s old condo is still on the market. Rainbows needed comforting?”
“They did,” Anuenue insisted. “You weren’t there. Something or someone out there is doing something that is scaring them badly. I was told you were a guardian of the Tree and that means you are a guardian of the whole world. You ought to be taking this seriously.”
“Babe,” Ratatosk began.
“Oh, don’t you ‘babe’ me,”Anuenue retorted, sticking her finger against Ratatosk’s snout. “I’ll have your pelt for a throw rug and cook the rest of your carcass over Pele’s fire.”
“You don’t want to eat him,” Heimdall laughed “Logi couldn’t devour him.”
“Who’s Logi?” Anuenue asked.
“The personification of Fire,” Heimdall laughed. “He beat Loki in an eating contest once. Come to think about it, Loki, himself, wouldn’t even taste this one.”
“Of course not,” Ratatosk laughed. “He’s dead for at least the rest of the cycle. Eddy Salem took him out with a club made out of Yggdrasil’s wood.”
“Even alive he wouldn’t touch you,” Heimdall pointed out.
“Afraid of getting cooties, I’m sure,” Ina added. “As for Iris’ involvement, I know I don’t have any real physical proof to go on. It’s just a hunch, but over the cycles, I have come to find my hunches and intuitions more reliable than…”
“Others’ actual ability to use logic?” Ratatosk finished for her. “Well, considering how some gods think through a problem you may well be right.”
“I have found that most intuition,” Heimdall offered, “is really just your subconscious mind working out a problem while your conscious mind is busy with something else.”
“But now we’re back to searching for Iris and I’m not sure where to start,” Ina admitted. “Anuenue, I may as well take you home. I suspect this is going to be a long-term search and you didn’t actually volunteer for this trek.”
“The hell I didn’t,” Anuenue retorted. “I could have made my own way back to Oahu anytime once Jael got me off of Yggdrasil. I stayed because I wanted to see this out. If you say we have to find this Grecian counterpart of mine, then that’s just what we are going to do.”
“Great!” Ratatosk enthused. “Where are we going next?”
“We?” Ina rounded on him. “Who invited you?”
“Since when do I need an invitation?” Ratatosk shot back. “I go where I want, and I can get there faster than that hopped-up horseless carriage of yours. You may as well let me come along for the ride.”
“You won’t fit in the glove compartment,” Ina replied, “and I’m not sure I can stuff you in the trunk. You might look good tied down to the hood, though. You have noticed I don’t have a back seat, right?”
“I’ll find a way.” Ratatosk assured her. “Trust me.”
“Never.”
“I have had a chance to think about this,” Anuenue told Ina. “The rainbows are in distress, right?”
“See?” Ratatosk crowed. “This is why I’m tagging along. You two actually believe that mere refractions of sunlight can have emotions. I love it!”
“If you want to get technical,” Anuenue told Ratatosk, “They are really reflecting the emotions of someone with which they are associated. To those of us who use them, rainbows are like pets. They reflect our emotions back at us and obey our commands, both conscious and subconscious so they seem alive and independent. Someone, somewhere, who has an affinity for rainbows is in deep trouble and I, for one, am going to see what I can do to help them.”
“Can you get a sense of direction from these emotional reflections?” Heimdall asked. “Can you tell which way to go next?”
“It is not that easy,” Anuenue admitted. “The emotional emanations come from every direction at once. They travel at the speed of the rainbow, which is to say, at the speed of light so they go around the earth several times per second. Were I an Infinite, then maybe I could tell where the feelings were emanating from, but I’m not.”
“Do these emotional signals get stronger, the closer you are to the one sending them?” Heimdall asked. Anuenue nodded, “Then perhaps we can triangulate by visiting several places where one finds Rainbows frequently. If you can judge the relative strength of such signals, perhaps we can determine the center of disturbance.”
“You’re coming with us too?” Ina asked, glancing at her car which barely had room for two.
Heimdall was about to answer, but there was a tremor in the ground beneath them before he could speak. Himinsbjorg shook slightly but rather than look to his home, Heimdall pointed at Bifrost. The rainbow bridge was vibrating and shaking back and forth as though trying to break away from its foundation on the edge of the lands of Asgard. The guardian god walked briskly across the vibrating landscape and placed one foot on Bifrost. At first, the bridge shook even more violently, but it gradually calmed down and returned to its normal state. “I had been planning to join you,” Heimdall told the others, “but this was no ordinary quake. I must remain here on guard.”
“Your guidance, however, is appreciated,” Ina told him. “We shall seek out the center of disturbance. Anuenue, I do wish I had known you could do this before. It might have saved us time.”
“You seemed to know what you were doing,” Anuenue replied.
“Only in the most liberal terms,” Ina admitted with a sigh. “As usual, I just jumped into a situation that presented itself to me. I knew you were unacquainted with some of the places we visited, but overlooked the fact that you are far from helpless. I’m sorry, Anuenue. I shall try not to make that mistake again. So where should we look next?”
“I am not really so sure of that either,” the Rainbow Maiden admitted. “As I said, the distress seems to come from everywhere at once, reflected as they are, but if you know places where rainbows are a frequent occurrence, we should probably start there.”
“All right,” Ina nodded. “Let’s visit some of the world’s most spectacular waterfalls.”
“Waterfalls?” Anuenue asked.
“Sure,” Ratatosk chimed in. “With enough mist in the air, you can almost always spot a bow on a sunny day, at least from the right angle. Where should we start, though?”
“Now that is what the Internet is for,” Ina smiled. “Let’s get back to the Mortal World and I can use my smart phone.”
They spent the next day and a half visiting some of the most spectacular waterfalls on Earth including the Sutherland Falls in New Zealand, the Victoria Falls in Africa, the Ventisquero Falls in Chile, and Angel Falls in Venezuela. They also stopped to view and examine spectacular falls in China, Croatia, Vietnam, The Faroe Islands and Upstate New York. Finally, as they stood admiring the Horseshoe Falls at Niagara, Anuenue decided, “It is somewhere to our west, on this continent, I believe.”
Ina checked her list of waterfalls and suggested, “Yosemite next, then? There’s a lot of land between here and California.”
“It is worth a look, I think,” Anueneu agreed.
At the Yosemite falls, however, Anuenue had to admit, “Somewhere between here and Niagara, I am afraid. If anything the signal was slightly stronger there.”
“Nowhere on my list of great falls between here and there,” Ina admitted, but I know there are plenty of lesser known spots that will suit our purposes. Let me search a bit.” She pulled out her phone and touched the browser icon. It took her fifteen minutes, but she eventually announced, “Cedar Falls at Mount Petit Jean. Unless there’s been a drought lately, that should be just what we need.”
Cedar Falls turned out to be a fairly spectacular ninety-five foot drop in Petit Jean State Park, more or less in the middle of Arkansas. They arrived on a warm afternoon with just a few of the local trees starting to hint at their autumnal colors. It was also the middle of the week, so there were only a few hikers and other tourists in the park and Ratatosk had no trouble avoiding being spotted as he slipped between the trees while Ina and Anuenue walked along the trail that led them to near the base of the falls. “Well?” Ina prompted her friend.
“I’m not sure,” Anuenue admitted. “It feels as though we are closer now, but the distress is somehow diminished as though whoever it is, is losing hope. I think we must hurry.”
“Which way?” Ina pressed.
Anuenue was uncertain, but to the surprise of both goddesses, Ratatosk pointed vaguely northeastward and told them, “That way. I might have no feeling for rainbows, but I can smell trouble a thousand miles away and this is closer than that. This time, you follow me.” He immediate slipped between the Plains, but Ina stopped him.
“Let’s do this in my car. I don’t want to have to come back here looking for it if it turns out we need it in a hurry.”
Ratatosk looked annoyed for a moment, but then sagged just a bit. “I really hate it when you’re right,” he admitted. A few minutes later, he was perched on Ina’s car just behind the seats and complained, “This is not going to work. Slow down and let me off. Ina did and Ratatosk jumped over the two women and landed neatly just in front of the car. “Now, follow me,” he commanded.
He led them Between the plains for another few minutes and then back into the Mortal World directly into a long grassy area with crisscrossing walkways, surrounded by trees and a wide assortment of buildings. At one end of the park-like quadrangle they spotted a distinctive red brick building with tall columns and a broad verdigris dome, but Ratatosk brought their attention to another red brick building just beside them. This one sported a light gray arch at the stop of a stairway to its entrance into which dark brown wooden doors had been set. “This is where the trouble is centered,” Ratatosk told them.
“And we seem to be attracting a lot of attention,” Anuenue observed. Ina looked around and noticed there were a lot of people staring at them and pointing. Several were using their phones to take pictures and others were making calls.
“I suspect they are not used to seeing cars parked on the quad,” Ina remarked. “I don’t know exactly where we are, but this is obviously a college or university. Given the size of the place, I’m going to guess it’s a university. Ratty, I’m moving us Between until we can find a legal parking spot.”
“Won’t that attract even more unwanted attention?” Anuenue asked even as the campus faded from sight.
“I’d rather be thought of a mysterious and temporary apparition than just some jerk who illegally drove her car in a pedestrian-only zone,” Ina remarked. They re-entered the Mortal world a short distance away and were able to find a parking space only a block away from the building Ratatosk had led them to. “So let’s figure out where we are.”
“The University of Illinois,” Anuenue announced, “wherever that is.” Ina shot her a questioning look and the Hawaiian goddess pointed at a sign.
“Urbana-Champaign,” Ina nodded. “Makes sense. It’s between Petit Jean and Niagara, although I don’t see any rainbows around here.”
“They may not be visible,” Anuenue told her, “but there is something inside that building. Let’s find out what.”
“We can’t just go barging in,” Ina pointed out. “Strolling around the quad is something any visitor might do, but boldly nosing about, uh, let’s see… The Noyes Laboratory… Well, that’s something we ought to have, as outsiders, an appointment or an invitation to do.”
“So you’re a visiting professor,” Ratatosk suggested. “Flash your ID card from Sherburne College.”
“I’m Professor of the Religion Department,” Ina pointed out. “I’m not sure what sort of lab this is, but…”
“Chemistry,” Ratatosk informed her.
“What?”
“This is the School of Chemical Sciences,” Ratatosk explained.
“Not exactly a related discipline,” Ina grumbled.
“We’ll fake it.”
They stepped through the door and were immediately halted by a voice shouting, “No pets in here!” They turned to see a campus security guard bearing down on them.
“Back off, Bozo!” Ratatosk told him. “I’m a service animal.” The guard stared at the giant talking squirrel in a manner Ina would never have expected to see outside a cartoon. She reached out to close his mouth, which was comically open in astonishment before continuing onward. Ratatosk looked back over his shoulder and spoke the word, “Woof.” They were walking down a staircase when the squirrel added, “See? Nothing to it.”
“It occurs that my car sitting on the quad might not have been what was attracting all that attention,” Ina realized. “I might not have a degree in security, but I am an expert on men and that one is not going to let this go that easily. Let’s get to wherever we are headed and then out of here before he comes to his senses and calls for reinforcements.”
“How many reinforcements do you think he has?” Ratatosk chuckled.
“More than I care to deal with,” Ina shot back. “Look. That was just a kid doing his job. He’s fairly young, probably a student working to pay for his education. There’s no need to ruin his day if we can avoid it.”
“Ruin?” Ratatosk chuckled. “We probably made his day. He’s going to be able to tell his friends he saw a talking squirrel. Who can make that sort of thing up?”
“You don’t read much, do you?” Ina muttered sourly.
“In there,” Anuenue pointed toward a wall at the bottom of the stairway.
“Probably a lab work room,” Ina remarked. “No doors in sight. Let’s walk around the corner.” They did so and found the room full of scientific instruments, but empty of people. “That’s a relief,” Ina sighed. “I wasn’t able to come up with a flimsy story for what we are doing here.”
“Woof,” Ratatosk said again.
“Hush. Anuenue, most of the machines in here are running. Do any of them call to you?”
“Several do,” Anuenue admitted. “I need to check each one.”
“Well, we’re in the Mass Spectrometry Department,” Ina commented. “At least that’s what the directory upstairs said, so I guess we have rainbows all around us.”
“What in the Nine Worlds is mass spectrometry?” Ratatosk asked.
“Think of it as using rainbows to learn what stuff is made of,” Ina told him. “No, I don’t know how it works. Not in detail anyway. I think they burn stuff and then study the light the fire produces, but I could be wrong. Not exactly my field of expertise.”
“No,” Ratatosk replied. “You’re the love doctor.”
“I suppose I am,” Ina admitted, “but stop making it sound like something dirty.”
“This one,” Anuenue cut in. She was pointed are one of the larger machines. It was on and humming with all its lights flashing much brighter than those on the other devices in the room. “It feels like someone is screaming in here.”
“Lots of blinky lights,” Ratatosk agreed, “and there’s trouble in here. Actually I think we’re surrounded by trouble. Whatever you plan to do, do it fast!”
Ina stepped up to what she thought was a mass spectrometer and concentrated. “There is a divine aura about this. Ratty, stand guard and don’t let anyone in.” Ina started to concentrate on a summoning spell, intent on drawing out whatever was divine from the machine.
Ratatosk had just barely reached the door when someone knocked on it insistently. “You can’t come in just now. “ He told the knocker. “We have a, uh… a situation in here.”
“Open this door!” someone demanded.
“Hold on a moment,” Ratatosk improvised. “Uh… we have ladies changing in here.”
“Who are you?”
“The boss,” Ratatosk tried.
“Bruce Springsteen?” Ina wondered out loud and then cursed herself for getting distracted.
“This is my lab,” Ratatosk tried again.
“The hell it is! Security!” That was followed by hasty footsteps back down the hall.
“Better work faster, babe,” Ratatosk advised. “I suspect I just mouthed off at the head of this department.”
Ina, however, had already returned to her concentration and quickly cast her spell. There was a blinding flash of pure white light that exploded into every color imaginable. Ina did her best to shield her eyes against the violence of the light, but she still had a multitude of varicolored spots in her vision, but as they started to clear up she spotted a woman of moderate height with light brown hair, dressed in a sky blue track suit, who just happened to have a pair of bright golden wings attached to her back.
“Iris!” Ina exclaimed. “It’s about time we found you.”
“Do I know you?” Iris asked, blinking her eyes – a sign that she, too had been partially blinded by the light.
“You did when I was Aphrodite and Venus,” Ina confirmed. “This is the new me. What do you think? Does it suit me?”
“You have changed for the better,” Iris agreed, “but now I recognize you, Inanna. I don’t think I have seen you out of uniform.”
“I only call myself Inanna when playing baseball,” Ina admitted. “Let’s start over. Hi. I’m Ina.”
“Nice to meet you again,” Iris nodded. “I recognize Ratatosk. We have met before, but…”
“This is you in a muumuu,” Iris began the introduction. “Anuenue, a messenger of the Hawaiian pantheon.”
“Let’s take this discussion outside,” Ratatosk suggested, “and by that I mean outside the world.”
“Definitely outside this lab,” Ina agreed. “You don’t have any luggage do you?” she asked Iris.
“After what I have been through,” Iris admitted. “I’m lucky I still have my clothes, but I think you’ll find we cannot enter the place between the plains from this building.”
“Then I suggest we run,” Ina told her as they started toward the door, “unless you still have that phial of water you used to carry with you.”
“That was taken from me,” Iris replied.
“Come on!” Ratatosk urged them. “You girls can catch up later. Maybe have a sleep-over if you like. Right now I think we have company coming. Run!”
All three women followed suit and rushed out the door, but as they did, they heard the blast of a whistle and a man’s voice shout “Halt!”
“Keep going,” Ratatosk urged. Then he turned around to see three campus guards running toward them. “Hey, guys!” he waved enthusiastically. “So, you come here often?” He scampered directly at them and then turned sharply toward the wall, used his legs for support as he bounced off of it and then shot off directly behind the guards. “So, did you hear the one about the campus cops who tried to arrest a talking squirrel?” He caught sight of two more men in uniform and abruptly twisted about and headed back toward the original three. This time he faked a turn toward the wall and then switched direction and jumped up to the ceiling, bounced off and landed on the floor behind the guards. “Yeah, well, let me know how that one turns out.”
Ratatosk ran full tilt toward the nearest stairway upward and passed the women just as they all reached the outside door. Most whistles were blown and several men and at least one woman ordered them to stop, but once outside they were able to step out of the Mortal world and on to one of the branches of Yggdrasil, neatly escaping their pursuers.
“I need to go back for my car,” Ina reminded them.
“Why do you drive a car?” Iris asked as she found a place to sit down on the branch. “You certainly have other means of travel, ones you can’t be forced to leave behind.”
“It’s fun,” Ina replied.
“Fun?” Iris laughed. “Flying is fun.”
“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” Ina told her. “I’ve done both, remember. However, I’m starting to think I need to trade in my Jag for an SUV. We’re not going to all fit, but I think it’s a good idea to wait an hour or so for things to calm down back there, Maybe when they realize we didn’t do any harm they’ll just shrug our little invasion off. Meanwhile, Iris, what the heck were you doing inside a mass spectrometer?”
“Is that what they call that thing?” Iris asked. “I don’t really know how it happened. I was sailing eastward from Seattle to Toronto when the rainbow I was on suddenly went crazy. That sometimes happens when I get too close to a storm, but I can always steer them away from whatever disturbs them. This time, though it acted as though it had a mind of its own and then suddenly I was inside that machine. It took a few minutes to get my bearings but I was soon able to see outside as though in a cage of glass. Unfortunately, by the time I could, the only person in the room was someone in a white labcoat, walking out the door with my phial of Styx water in her hand.”
“That’s a nasty thing to fall into a mortal’s hands,” Ina replied.
“Even nastier in the hands of the wrong god or goddess,” Iris told her. “Who but another immortal would even know it was more than just a small bottle of water. The average mortal would have already poisoned herself with it or worse.”
“Why?” Anuenue asked. “What does that water do?”
“The water from the River Styx,” Ina explained, “has many properties. It contains all the powers of the Netherworld.”
“I mainly use it to induce forgetfulness,” Iris explained. “A drop to the forehead will cause one to forget whatever I want them to. Normally, it’s just that I was there at all, but other times, well, I use it sparingly as it is very difficult to obtain.”
“Forgetfulness?” Ina asked. “That’s a property of the River Lethe.”
“Lethe is ‘Oblivion,’” Iris agreed, “but the other four rivers of Hades flow into the Styx and so it has, to one extent or other the properties of all. That is why Achilles’ mother could grant him immunity from harm by dunking him into the Styx. I also use my Styx water to extract the truth from liars. As you said, the Styx contains all the properties of Hades. The key is in knowing how to use them. I do not know them all, by any means, but what I do know I try to use well.”
They were quiet for a few minutes until Anuenue asked, “You don’t know how you got trapped, but maybe we can figure it out by retracing your steps.”
“All right,” Iris agreed. “I left Olympus a few months ago. I wanted to find a place in the modern Mortal World. So many of our compatriots have, like Ina here. I knew enough to take it slowly and look around before trying to step in. Ina, you had a great advantage. You were never tied down to Olympus even in the ancient world and after the new religion took hold the scholars still venerated you.”
“Not really,” Ina denied, “not until the Renaissance. We all hung on to one extent or another because there were those few isolated hamlets where people still believed in us in spite of going to Church each Sunday. I guess some of us became saints or something, but trust me, I did not have the prayers and offerings I once had. Maybe a flower wished on or plucked apart in my name. That’s about it.” She rocked her head back and forth and sing-songed, “He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me… You probably know the drill.
“Didn’t that start a lot later?” Iris asked.
“It seems like forever,” Ina shrugged. “Anyway, we all only survived because somehow the sages of the Middle Ages got it through their heads that the ancients possessed more wisdom than they did, so we were remembered if only rarely worshipped actively. With the Renaissance though, we too found new life with their idealizations of us in the art of the period.”
“I believe some of that was going on throughout the Middle Ages,” Iris disagreed.
“Perhaps,” Ina shrugged. “I have to admit I spent the years after Constantine Christianized the empire in a bit of a depression. It lasted a few centuries.”
“Let’s move on,” Anuenue suggested. “So you left your divine home and then what?”
I’ve been having a bad time since I left Juno’s service,” Iris admitted. “Like Ina, I had a fair amount of time off after Rome converted, but with the Renaissance, we were all back in demand to one extent or other although not as we had been. My job had always been as Juno’s herald. My other attributes were less well known once religion changed, but I was always the royal messenger and that, for the most part, is the aspect of mine that became most emphasized as the modern world developed. And so much of what I did got delegated to Mercury. That started happening during the Roman period, really, but became even more pronounced during the Renaissance.
“So, I took my time and looked around,” Iris went on. “Finally, when I thought I had a handle on the way things are I decided that maybe I should play to some of my other strengths rather than that of a courier. Ina, you know I was a goddess of healing. I tried to get a job at a hospital, but I had no credentials, no modern university diploma. The only job I could get was as an orderly. I thought that might be a good way to start since I had much to learn about medicine as it is practiced now. I lasted a week. I was fired the moment I got caught trying to help a patient medically. I never realized they had cameras everywhere!”
“There are some good reasons for that,” Ina told her. “Security of the patients stands out in my mind, although I understand the cameras are there as much or more to protect the hospitals legally. There have been incidents.”
“There were back in the old days, too,” Iris agreed, “but I was only dispensing something called Acetaminophen.”
“Ah, Tylenol,” Ina shrugged. “It does nothing for me, but then if I get a headache I doubt most mortal medications would make much difference. However, that’s just the point. An orderly is not allowed to dispense any medication, no matter how innocuous. So did you try again with a different identity and a different hospital?”
“I considered it, but even in that first week, I discovered that everything had changed, I didn’t know any of the new medications and the new techniques make Aesculapius look like an ignorant barbarian in comparison.”
“You could probably get a job as a midwife, if that’s what you want,” Ina suggested.
“No,” Iris shook her head. “I learned just enough to realize that I could do more harm than good and Hippocrates had the right of it, ‘First, do no harm.’ So after that abortive attempt at a new career, I decided to see what I could do within the field of communications. I suppose that should have been my first choice, but I was looking for a new life. I spent a lot of time trying to understand how radio and television work, I thought it was a form of magic.”
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic?” Ina quoted.
“No, it just seems like magic. It just looks like it. If it were magic I am certain I could have picked it up in a flash and not only duplicated but improved on it. So I went out and talked to other deities whose whereabouts I knew. I visited Hephaistos in Oregon and Dionyssus in New York. I found Helios in Paris and Vesta continues to live in Rome.”
“Yes,” Ina agreed. “Mike and I were at a party there a few weeks ago.”
“Hephaistos suggested taking up a hobby,” Iris recalled. “He thought it would do me some good to work with my hands.”
“He would,” Ina chuckled. “He thinks with his hands. Not his fault, I’ve come to realize. It’s just the way he is.”
“Helios thought I should use my divine attributes to inspire and encourage mortals to do things in my province,” Iris told her. “Well, that’s his way too, isn’t it, but I didn’t want to just sit back and direct. I don’t mind getting my hands dirty once in a while. Others like you, Ina, are actively participating in the world and I want to do likewise.
“However, I decided that I still had a lot to learn so while doing so, I went with the second option and started guiding important messages to their destinations,” Iris continued. “That actually went well for the first few days until I got involved with an urgent e-mail being sent to that laboratory. Before I even realized something was wrong, the rainbow I was on went wild and I woke up inside that machine.”
“And you have no idea who trapped you there?” Ina pressed.
“Not really,” Iris admitted. “I know she was female, but all I heard was her wicked chuckle as she left the room with my phial of Styx water.”
“The fact that was all she took probably means she both knew what it was and how to use it.” Anuenue noted.
“It was an obvious set-up,” Ina agreed.
“I don’t agree,” Ratatosk told them.
“When have you ever?” Ina countered.
Ratatosk ignored that and continued, “Look, just because our mystery woman knew what she had when she found it, it does not necessarily follow that was what she was after. She may have been fishing and golden wings here may have simply been a target of opportunity. Seems to me that trap could well have been sprung on anyone associated with rainbows and how could she know Iris was going to be in the right place and time?”
“I hate to agree with the rodent on anything,” Ina pointed out, “but I have to admit he has a point. Look, ladies, I need to return to the school. I have responsibilities and I have imposed on friends to cover for me long enough, it isn’t fair to my students either. Iris, why don’t you come with me and maybe Dee, uh Mother Nature, can advise you on what to do next. Anuenue, I don’t mind taking a detour via Oahu for you, though.”
“I appreciate that, Ina,” Anuenue replied, “but I am not convinced this is over. Whether Iris was the intended target of this attack or just the one who got caught, it does not matter. All who are rainbow deities are in peril. Any of us could have been trapped that way and if we simply walk away, I fear more of us will be. Cousin,” she said, turning toward Iris, “if you are willing, I will be happy to see this out with you.”
“Thank you, dear colleague,” Iris told her gratefully. “Ina, I’ll be happy to go with you to your school for now. Perhaps Demeter, or Mother Nature as she is once again, will grant me sanctuary.”
“Okay, let’s get my car and we can travel Between to Killington,” Ina told her. “Ratty… where did he go?”
“He wandered off a few minutes ago,” Anuenue replied. “Said he had a lot of work to do.”
“He probably didn’t want to stick around long enough for us to realize we hadn’t thanked him for his help yet,” Ina commented. “I don’t really dislike the little varmint, but he has trouble dealing with genuine compliments and heartfelt thanks. I’ll get him something nice next time I go shopping though. He really was helpful.”
“I agree that there does appear to be some form of divine activity that manifests by affecting rainbows,” Dee told them two hours later.
Ina, Iris and Anuenue had arrived on campus just as the last classes of the day were finishing and ran into a clump of students from one of Ina’s classes. “Doctor Loveall!” one of them called to her. “You’re back!”
“Ah, hello, Astra,” Ina greeted her. Astra, she knew, was actually an angel in mortal guise. She had chosen to major in Philosophy in her sophomore year, which had kept Jael hopping trying to fill her department with enough classes to cover such a major’s requirement. Ina sympathized since Astra had also chosen to minor in Religion. Given her nature and likely future job in Heaven, it was, perhaps, a practical decision on the angel’s part, but neither Ina nor Jael had expected to have such an enthusiastic student in their fields. It surprised them even more when her enthusiasm proved contagious and each department gained a handful of majors.
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re back!” Astra gushed. “I don’t think Doctor Meter is really very comfortable teaching your “Language, Cognition and Religion” class. She keeps telling us to read the next chapter in the book.”
“Well, it’s not really her field, is it?” Ina hedged, “but I’ll be in class tomorrow morning.”
“Oh good!” Astra enthused. “Excuse me, I just spotted Professor Musa and I need to talk to her this afternoon.”
“Go ahead, dear,” Ina encouraged her.
“You seem to be a popular teacher,” Iris noted.
“Astra is exceptional in a number of ways,” Ina laughed. “I suspect most of my students will groan when they hear I’m back. The only teacher with a reputation for being tougher than I am is Jael. Anyway, I see the light is on in Dee’s office. Let’s go.”
Isis, whose worship had, at one time, spread from out of Egypt to encompass most of the Roman world was just emerging from the Assistant Dean’s office. Isis had accepted Enki’s offer when he chose to develop Sherburne College and worked under the name Doctor I. Osiris. She was short with long, shiny black hair which she frequently wore in cornrows and tipped with gold beads and looked vaguely Middle Eastern in her facial features. “Ina!” she called. “I’m so glad you’re back! It was my turn to take your early class tomorrow. I’m really not comfortable teaching the “Rise of the Church” class.”
“Not my favorite either,” Ina admitted, “but it’s expected of a school with an accredited Department of Religious Studies. I thought Jael was covering that class.”
“Ina, she’s a demoness,” Isis laughed. “I honestly cannot imagine anyone less appropriate to teach that subject.”
“Given some of the schisms of Early Christianity,” Ina pointed out. “She might be the best one among us to teach the subject fairly.”
“Enki thought so when he was originally setting us up on the faculty,” Isis remarked.
“But unlike the rest of us, Jael really does have a doctorate from a mortal university and it is in Philosophy,” Ina countered. “It’s best for her to teach the subject she knows better than the rest of us. I’m sure I couldn’t. Anyway, you know Iris, I’m sure, but have you met Anuenue?” Isis greeted the other two goddesses and then chose to accompany them into the dean’s office.
“These, days, however,” Doctor Delores Meter told them, “it is all too common to find someone fiddling with the natural order of things, whether they are mortal or divine. Between bored gods and goddesses and inquisitive mortal scientists, someone is always doing something to distort my perceptions. I’m not really complaining about the latter sorts of interference, mind. The mortals can hardly be expected to clean up their act without learning more about the world itself, but I do have to be careful when conducting my own observations or else I am likely to get some very erroneous results of my own.
“However, I see no reason why you both cannot stay in Proctor Hall for as long as you like,” Dee continued. “Anyone behind this business with your rainbows will think twice before trying anything here. We have more deities here than any other place in the Mortal world, including our sister school in Brandon.”
“Thank you,” Iris replied. “I think it will be nice to be able to regroup and decide what to do and where to look next. Anuenue, are you sure you want to stick around? You have your own responsibilities.”
“Cousin,” Anuenue replied, “You and I are alike in many ways. I cannot just leave you to your own troubles. Besides, I like to see things through to their conclusions.”
“Cousin?” Dee asked. “I’m not aware of any traceable relationship between your two pantheons.”
“It’s a Hawaiian thing,” Anuenue replied. “Cousin or just Cuz for short is something we might call a friend and I do feel an affinity and a budding friendship with Iris.”
Isis volunteered to escort the two messenger goddesses to Proctor Hall explaining, “I have to speak to Jael anyway. May as well be now as in the morning.”
The sun was just setting as they arrived at the dormitory for Sherburne’s supernatural students. It was Rona who answered the RF’s suite door when they knocked, but Jael quickly took over when she spotted Anuenue, “You again?” she laughed. “Ah, I see you found Iris. Well come on in. Tea or coffee?”
“Dee would like you to find space here for Iris and Anuenue,” Isis told Jael after they had all had a chance to take a sip.
“I have an empty suite on the second floor,” Jael replied, “assuming you two don’t mind sharing the common room?”
“Not at all,” Iris replied.
“I was hoping for something like that,” Anuenue added.
“Good,” Jael nodded. “It was that or bunk you in with the students and I figure you might want to keep your own hours. So, Anuenue, catch me up on what you and Inanna did.” Anuenue and Iris both filled her in. “It’s tempting to join you on whatever the next step is,” Jael admitted when they were done.
“Oh no you don’t!” Rona warned her, suddenly manifesting fully as though trying to push Jael back into a corner. “We have to stay here for the same reasons Ina had to return.”
“I agree,” Jael replied from out of Rona’s lips. Rona slowly allowed Jael to completely take over once more. “My better half,” Jael laughed for the others’ benefit. “She’s right though. As tempting as it may be to jump into this and track down whoever trapped Iris in that mass spectrometer, I can’t do that right now. Maybe during the holiday break if you’re still searching, but not now and probably not until the end of the semester unless you have a world-class emergency.”
“I do not think this quite qualifies as that,” Isis opined. “At least, not yet.”
“No, but world-class emergencies do seem to crop up every few days,” Jael pointed out. “It’s what keeps cable news stations in business since they don’t seem to be capable of handling more than one or two stories at a time and even the end of the world would not hold their audience for more than a week.”
“My, my,” Isis laughed. “Aren’t you the skeptic?”
Jael shrugged. “It’s normally only a mortal saying that ‘there is a special place in Hell for’ whatever sort of person you are talking about, but in this case I can assure you there really is a special place. It’s a sub-department in Hoarding and Wasting. In the same Modern Sins Division as the department I used to run. There actually aren’t many there just yet, but it’s going to get very full if they don’t change their ways. Well, sorry about talking shop there.”
“It’s not our job anymore, Jael,” Rona reminded her.
“True,” Jael agreed. “Anyway, Iris and Anuenue are perfectly welcome here. I’ll see to it that they get their own passes to the cafeteria, but tomorrow morning they can use guest cards. Come on, Let’s find someone to show you to your rooms.”
She led them out into the dormitory’s common room and looked around. She spotted her protégée, Evrona playing chess with one of the underclassmen, but decided to leave her to her game. Two nymphs were just watching a sitcom on television, so she singled them out. “Mina, Nina, could you show our guests to Suite 205?”
“Why us?” Mina asked rebelliously.
“Because that’s a rerun,” Jael snapped. “You won’t miss much if you step away for a few minutes. The new season doesn’t start for a week or two.”
“I’ll do it,” Evrona volunteered. “It’s Hesta’s turn anyway and we’re in no hurry.”
“Uh uh, Sparrow,” Jael stopped her. “I assigned the Doublemint Twins here and they are going to do it. Then they are going to their suite and hit the books because I’ve already had two notes from their teachers that they were totally unprepared for class. How you two made it into your senior year, I will never understand. Now move it!” The nearly identical pair got out of their chairs sulkily and slowly led Iris and Anuenue toward the stairway. “Pick up the pace, girls,” Jael warned them.
“Jael,” Iris and Anuenue heard Isis say as they headed away, “I actually came over here on a different matter. Have you heard from Enki lately?”
“Not in a few weeks, but that’s not unusual,” Jael replied. “Have you tried asking Dee or Ninti?”
“I have,” Isis confirmed, “and they don’t know where he is either. I figured I should ask you since you’re his go-to girl for anything strange and unusual.”
“I am?” they heard Jael ask as they reached the top of the stairs and the sounds of the conversation faded out.
“Hi, Iris and Anuenue. Remember me? I’m Evrona, and this is Astra.”
“Hello,” Iris responded. “Yes, you’re Jael’s students aren’t you? Oh wait, I’ve heard of you, Evrona. Aren’t you the one who scratched Apollo’s face?”
“I’m afraid so,” Evrona admitted. “I tried to apologize later, but Jael wouldn’t let me.”
“Jael was right,” Iris told her. “You owe that one no apologies. Frankly, I’m surprised the Muses left him alive for the cycle, but maybe they’re nastier than I am. He is not being allowed to forget that incident. Well, maybe he will learn from this lesson.”
“If it is not to mess with an erinys, I’ll be satisfied,” Evrona replied. “I didn’t like doing what I had to, but I would again in that situation.”
“Good for you!” Iris aproved.
“So what are you two doing here in the library?” Evrona asked.
“We thought we might do some research. It’s been a while, but I think I still know my way around the old card files,” Iris told her confidently.
“What are card files?” Astra asked. Evrona looked similarly curious.
“No card files,” Iris commented to herself, but then explained. “It’s how you found the books you wanted last time I was in a mortal library. How do you look things up now?”
“There are several computers over there,” Evrona pointed to a table about ten feet away. “We look up where the books are on them. Come. We’ll be glad to show you how they work.”
They spent the next hour learning not only how to use the machines that had replaced card files, but then how to use the computers provided by the school for Internet access. Every student or faculty member at Sherburne had their own notebook computer, but sometimes one forgot to bring it with them, a guest might need access, or someone’s machine was just not working for some reason or else it was just more convenient to grab a machine if you had left your own on another floor. Both goddesses were lost at first as they encountered the screen and keyboard, but when Astra told them, “Just think of it as another form of communications,” they suddenly started to understand. Sometime later, when Evrona looked in on them, she noticed they were getting answers without using the keyboard or mouse.
When asked, Iris replied, “Part of how I got into trouble was by guiding e-mail messages through this Internet thing, but I never actually considered how a machine like this was involved.”
While they soon acclimated to computers and other modern contrivances, neither Iris nor Anuenue were able to learn anything that actually helped in their real investigation. It was over a week later that on, walking back from the library, however that they ran into Thalia, the Muse of Comedy who had been teaching at Sherburne under the name of Professor Themos. She invited them to join her in the Student Union building for a cup of coffee.
After they had told Thalia why they were there, she suggested, “Why don’t you come up to Brandon this weekend with the students? It’s the annual track and field competition. None of our supernatural students are allowed to compete, of course. Coach Terpsichore would hang them out to dry if they tried, but they do go to cheer for their mortal classmates and to also meet up with other supernaturals, friends they have made at Steven Douglass College.”
“I think I heard about that,” Iris commented. “What are the chances that two schools would start special programs for supernatural creatures in the same year and locate so close to each other?”
“There was some manipulation involved,” Thalia admitted. “Part of it was by my sisters and me, but we were manipulated too. That’s over, however, and we are having the times of our lives teaching here. Getting back to the weekend; even before we got here, the two schools had a series of athletic and academic events and this is the first of the school year.”
“It sounds interesting,” Anuenue admitted politely, “but I am not sure a distraction is what we need just now.”
“Oh, I did not mean that you would be up there for the running and jumping,” Thalia explained, “although a little time off, now and then, does us all good. What I was trying to explain is that Athena is the dean up there. Maybe she can help you.”
“It’s worth a shot,” Iris nodded. “We don’t seem to be making any progress here.”
“Just talk to Jael, then,” Thalia told them. “She’s chaperoning this weekend. I tell you, no one rides herd on a bunch of young gods and goddesses better. Had she been around back in the old days at least half the myths would have never happened. Heh…”
“What?” Iris asked.
“I am pretty sure she would have made Zeus get a vasectomy,” Thalia chuckled grimly. “At least I hope that would have been her solution. Don’t let her easy and flirtatious manner fool you. She’s one tough and serious woman when she has to be. The frost giants call her ‘The Destroyer,’ and fear her like they never did Thor, but I hear some of the Asian deities refer to her as ‘Celestial.’ I know I wouldn’t want to cross her again, but if she’s on your side, you have an ally like no other.”
As they walked back toward Proctor Hall, Anuenue remarked, “You know, for a goddess of comedy, Thalia seems like a very serious person. I would have expected her to be making a lot of jokes, but except for Jael’s possible solution for Zeus…”
“Comedy is serious business,” Iris shrugged.
The next morning they boarded the bus with Jael and her students and rode through Rutland and then northward to Brandon, Vermont. The students were excited and their emotion contagious so when they started singing, Anuenue joined in as best she could while one of the sophomores, a young Sylphid from Austria named Emmalin, chatted with Iris about a possible career in communications. Once they were on the Douglass campus, however, all the students rushed to the athletic field while Iris and Anuenue sought out the Dean’s office.
They were disappointed to discover the Administration Building was closed, however. “Now what?” Anuenue asked, as they sat down on the marble-treaded front steps.
“I should have called ahead,” Iris admitted. “Come to think about it, I ought to have acquired a cell phone. I’ve been running around Earth long enough. What was I thinking?”
“You haven’t been here long enough to fully realize that the mortals have surpassed many of us and in many ways,” a woman’s voice told her. They looked up to see a woman approaching them. She was wearing a black track suit with an owl embroidered in gold thread on its left breast. “It’s a new world out here and especially new in this current cycle. Iris, I heard you had left Olympus and hoped you might come for a visit, but I must say I expected you weeks ago.”
“I got held up,” Iris admitted and went on to introduce Anuenue and explain all they had been through.
“Well, I must say I am surprised Mother Nature was unable to help you two,” Athena replied at last. “This sort of thing is her specialty, after all.”
“She may be too close to the matter,” Anuenue pointed out.
“…and there are too many dieties, and mortal it turns out, who manipulate light and the rainbows refracted from it,” Iris added. “It gets in the way of her perceptions and I suppose it’s hard to differentiate one use of a rainbow from another.”
“Perhaps,” Athena acknowledged. “That’s not something I have had the opportunity to consider before. I have no special affinity for rainbows or most of nature for that matter, but perhaps, I can help you find some direction in your search. Let’s go inside.” She pulled out a key and unlocked the main door of the Administration Building.
“Now,” Athena continued a few minutes later, once they were comfortably ensconced in her office, “if I were in your situation, I would examine other rainbow-associated gods, goddesses and spirits and see if one of them has a grudge against one or both of you.”
“We just met each other a little over a week ago,” Anuenue told her. “Who could possibly have a grudge against both of us?”
“It might not be directed at you personally,” Athena pointed out, “and it might not be a grudge, I suppose. It might just be someone trying to build up a monopoly on rainbow powers, whatever those are. Oh… I hope rainbow powers aren’t like those horridly saccharine cartoons for little girls. That would make me queasy to say the least. What powers do you get from rainbows, anyway?”
“Anuenue and I just travel on them,” Iris replied. “Some deities use them as a weapon to shoot arrows and they also feature as bridges between Earth and Heaven.”
“The weapon aspect might apply,” Athena considered. “I don’t know if travelling is related. It could be, of course. We just do not know enough, but if it were me, I’d bet on the offensive aspects of rainbows.”
“You’re a goddess of war,” Iris pointed out. “You think that way naturally.”
“Perhaps,” Athena shrugged, “but whatever the motive of whoever is behind this, this is like a war and you need a strategy. If you cannot find someone with a grudge, whether it is personal or not, you might consider who among all the rainbow-related deities has a technological bent. That whole business with the mass spectrometer and your mystery woman. Sounds like one of us is a little too comfortable in the modern world. Also think about this; what might be gained by trapping you and maybe other rainbow-related deities.”
“I cannot imagine what might be gained from monopolizing the rainbows,” Iris admitted. “Anuenue and I travel on them, but that doesn’t affect anyone else’s ussage.”
“There is power and tactical superiority in any monopoly,” Athena assured her. “The key is to seeing it from another’s point of view. But if they are not trying to corner the market on colored lights, my guess is that someone must really have it in for you.”
“We’ve already spoken to some rainbow deities,” Anuenue remarked, “but perhaps we need to expand our search. Is your school’s library open today and might we have guest access to your computers. We have a list of such deities stored in something the students called ‘The Cloud.’”
“You may,” Athena told her, “but why not use the one here in my office. I don’t charge for printouts, if you need them.”
Iris and Anuenue spent the rest of the day in Athena’s office and by the time they were done, they had a stack of paper in a manila file folder and a direction in which to go next. They spent another hour finding Jael and explaining they would be leaving from Brandon.
“What’s your itinerary?” Jael asked.
“Why?” Iris countered.
“Not too long ago you got trapped in someone’s mass spectrometer,” Jael pointed out, “and Anuenue washed up on one of Yggdrasil’s branches. We both know you’re going to be a lot more careful, but just in case, don’t you think it might be a good idea if a friend knew where you were headed? It would give the rest of us something to go on if you disappear again.”
Iris admitted that was a good idea and told Jael their plans. The demoness nodded in a businesslike fashion and assured them she would remember the list without all their print-outs. “One more thing,” Jael added at last. “I think you should avoid traveling by rainbows, if you can. That’s how you got caught in the first place. We all have other means of travel. Use them.”
Iris nodded and a few minutes later she and Anuenue were back on the branches of the great World Tree.
Indra drew back on his multi-colored bow, his two golden arms visibly straining as he drew the bright white arrow back to his ear. Then he let fly and a bolt of lightning shot forth and struck a large tree several miles away on the next mountain. “Like that!” he told his guests, grinning.
They had met Lord Indra on the slopes of Mount Meu, where he had been lounging in his palace, drinking soma. He had hospitably offered some to Iris and Anuenue, but Iris politely turned him down, “Too early in the day for me, I’m afraid.” When they had asked about his use of a rainbow, Indra had chosen to demonstrate rather than simply explain.
“I see,” Iris nodded. “Have you been having anything unusual happen with your bow lately?”
“No,” Indra replied after some thought, “but while some call the rainbow, the ‘Bow of Indra,’, it is not my primary weapon. More often I prefer to use my vajra.”
“Your what?” Anuenue asked.
Indra held up a small, but heavy golden club with a ribbed head on which the sharp points spread out slightly at the end. Then he shifted his grip and they could see that similar ribs on the other end formed a sphere and joined to form a ball-like end. “This is both my lightning and my indestructibility,” he explained, pointing the vajra in the same direction as he had shot the arrow and sending a second bolt of lightning at what was left of the tree. “What sort of usual happenings should I have experienced?”
“Hard to say,” Iris admitted. “My colleague and I ride rainbows as a means by which to convey messages. Lately, those rainbows have been harder to control than usual.” She was about to go into the full story, but quickly reminded herself that while this god’s use of rainbows seemed entirely different than what she had encountered regarding the mass spectrometer, not to mention that the person she saw in the lab was female, it would be foolhardy to spread the story any further than necessary.
“Hmm,” Indra considered. “The bow is most useful to me during the monsoon season which ended last month. Even then, I use my vajra more often, so I am probably not the right one to ask about strangeness in rainbows. Have you spoken to Quzah yet?”
“I have,” Anuenue replied, “but he hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary either.”
“One cannot be shooting a bow all the time,”
Indra commented. “It is something we do at need, but it does not take long to
loose an arrow. You might do better to consult those who, like you, use
rainbows longer than just momentarily. There are those who wear rainbows, also
like you, or who actually are rainbows.”
“I was looking for a rainbow snake with an ox’s head in Estonia,” Anuenue admitted, “but never found him or her.”
“You might try the area of the Divine Plain reserved to the Australian deities,” Indra suggested. “I understand it is called the Dreamtime and their creator deity is the Rainbow Serpent, Ngalyod, although he has many other names.”
“Thank you,” Iris told him. “We’ll check there next.”
A few minutes later, as they once more traveled through Yggdrasil’s branches, Anuenue told Iris, “I know you were trying not to, but you may have said more than was prudent back there.”
“I know,” Iris agreed. “I am very discrete when carrying messages for others, but otherwise I tend to be too open and trusting. Still, we cannot just ask questions but refuse to answer any like that TV show detective we watched the other night. Those we want to talk to could well get suspicious if we behave that way and we cannot compel anyone to answer us, so we need to give a little to get a little.”
“Hey, babes!” Ratatosk hailed them. “How’s the search going?”
“Just barely started,” Iris admitted and explained what they had learned from Indra.
“I think he was right,” Ratatosk admitted in a rare moment of seriousness. “Someone using the bow as a weapon is less likely to have noticed the disturbances you have, but I also have to agree that as a weapon, the rainbow is most potent. Maybe I know someone who might help and, just your luck, I happen to be headed his way right now. Actually, I’m looking for Enki on Ninti’s behalf, but if he’s at home he’ll be completely incommunicado to the rest of the worlds while there.”
“We heard he was missing,” Iris commented, “but shouldn’t have someone checked Dilmun before this?”
“I’m sure someone has,” Ratatosk admitted, “but the old water god moves around almost as much as I do and Ninti thought he might have stopped back in at his home in Dilmun since she had checked for herself. I move faster than she does, so I got elected to check. Come on.”
“I had not heard that Enki has associations with rainbows,” Iris told him.
“He doesn’t that I know of, chica,” Ratatosk replied as they started walking briskly outward and then down a fork in the branch, “but Ninurta does and he’s the one I had in mind for you.”
“Who is Ninurta?” Anuenue asked.
“The god of the Stormy South Wind,” Ratatosk told them. “Actually he’s a sort of cousin to you, Iris. He is also a god of wells, canals, fertile fields and healthy livestock. Probably a left-handed early aspect of yours that never merged because of gender differences.”
“My primary function is as a messenger,” Iris pointed out. “My associations with sea and sky and with the fertility of the fields are secondary, but you may be right. It can be hard to tell and we do not always remember our earlier aspects if the changes have been too great. I have never been to Dilmun, though. How far do we have to go along this branch?”
“Just another few steps,” Ratatosk told her. “In fact, we are here. The entrance to that world is a special case, having been specially made by grafting two aspects of Yggdrasil. See the strange leaves here? Not Ash leaves at all, are they?”
“No, that looks more like a boxwood,” Iris guessed.
“Maybe,” the squirrel shrugged. “I’m not really a botanist. Okay, Take a deep breath and hold it.”
They took a step forward and were suddenly on a gravel path deep beneath the sea. It was well-lit, although there was no visible source of the light and the godesses followed Ratatosk as he walked down the path. After a minute the squirrel turned around and saw the two were still holding their breath, but looking panicked. He laughed uproariously.
“What’s so funny?” Iris demanded and then threw her hands up to her mouth to keep herself from wasting any more air while they were still under water.
“You are!” Ratatosk laughed. “You don’t really think you have to hold your breath, do you?”
Anuenue, tried, experimentally, to breathe and discovered she was breathing air in spite of the submarine environment. “He’s right, cuz,” she told Iris. “We can breathe here. Ratty, that was not funny!”
That only set the squirrel off in more paroxysms of laughter. “This one always did have a sick sense of humor,” Iris told Anuenue, trying to catch her breath. She glared at Ratatosk momentarily and then continued down the path past him as though trying to leave him behind. If that had been her intention, it failed. Ratatosk scampered past her and continued to lead the way until they reached a fork in the path.
“I’m going up that way,” he told them. “It’s the way to Enki’s ziggurat. The rest of Dilmun is that way. You go ahead and find Ninurta. I’ll catch up to you. Try not to bump into any of the fish that swim across the path.” With that he ran down the other path and out of sight.
“What happens if we touch the fish?” Anuenue wondered.
“It probably scares them,” Iris told her. “I’ve heard about this pathway even though I have never been here before. Just stay on the path where it feels dry and comfortable. Outside it’s both wet and the pressure will crush us like bugs.”
A few minutes later the two goddesses reached the beach and walked confidently along the path as it continued inland. Dilmun was not as heavily populated as some parts of the Divine Plain. Many of the deities had merged with later related aspects and some others had given up hope after millennia of isolation and passed on to wherever defunct deities went when they expired. However, they found a pair of minor female Anunnaki sitting comfortably in a garden and asked directions. Another short time later they were outside a large stadium built out of bitumen-enhanced mud bricks which had then been coated with white plaster which kept the petroleum stink of the bitumen down to a minimum.
“I guess this is Dilmun Field,” Iris remarked. “It is where the Lamassu play baseball.”
“That’s the team composed of the Mesopotamian gods?” Anuenue asked.
“I hope so,” Iris laughed. “A lamassu is a giant lizard-dog sort of thing. They could probably play fetch well enough, but batting is beyond them. Baseball season is over though. I’m surprised we were sent here.”
“The Green Sox of the Pacific basin have a game in Japan next week,” Anuenue informed her. “It’s just an exhibition game, but I know our players are still holding practices. “Do the Lamassu have any off-season games ahead?”
“I don’t know,” Iris admitted, “but they might or maybe they use this field for other purposes. We won’t find out from here.”
They walked into the stadium and found themselves in the seats along the first base line. Whoever the groundskeepers were, they were continuing to do their jobs. Fresh powdered limestone had been laid out to mark the baselines and the batters’ boxes and the grass in the field had been neatly cut. A group of sixteen men and women appeared to be playing baseball even though each team was shy one player.
“Why is the grass sparkling like that?” Anuenue asked.
“The Celestial League needs a tougher surface to play on than mortal teams use,” Iris explained. “So a number of nature gods and goddesses collaborated to produce this stuff. It grows naturally and divots fill in overnight. It chokes out any weed and yet is easy to confine only to those areas you want it to grow in.”
“But what are all those white sparkles in among the green grass?”
“Oh that,” Iris chuckled. “It was a minor misunderstanding. You see they had heard that some teams play on a synthetic surface called ‘Astroturf’ and, well, you can see how one thing led to another.”
“The last time I was in Japan, I did get to see the stadium the deities were building for themselves,” Anuenue remarked. “It was very different from this one. The main gate was like a shrine and the stands were made of bamboo and wood, not… what is this? Mud brick?”
“The actual seats are wooden,” Iris pointed out.
“What are you two doing up there?” someone shouted from down on the field.
“We’re looking for…” Iris began, but the man cut her off.
“Well, get on down here! We need two more players.”
Iris and Anuenue glanced at each other, hoping for a cue. “They’re going to say I throw like a girl, aren’t they?” Iris asked.
“You are a girl,” Anuenue replied, grinning. “Well, what the heck. We’re not in so much of a rush that we don’t have time for a game.”
“This should be fun to watch,” Ratatosk snickered as he fell in step behind them.
“Ratty? When did you get here?” Iris asked.
“Enki wasn’t in, so I came here to see how you were doing,” Ratatosk explained. “Can’t wait to see you two trying to hit a ball.”
“Would you like to play, Ratty?” Anuenue asked.
“I would,” Ratatosk admitted, “but I don’t meet the league’s physical standards. You have to at least be humanoid. I doubt I could handle the bat either, but you two can.”
“Hi,” the man who had called them down to the field greeted them once they reached ground level. “I’m Gilgamesh.” He eyed the two goddesses up and down but aside from the eye movement, he made no other sexist moves nor did he sound like he was making innuendos when he asked, “So do you know how to play?”
“I’ve been to a few games in Olympus,” Iris admitted.
“Not yet,” Anuenue admitted.
“Well, don’t worry about it,” Gilgamesh assured them. “This is not a serious game. We are just having fun today. Our manager is not in Dilmun at the moment, so we just do this some days to stay in shape. Hey, Marduk! We have two more. You get your choice.”
Another large, black-haired man strode over and spotted, Iris. “I recognize you, Iris. What brings you to Dilmun?”
“We’re actually looking for Ninurta,” Iris informed him.
“Then you’re in luck!” Marduk laughed. “He’s on my team, and we could use another outfielder. With your speed it should be right up your alley.”
“Anuenue is probably as fast as I am,” Iris admitted.
“Good!” Gilgamesh laughed. “We need someone in center field. Play ball!”
The gods of ancient Mesopotamia were patient with the newcomers, sometimes holding up the game to give them pointers on how to play. Neither Iris nor Anuenue understood at first, the concept of cutting off the baserunner when the ball came their way, but after they understood the point was to keep the ball in front of where the runner was headed, their only failing was in not being able to hit the ball even when Isimud, the two-faced messenger god who was pitching, took pity on Iris and lobbed the balls in across the plate and called them “Grapefruits.”
It was not until the bottom of the seventh inning, with only one runner on base that Anuenue managed a bloop single into shallow right field. She was at first base before the ball actually hit the ground and had to be held back from continuing on to second as the other runner, Ashnan, a goddess of the grain did not have Anuenue’s speed and was still on her way to the base. Both goddesses were stranded on base, however, when Nabu struck out. “That’s it for today.” Gilgamesh called out. “Good game!”
“But it was a tie,” Iris pointed out,” and I thought games ran for nine innings.”
“I said it was just for fun,” Gilgamesh explained with a laugh. “Besides, Hawk keeps us to seven inning scrimmage games all the time. Did you have a chance to chat with Ninurta yet?”
“I forgot all about it,” Iris admitted.
“Well, let’s all go hit the showers and get cleaned up and you can talk over dinner,” Gilgamesh told her. “Hey, Ninurta! Did you know these two ladies came to meet you?”
To Iris’s surprise the showers were co-ed in nature although none of the gods from Mesopotamia seemed to see anything unusual about that nor did they seem all that interested in each other’s bodies, although from the stories, they were as randy a lot as her own Olympians were. She noticed that Anuenue was taking it all in stride even though she understood that in many activities the ancient kapus kept men and women from mixing. Perhaps, she thought to herself, bathing is not one of those activities or else she’s just going with the local mores. So Iris decided to do so as well and only discovered later that Anuenue had been using her as a guide to behavior.
After the showers, the gods all left the stadium and made their way to a wide parklike area where someone had started a campfire and there were pots of beer, each with two straws, strategically placed by stone benches and grassy hillocks allowing the gods to relax as they saw fit. “You were looking for me?” Ninurta asked on sitting down next to Iris and Anuenue. Some of the gods had put their team caps back on after the showers. But Ninurta had donned a hat that had been fashioned out of a rainbow and was wearing that now. It glowed brightly in the darkening light of early evening.
“We were, yes,” Iris told him and went on to describe their story.
“I had not thought of it as interference with my rainbow crown,” Ninurta told them, “but a few weeks ago it did feel a bit funny on my head. It was vibrating a bit and I took it off for a few hours. Normally, you see, it feels like a part of me and I wear it nearly all the time, but at the time it was a bit uncomfortable. That used to happen from time to time when we were traveling, so I generally leave the crown at home when leaving Dilmun, unless it’s a formal occasion.”
“Why do you think it feels uncomfortable away from home?” Anuenue asked.
“The rainbows resonate together,” Ninurta explained. “You must understand that, right? When you are wearing one on your head it can give you a headache and there are all manners of deities who use rainbows in various ways. Walking on a rainbow you might notice the vibration or not, but if you are wearing it….”
“I wear my rainbow,” Anuenue pointed out, “and have never had that trouble.”
“Perhaps yours is better behaved,” Ninurta shrugged, “or maybe there are differences I am not aware of. The thing is, I do not normally experience such vibrations when here in Dilmun. We are cut off from the rest of the Divine Plain although Enki informs me that there are modern cults who had taken to worshipping us which is why we were able to graft a passage to Yggdrasil. It is possible our world will reopen fully some day.”
“And then you might feel those vibrations more frequently,” Iris suggested.
“Maybe,” Ninurta shrugged again, “but you two seem to be looking at rainbows in all their aspects. This is something I, too, have contemplated from time to time.”
“And what have you come up with?” Anuenue asked.
“I have concluded that in many, if not nearly all cases, the rainbow is a conveyance mechanism,” Ninurta replied. “A god or goddess might use the bow to travel at the speed of the wind as the ancients might have said. In the modern world they would say it is at the speed of light, which I have come to understand is much faster.”
“But some gods, like Indra and Quzah, use the rainbow as a weapon,” Iris argued.
“It is still a conveyance mechanism,” Ninurta asserted. “It doesn’t matter if you are using the bow to shoot an arrow or a lightning bolt or just yourself. You are using the bow to send something or someone at a very high velocity.”
“What about the leprechaun’s pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?” Iris countered.
“The rainbow is still the fastest, most direct path to the gold,” Ninurta replied. “It might be the easiest way to get past the leprechaun as well, considering he is likely to be defending that pot from mortals who would be unable to use travel along a rainbow without help.”
“Not all people see the rainbows as something good and beautiful though,” Anuenue added.
“That does not affect the nature of the bow itself,” Ninurta told her. “That depends on what supernatural beings are using it and why. Perhaps you need to consult a deity who is eben more closely associated with rainbows than I am. There are deities of the Dreamtime whose very bodies are rainbows. Why don’t you consult with Ngalyod, the Creator also known as the Rainbow Serpent?”
“Thank you, Ninurta,” Anuenue told him, adding a kiss on his cheek. “We will do that. And thank you for your insights on rainbows. They were… uh… very enlightening.”
Ninurta grinned at the pun and Iris recalled that so many early Mesopotamian myths were written as through giftwrapped in word play of just that sort. Anuenue had said exactly the right thing.
“This is a desert?” Anuenue asked.
“This part seems to be,” Iris observed, “but I imagine there is plenty of water if you know where and how to look. I see the sun is just rising here, or is it setting?”
“This is the Dreamtime,” Ratatosk told them both. “It contains everything that needs to be here, which is the divine aspect of all Australia, and I think the sun is coming up. Now if you turn around…”
“What is that?” Anuenue asked, having already looked behind. Iris spun around to see a tremendous rust red rock sticking up out of the desert scrub of the relatively flat area around it. “Is that a butte?”
“It’s pretty enough,” Iris replied. “Oh sorry. That was unintentional.”
“Even I wouldn’t have said that,” Ratatosk told them, “but actually that is the divine Uluru. Geologically it is an inselberg, a prominent, but isolated hill that rises abruptly from a flat desert terrain.”
“I would have called it a monolith,” Iris commented.
“That too,” Ratatosk agreed. “Anyway that is the supremely holy place to the locals in the Mortal world, but then every tribe has its own holy places. This is the one most well-known to mortals, though.”
“So you have been here before?” Iris asked.
“Several times with the Dilmun team,” Ratatosk admitted. “There’s a ballpark on the other side of Uluru.”
“Are we going to have to play another game?” Anuenue asked.
“Not too likely,” the squirrel replied. “You’re looking for Ngalyod. He may be the creator here, but he’s even worse at the game than I am. Remember, we’re looking for a snake.”
“G’day, mates!” a voice called from overhead. They looked up to see a small kangaroo flying overhead.
“There’s a first,” Ratatosk commented.
“What? A flying roo?” the creature countered as it continued to circle overhead, “We’re a dime a dozen in these parts.”
“No, I meant the Crocodile Dundee accent,” Ratatosk countered. “Not the usual lingo I hear when in the Dreamtime.”
“We speak as we are expected to by the mortals, Cobber.”
“You don’t hear me trying to sound like Sven the Friendly Viking do you?” Ratatosk called back. As he did so, Iris noticed a faint Scandinavian lilt in his voice and had to stifle a laugh. “What’s so funny?” he demanded.
“Oh, nothing,” Iris lied, “except perhaps the whole concept of a squirrel getting into a fight with a wallaby. Very Aesopian.”
“Better than the two of us walking into a bar, I suppose,” Ratatosk replied a little too late.
“Excuse me,” Anuenue called up to the flying marsupial, “but do you know where we might find Ngalyod?”
“Like he would know,” Ratatosk grumped.
“Now why can’t you be like the shiela, mate?” the wallaby asked. “She knows how to ask for a favor.” He settled down beside Anuenue and answered, “You’ll find the Great Rainbow Serpent, by whatever name you use for him, at the entrance to Uluru. That is, if he hasn’t gone walkabout.”
“Walkabout?” Anuenue asked.
“Well, among the native mortals, it is a time in which they visit the Outback which is a reflection of this place, but in this case I merely meant that He may have gone to one of His other holy places. There are many tribes who venerate us and in many ways and we cannot be everywhere at once. However, Uluru is the place to start.”
“Mahalo nui loa,” Anuenue replied.
“A’ole pilikia,” the wallaby replied. Then he hopped back into the sky and flew away.
“What gets me is how that thing can fly without wings,” Ratatosk commented.
“What makes you think that you cannot?” Anuenue countered as they started walking toward the great monolith of Uluru.
“Do I look like my name is Rocket J. Squirrel?” Ratatosk shot back. “I’m far better drawn, at least.”
“And the deer in your tree would never be your sidekicks,” Iris pointed out.
“I don’t understand,” Anuenue admitted and Iris spent the next few minutes explaining about cartoon characters both in general and specific. Suddenly they were nearly at the base of Uluru.
“That was fast,” Iris remarked.
“Distances, like everything else in the Dreamtime, are somewhat flexible,” Ratatosk informed them. “You arrive in the time you think you should. In this case it helps not to think too hard about it. Faster that way.”
“Not thinking moves us faster?” Iris asked. “You must just zip around then.”
“Very funny,” Ratatosk replied flatly. “Oh oh, here’s our next speed bump.”
A large lizard sat in the brightening sun, apparently just soaking up the heat, but it was also blocking their way. “What do we do now?” Iris asked.
“Hey, lounge lizard,” Ratatosk cracked wise, “wanna move a foot or two one side or the other?” The lizard narrowed its eyes at the squirrel, but otherwise paid no attention, but Anuenue remembered their encounter with the flying wallaby.
“Aloha,” she greeted the lizard, “I am Anuenue. What’s your name?”
“I am Adnoartina,” the lizard replied. “I guard the entrance to Uluru.”
“May we pass, please?”
“You may pass,” Adnoartina replied with a nod toward both Iris and Anuenue, “not him.”
“Why not?” Ratatosk demanded.
“I am hungry,” Adnoartina replied.
“I’ll catch up to you two later,” the squirrel promised and abruptly vanished.
“You would not really have eaten him, would you?” Iris asked.
“Probably not,” the great lizard admitted. “I was not really answering his question, but I am hungry. I might, instead, have invited him to dine with me. Now he will never know.” He got out of the way and the two goddesses began their climb to the top of Uluru.
The climb turned out to be much longer than their walk to the base of the rock had been, but the path up the sandstone face was well-used and easy to follow. The sun was high overhear by the time they reached the top where they found a wide pool of water which, to Iris’ eyes should have been baked to dust in the desert sun and yet this place was warm and comfortably humid. Iris looked into the pool and spotted a tremendous water snake. Then she corrected her first appraisal. While it had the body of a snake, it had a crocodilian tail and the head of a kangaroo. The body itself, while it appeared to have all the colors of a rainbow, was cover with water lilies and other plantlike tendrils that seemed to move independent of the serpent’s motion.
“And I think we may have found our rainbow serpent,” Iris told her friend. As she spoke the immense snake came to the surface of the pond and raised its incongruous kangaroo head up- and out of the water. “Good morning,” Iris greeted the snake. “Do I have the honor of addressing Ngalyod?”
“You do not,” the serpent replied in a high whispering voice, “at least not today. I have many names; Almudj, Ngalyod, Goorialla, Kajura, Dhakkan, Taipan, Borlun, Myndie, Wagyl and many more. Each name describes a different one of my aspects, but today I am Yingarna, mother of Ngalyod.”
“You are both Ngalyod and his mother?” Iris asked.
“This is possible within the Dreamtime,” Yingarna replied, “but when I am Yingarna I am not Ngalyod. I can only be one at a time. At this time I am Yingarna. I am protector and punisher. I bring the rains and withhold them. I am the lightning, I am the storm and I am the rainbow.”
That one would be hard to ride, Iris kept the thought to herself. “We wish to speak to you about the rainbows,” she said, instead. When Yingarna remained silent, Iris continued, “In other parts of the Divine Plain and in the Mortal World we have been experiencing some, uh, unusual problems concerning the rainbows.” More silence. “We believe that someone is, well, doing something. We are not sure if they are doing something with rainbows or doing something to them, but the result has been that the rainbows many of us use as a matter of course are behaving differently.”
“Differently?” Yingarna asked at last.
“Eratically,” Iris amplified and then she realized exactly what had felt different although until now she had not been able to express it in words. “It is as though they are trying to do two things at once.”
“The rainbows have been excited,” Anuenue added. “Sometimes, when I travel, they gather around me as though they need to be protected. Comforted. As though they have been hurt.”
“I have visited places beyond the Dreaming,” Yingarna replied. “With the exception of beings like me, rainbows are not living creatures. They do not feel and think. They are merely a manifestation of light with certain divine attributes that make them useful. If, however, it helps you to think of them as having emotions, then perhaps this is a reflection of those few living rainbows on the rest.”
“But,” Iris interrupted, “have you been able to detect any such unusual activities?”
“I have felt tugs on my body recently,” Yingarna admitted. “This is most extraordinary to me as the beings of the Dreamtime ask of me. They do not attempt to take. However, whatever it was, whoever it was… they were far away.”
“Some of that might have been my doing,” Iris admitted and explained how she tried to call for help from inside the mass spectrometer.
“Yes,” Yingarna nodded, “I recognize you by the way you feel to me, but there was someone else for the last year or more, leading up to those calls of yours.”
“Who?” Iris asked.
“I am hardly omniscient,” Yingarna pointed out, but the feeling I get is that whoever it was has the same affinity and use for rainbows that you do.”
“Anuenue?” Iris asked, looking at the Hawaiian goddess for the first time with the seeds of distrust.
“No,” Yingarna whispered in her high, breathy voice. “Whoever it is, they are far more closely related to you. Someone else in your pantheon, would be my guess or else in one that is closely related. Is there anyone else you know who carries messages via rainbow?”
“Hermes!” Iris snarled. “No wonder Inanna was unable to find him.”
“Does he have a reason to hate you?” Anuenue asked.
“I would not have thought so,” Iris replied, “not up until now, but he is Jove’s messenger, just as I serve Juno. This could be related to some machination of Jove’s for all we know and if it is, I intend to wring the truth out of Hermes if I have to do it with my bare hands around his neck!”
“That mangy tree-rat is never around when you actually need him, is he?” Iris grumbled as she and Anuenue wandered through the branches of Yggdrasil. On leaving the Dreamtime, Iris and Anuenue had travelled to Olympus to see if anyone had seen Zeus’ herald and had ended up reporting to Juno.
“I have not seen Hermes in…” Juno paused to consider, “well, to be honest, I don’t recall how long it has been since I saw him. Of course, I have not seen my husband lately either. He’s been out on some mysterious business of his, although if you ask me the old goat is just fooling around with another nymph. That sort of thing used to bother me, but these days I realize I am better off without his attentions. I do pity whatever nymph he’s chasing after. Of course, Hermes rarely needs to report to me. Have you asked anyone else?”
“We spoke to Vesta on our way here and ran into Hecate chatting with the Horae just outside,” Iris reported. “None of them know where Hermes might be. I would have asked Ares, but I heard he was helping Pluto out in Tartarus.”
“He’s been and gone from there,” Juno informed her. “Whatever was happening down there just suddenly stopped about the time he arrived. So he decided to visit a Mortal World tavern for the night, but managed to get a job instead.”
“A job?” Iris asked.
“Yes,” Juno nodded, “He found a position as a commandant for a university ROTC in someplace called Florida. Did I pronounce that correctly?”
“I believe so,” Iris agreed.
“What is an ROTC?” Juno asked.
“A program by which students can help fund their college educations while training to be a military officer, or so I have been told,” Iris replied. “Sounds like Ares may have found a place, although if I were a betting woman, I would wager Ares will be in charge of the whole program in just a few years.”
“Would that be a bad thing?” Juno asked.
“Probably not,” Iris admitted. “I envy him. I was still looking for my place when I got trapped.”
“Are you sure Hermes was involved?” Juno asked. “We know his association with thieves, but you and he have usually been colleagues, not competitors.”
“He is currently the most obvious candidate,” Iris replied, “and if he was not involved, he might be at risk. Either way I need to find him.”
“So where do you plan to look now?” Juno asked.
“I am not sure.”
“Hermes is the messenger of Jove or Zeus?” Anuenue asked. “Is that correct?” Iris and Juno nodded in unison. “Then perhaps we should look for Zeus. We messengers are only doing our jobs when we are moving about, but the ones we work for do not move around as much.”
“That does not mean we are lazy,” Juno pointed out.
“Of course not,” Anuenue agreed easily, “but the point of having a messenger or herald is so that you will not be distracted by having to deliver your own messages in person. Not to mention the fact that the more sedentary you are, the easier it is for us to do our work which, in turn, means you accomplish more as well.”
“Well reasoned,” Juno admitted, “but as I said, I really do not know what the old goat is up to.”
“Maybe Ratatosk has seen him,” Iris conjectured, “or failing that, he may well have seen Hermes. He travels via the Tree more frequently than I do. That being the case, we must be off again.”
“Good luck,” Juno told them, “and be careful out there. It sounds like whoever is behind this is as nasty as they come.”
“I understand the value of a good team,” Iris assured her, “and once I know what we are facing, I’ll put the right one together.”
Once on the World Tree, Iris and Anuenue had expected to find Ratatosk in short order, but the squirrel was no one in sight. They spent the rest of the day and night going from one place to another, gradually making their way higher and higher in the Tree. An hour after dawn, the two goddesses decided to take a break and consider another means for finding him.
“I know there are other creatures in this Tree,” Anuenue pointed out to Iris. “I saw some of them on my first visit.”
“There are,” Iris agreed, “and most are more helpful than Ratatosk.”
“I thought the squirrel was being very helpful,” Anuenue opined. “Yes, he is a troublemaker, lewd and crude, and gruff, but underneath that brash, uncaring face he puts on, I think he longs to be the good guy.”
“Very deep beneath that furry face,” Iris shook her head, “but I will admit he has been helpful. That is why we are here looking for him. Oh all right. Let’s see if we can find another resident of the Tree. There is an eagle and a hawk up at the very top, but we are only halfway there. We can move outward, instead, and try to find one of the deer who represent the four winds. I think we are closer to the end of this branch than the trunk, but there’s no guarantee there will be anyone in sight when we get there.”
They headed out toward the end of the branch, but a few minutes later encountered two women coming from the other way. Both women had long blond hair wore dark, full-length dresses, one of which was blue and the other green.
“Well this is quite unusual,” the one in green remarked. “I do not recall ever running into others here in the Tree since the end of the last cycle besides the various guardians, of course. Greetings strangers, I am Var and this is Gersemi. We’re on our way to Asgard. Where are you heading?”
“I’m not sure,” Iris admitted after introducing herself and Anuenue. “We came looking for Ratatosk.”
Var wrinkled her nose at the sound of the squirrel’s name and Gersemi added, “Eew!”
“I hear you,” Iris agreed, “but I suppose he has been helpful to us recently. Do you know where he might be?”
“I do not,” Var shook her head, “but you might ask Dainn. He is grazing near the end of this branch.”
“Thank you,” Iris replied.
“Mahalo,” Anuenue added.
“It is nothing,” Var replied. “I hope you find what you are looking for.”
“I’m looking for a flea-infested bundle of rudeness,” Iris shrugged. “Let’s just say I’m feeling conflicted about any possible outcome.” The other two women laughed and waved as they continued toward the trunk.
When Iris and Anuenue reached the end of the branch, however, there was no one around to be seen. “And I thought the squirrel was hard to find,” Iris shook her head. “I wonder where we are, relative to the Mortal World, that is.”
“Somewhere in Scandinavia?” Anuenue guessed.
“What makes you say that?” Iris asked.
“Var and Gersemi were Norse deities, weren’t they?” Anuenue pointed out.
“For all we know they are just getting back from a weekend on the Riviera,” Iris replied. “Where is that deer. The problem with being the embodiment of the wind is that he is able to move like the wind too. He could be anywhere.”
“Like two branches up and three to the left,” Anuenue commented.
“Right,” Iris agreed.
“No, to the left,” Anuenue corrected her. She pointed and added, “See?” Iris turned and saw a hart nibbling on the end of a branchlet.
“Hoy!” Iris shouted. “Down here. Mind if we ask a question?”
The red deer jumped nimbly from branch to branch until he stood in front of the two messenger goddesses. “I am Dainn,” he introduced himself.
“Aloha, Dainn,” Anuenue returned the greeting. “I am Anuenue and this is Iris.”
“Yes, I have seen you both in the Tree recently,” the deer replied.
“We are looking for Ratatosk,” Anuenue went on. “Have you seen him?”
“I believe he is visiting his girlfriend in the New World,” Dainn answered.
“I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend,” Iris commented. “No accounting for tastes.”
“She is young,” Dainn replied with what might have been a shrug, “but it is possible she has been a good influence on him.”
“I have heard of the New World,” Iris admitted, “but have not been there. Can you tell me the way?”
“The entrance is in a small town called Hattamesset,” Dainn replied. “There is a back entrance to the new World from here in on Yggdrasil, but as first time visitors it would be more proper for you to ring the front doorbell. Come, I will show you the way.”
That involved another long walk through the Tree, back to the trunk, down several branches and then back outward once again. The sun was setting as they reached the end of their desired branch. “Go straight off this branch,” Dainn instructed, “and into the Mortal World.”
“The Mortal World?” Iris asked, “but…”
“Go and you will see,” Dainn told her.
“Mahalo, Dainn,” Anuenue told him.
“That var ekki,” Dainn responded. Iris merely waved and then led the way off the tree and on to the dune gray painted front porch of a colonial cottage.
“Did that deer just play a trick on us?” Anuenue asked, looking around. It was a small residential neighborhood with tall trees – mostly maples and oaks just starting to show hints of their autumnal colors. There were a few shops down the street, although, from this vantage point, Anuenue could not tell what was sold there. She could detect the familiar scent of salt air on the faint breeze and knew they must be near the ocean, but where and which ocean?
“Ratatosk is a prankster,” Iris told her. “None of the deer are, at least not in my experience. If this is where he sent us, I suspect we are supposed to ring the doorbell as he suggested.” She reached out and pressed an illuminated button next to the door. A moment later, a perky young woman with medium length wavy brown hair opened the door. She was dressed in a bright orange and yellow blouse over dark brown slacks and met them with a welcoming smile.
“Yes?” she asked. “May I help you?”
“I… uh…” Iris began, but Anuenue cut in.
“Is this the entrance to the New World?” the Hawaiian asked bluntly.
“It is!” the younger woman acknowledged.
“Tanise?” another woman asked from somewhere inside. “Who is it?”
“I’m just finding out, Lizzie,” Tanise replied.
“I do hope you’re not inviting in the Jehovah’s Witnesses again,” Lizzie called back.
“I don’t think so,” Tanise replied and returned her attention to Iris and Anuenue. “Well, I guess you know by now my name is Tanise. Who are you?”
“I am Iris of Olympus,” Iris introduced herself. “My friend here is Anuenue of Oahu.”
“In Hawaii?” Tanise asked. “Oh, silly me, of course. Oahu is not the capital of Nebraska, is it?” She laughed at her own joke. “Well, come in and I’ll introduce you around. Come on!” she added effervescently when they hesitated at the doorstep.
“It doesn’t look like a different world,” Iris remarked as she closed the door behind her.
“Oh, that’s our back yard,” Tanise replied. “It’s raining today, which between you and me, I love, but the others prefer to stay dry so we’ve been having coffee in the solarium. Ash?” she called ahead, “Do we have enough for two more guests?”
“Of course, dear,” a woman replied from the kitchen. “I just went shopping this morning. I’ll put on a fresh pot.”
“Thank you!” Tanise called back and she and the two messengers arrived in the solarium and suddenly knew for certain they were in the right place.
An elderly gentleman, who Tanise introduced as “Eddy,” was seated in the center of the room in a cushioned wicker chair. To his left, Tanise pointed out Xochipilli of Mexico, and Ihy of Memphis. Xochipilli just sat there smiling, totally zoned out to the world around him, but Ihy grinned.
“Hello, love,” he greeted Iris in a thick British accent. “Haven’t run into you in a while. Been well?”
“Passable,” Iris admitted, “but I would never have recognized you. You’ve grown up.”
“It happens to us all eventually,” Ihy shrugged.
“And these,” Tanise picked up her list of introductions by pointing to Eddy’s right side, “are Miu from Japan, Wade Vogel, and…”
“Phix?” Iris recognized the Sphinx. “What are you doing here?”
“Living, Iris,” the Sphinx replied, “and both learning and teaching the art of Dance. Most call me Lizzie these days, however.”
“She and Wade are building a school out back,” Tanise added, pointing outside of the glass walls of their room. Iris and Anuenue turned to see a concrete foundation from which the wooden skeleton of a barnlike building arose.
“With living quarters over the shop,” Wade chuckled, “but it’s been raining on that side of reality for days now so we’re taking some time off.”
“Here we go!” a matronly woman announced as she entered, carrying a large tray of pastries and a fresh pot of coffee. There were already extra cups on the dining table in the corner although this woman, who Tanise introduced as Asherah, left the pastries on a short coffee table that was within reach of most of the people present. She poured for both Anuenue and Iris, but allowed them to add their own cream and sugar if they wanted. Iris put double helpings of both in her coffee, but Anuenue drank hers black.
“I was under the impression Ratatosk was here,” Iris told the others sometime later.
“He is,” Tanise replied easily, “but he’s in my Tree with Astreya. He visits frequently. I think its sweet.”
“That depends on why he is visiting,” Iris remarked suspiciously.
“Why do you think, love?” Ihy asked slyly.
“They are not!” Tanise maintained. “Astreya is making him wait.”
“Wait for what?” Wade asked curiously. “Are they hoping to get a priest or a rabbi in here?”
“Maybe,” Asherah chuckled. “although Eddy could perform the ceremony.”
“Me?” Eddy asked.
“You are this universe’s supreme deity,” Ash reminded him.
“I still don’t have a union card,” Eddy replied with a smile.
“Have they at least set the date?” Wade asked.
“Sometime in the Pleistocene would be my guess,” Lizzie told him.
“That might actually be about right,” Miu considered. “She could be awaiting until their species evolves.”
“They aren’t actually the same species,” Tanise pointed out. “Astreya is a melanized Eastern Gray while Ratatosk is a European Red Squirrel, though he does seem a bit on the grayish side, although the European Red does tend to have a gray coat in the winter.”
“Then they can’t breed,” Wade pointed out.
“That may be just as well,” Eddy laughed. “Can you imagine dozens of little Ratatosks running around here?”
“Difference of species does not always apply on the Divine Plain,” Lizzie reminded her. “Look at me. It’s not like I was born because a mommy sphinx and a daddy sphinx loved each other very much.”
“Well, I think Astreya likes Ratty, but she wants to make sure that he feels the same,” Tanise told them all. Let’s face it. Ratatosk tends to make very bad first impressions and squirrels do not normally mate for life.”
“How many other giant squirrels would he have to mate with?” Miu asked.
“Maybe that is why he sticks around,” Wade conjectured.
“I believe we all underestimate Ratty at times,” Tanise told them. “It is an easy thing to do, since he so frequently plays the clown, but I think all that is a defense mechanism.”
“You’ve been reading your psychology books again,” Wade laughed.
“Actually, I’ve been reading Amy’s and Evie’s books,” Tanise replied, “but I’m signing up for an online class in the subject.” She sighed. “Sometimes I wish I could have gone to Sherburne College with Evie.”
“There is always something to be learned wherever you are, dear,” Asherah told her, “and someday the New World here will have universities you can attend if you like.”
“That is going to take a while,” Wade pointed out. “This world is still plodding along in its late Eocene period.”
“We might be up to the Oligocene,” Tanise pointed out. “It is hard to tell because We only know for certain as various new species evolve and a lot of what I have found here doesn’t exist in any known set of fossils. I would know for certain if we could get to the Antarctic, though, I think that was when the first permanent ice sheets formed there. But we are defnitely still in the Paleogene period.”
“Why can’t you get to Antarctica?” Wade asked. “You have Ash’s flying carpet.”
“It is not very fast,” Tanise pointed out, “and would take me weeks just to get there and that’s assuming it exists on this world. We still have not been more than two hundred miles from here. That’s a lot of area to cover in an ATV or a flying carpet.”
“You have your Tree,” Iris pointed out. “Shouldn’t you be able to travel all over the world just as we do on Yggdrasil?”
“No,” Tanise shook her head. “Dee explained it to me. You see, while this world is still growing at an accelerated rate and not yet in a period in which there are people to invent religions there is a metaphysical disconnection between the Tree and the world He represents. I can look, but not touch, so to speak.”
“Then you can look to see if there are ice sheets,” Wade pointed out.
“I can, can’t I?” Tanise marvelled. “I’ll do it tomorrow. Would you like to come with me, Wade?”
“It will be a nice change from house-building,” Lizzie told him, “and you really do not have to supervise Aediculus, you know. He was the Roman god of architecture and probably knows all there is to building any sort of home.”
“He keeps trying to put in a columned portico all around the building,” Wade pointed out.
“I think that would be nice,” Lizzie told him. “It would give us a nice place to relax in the afternoon and, if I am to be completely honest, it would feel very familiar to me.”
“You should have told me earlier,” Wade replied. “I wouldn’t have fought against it.”
“It seemed to make you happy,” Lizzie laughed.
“I’m building this school for you,” Wade pointed out. “Let’s do it your way.”
“You two!” Miu laughed. “Wade, you tell Aediculus to work with Lizzie on this and then go with Tanise to discover the world.
“Yeah,” Wade shrugged. “Maybe I try too hard.”
“It’s sweet,” Miu told him fondly. She gave him a warm smile which he returned, although Anuenue noticed Wade was slightly uneasy. She was about to comment on it, but realized she really did not know either of them and should let them work out whatever was going on for themselves.
Just then Ratatosk showed up with a very large black squirrel, who was only slightly smaller than he was. “Hey, guys!” he greeted everyone. “Hey, Eddy, are you going to fire up the grill tonight? I’m in the mood for steak!” Astreya whispered something to him and he modified that to “I mean grilled nut salsa?”
“It’s a bit early,” Eddy replied, “but I suppose I can when the time comes. Never tried grilling nuts before. They might fall through the grates though.”
“Well, I’m sure you’re find a way,” Ratatosk told him, keeping one eye on Astreya’s reaction. Then he noticed Iris and Anuenue and said, “Hiya,babes… uh, I mean, ladies! Did you follow me here?”
“Somewhat indirectly,” Iris admited, “but yes.”
“So, what can I do you f…” Ratatosk caught a glare from Astreya and switched gears, “for you, I mean. Sorry about that. Old habits and all.”
Iris suspected his apology was more to the other squirrel than to her, but it did not matter. “At the moment we’re trying to find Hermes. Have you seen him recently?”
“Hermes?” Ratatosk considered that. “No, not in the last few weeks, but I didn’t think anything of it. He usually only zips through the Tree when headed to Asgard or when his rainbow merges with Bifrost for a moment or two. A few weeks is a little longer than usual and during the summer I see him more frequently, but now that the season is over, well, I do have other things to do than keep track of visitors from other pantheons.”
“Now what?” Anuenue asked Iris.
Before Iris could reply, Ratatosk went on, “Iris, you remember Enki’s observation point, don’t you – the one he used during the war at the end of the last cycle? It’s still there and still in fairly good shape since it still sees some use every so often.”
“Didn’t he use some sort of water magic to make it work?” Iris asked. “I seem to recall bowls of water and a large floating sphere. I don’t have that sort of ability.”
“Enki used his strengths to make the point yield up what he wanted his team to see,” Ratatosk explained, “but the location was chosen because you could see almost everywhere from there and you can do so in close detail if you know how to look. I imagine that as fast as you run, you must have a way of keeping an eye on the road too. You can see everything from the top of the Tree too, but from there you see it all at once, not up close. That spot is one of the few places on Yggdrasil where that can be done. If you want, I can take you there.”
“Lizzie, it sounds like they can use a natural hunter,” Wade prompted her.
“I wish I could help,” Lizzie replied, “but Terpsichore is bringing in her troupe of dancing nymphs for the weekend and we’re going to start rehearsing for our opening. I need to be here.”
“I might be interested,” Miu volunteered. “As a fellow messenger, I feel a certain obligation to help out.”
“That’s a good idea,” Wade remarked and turned to Iris and Anuenue. “Miu is one of Lord Inari’s personal messengers, which is why her hair is pure white. She is also a kitsune, one of the Japanese foxes who are capable of taking on a human shape. If you need a hunter, I doubt you could do better.”
“It certainly will not hurt us to have someone like Miu with us,” Iris agreed. “You don’t travel by rainbow too, do you?” she asked Miu.
No, I generally walk Between the plains,” Miu admitted easilly, “although I have recently learned how to access the great World Tree.”
“Which is exactly where we are going,” Ratatosk told them.
The Observatory had been heavily modified by Mother Nature who had convinced Yggdrasil to grow a series of bumps along a wide branch and then She directed the Tree to form wide bowls at the top of each bump which Enki, had then filled with the purest water and then used them as scrying bowls during the great war that destroyed the world at the end of the previous cycle. Since then, Enki and others had returned to that spot and used it for less demanding purposes. Consequently, only one of the bowls had not actually filled in with subsequent growth, but Iris and Anuenue did not need even that bowl. Ratatosk had been correct that both goddesses had their own means of seeing further into the world around them than most. Miu, who naturally had the sharp eyes of a fox, had her own ability to see across great distances, an ability magnified by this location.
“I don’t see much of anything out of the unusual,” Iris commented, after an hour of staring out at the world.
“Really?” Ratatosk asked. “After only an hour you figure you’ve seen the whole world, have you? When did you develop this case of incipient omniscience?”
“How many personalities do you have in there?” Iris snapped at him. “You were actually polite and helpful there for a while.”
“I like to mix it up,” Ratatosk told her.
“He was showing off for his girlfriend,” Miu explained. “Astreya does not approve of Ratty’s usual behavior so he’s always on his best when she’s around.”
“Maybe we should have brought her here,” Anuenue commented.
“Well, she can’t be here,” Ratatosk told them. “She’s a part of the New World. We can visit there, but the beings of the New World cannot come any closer to this universe than the inside of Eddy’s house and that only because it is the bridge between the two worlds. In the normal course of things the entities of a new universe are entirely unaware of the one from which they sprang, except if the people are into speculative fiction.”
“This time it might be different,” Miu told them. “We’ve been having a lot of discussions about that since I joined Wade and Lizzie. Dee says this new world is nearly identical to the one we all grew up in because that is what the supreme deity of the new universe, Eddy Salem, is most comfortable with. He does not realize that subconsciously he is directing the universe along the lines he believes it should develop. We are all certain that there will be differences once sapient life evolves. History in the New World will be very different because the people will have the will to do as they wish and not as their environment dictates. The second generation of deities will be quite different as well since they will be formed from ones like Eddy, Dee, Tanise, Jael and everyone else who is so far associated with it. We do not really know what the primordial gods of our universe were like, but we are fairly certain they were nothing like us. None of the other known children of Yggdrasil have been even remotely similar.”
“The problem,” Iris remarked, bringing them back to their search, “is that we don’t know where to look. Maybe we should have started at the top of the Tree after all for a good overall view and then come down here for a closer view.”
“I can tell you already what you would have seen,” Ratatosk told her. “Clouds. The clouds are metaphorical, I suppose, representing the uncertainties that always exist in an infinite universe. The point is, you can’t see what is under the clouds, but then you wouldn’t be able to see under them from here either. However, just to show you that I really do know how to be a team member, I’ll scamper on up there and take a look for you. I’m not likely to spot anything out of the ordinary, but that way you’ll know.”
“One of us should go with you,” Iris told him.
“You don’t trust me?” Ratatosk countered. “Look, babe, you’ll only slow me down. Bifrost doesn’t go directly from one part of the Tree to another and no one can travel the branches and trunk better than I. Wait here.” The squirrel turned and started running toward the trunk. After about ten yards, he leaped off the branch and to another and then another, going ever upward diagonally toward the trunk. A few minutes later he reached the top of the Tree only to find Iris chatting with the hawk, Vethrfolnir. “How’d you get here so fast?” he demanded.
“Hi, Ratty,” Iris greeted him sweetly. “Don’t you remember? You pretty much told me how when you said Bifrost didn’t come here directly. But it does go from Midgard, which can be represented by any part of the Tree to Asgard and back again. So I zipped to Himinbjorg and then here. What took you so long?”
“Nobody likes a wiseass, babe,” Ratatosk told her. “I know.”
“Let’s take a look at the world,” Iris suggested. “What’s that over there?” she asked a few minutes later.
“Clouds,” Ratatosk replied. “I told you about them.”
“That clump seems different to me,” she replied before calling over her shoulder to the hawk and eagle who stood guard on the highest limb of the Tree. “Vethrfolnir, Sam, do you see that clump of clouds down there? It’s slightly darker than all the others and it feels odd.”
“I cannot say about their feeling,” Vethrfolnir replied, “but I agree they do look different and they are growing in size. They do not, however, threaten Yggdrasil.”
“But they might?” Iris asked.
“No,” Vethrfolnir shook his head. “These clouds, or rather whatever they represent or hide pose no danger to the Tree, by which I mean the World as a whole. If it concerned the Tree I would fly to investigate further, but since it does not, I would be abandoning my post to do so.”
“How do you know it will not threaten the Tree at some future time?” Iris asked.
“My vision, like yours, can only go so far,” Vethrfolnir replied, “but to the extent that I can see, it poses no danger to the Tree.”
“And to me?” Iris asked. “Does it pose a threat to me? To Anuenue? To anyone else involved with us?”
“That I cannot see,” Vethrfolnir replied. “I would recommend you rely on your own ability to see, not mine.”
The sun was setting by the time Iris returned to the observatory and there was the scent of snow on the wind. “It’s getting cold,” Anuenue noted.
“What did you expect?” Ratatosk asked. “We’re well north of the Arctic Circle. The day is only four hours long right now and getting shorter every day. You’re lucky we’re not standing in the middle of a blizzard.”
“We can only search four hours each day?” Anuenue asked.
“That depends on where you are looking,” Ratatosk told her, “although you really should have dressed warmer. However, you can see any location in the world from here and it is daylight in half the world at any given moment.”
“Isn’t the Earth flat on the Divine Plain?” Iris asked. “It always seems so to me. That is why we call it the Divine Plain and not the Divine Sphere.”
“That depends on which part of the Divine you are on,” Raratosk told her. “Not everyone believed the Earth was flat and even fewer do now so.”
“Ratatosk is correct,” Miu agreed, “The Divine Plain is at least partly shaped by belief and beliefs do change with time, but is the area we wish to observe still in sunlight?”
“The strange cloud formation I spotted should still be illuminated if we hurry,” Iris told them and directed the others where to look.
“There is something strange about it,” Anuenue admitted a short time later, “but I’m not sure what.”
“That’s the problem I had,” Iris admitted, “and Vethrfolnir did not think it posed a threat.”
“To the Tree,” Ratatosk reminded her. “He said it posed no threat to Yggdrasil. That’s not quite the same as saying there was nothing to worry about.”
“I agree,” Iris replied to Anuenue, ignoring Ratatosk.
“Are you kidding?” Miu asked them both. “How many rainbows does a single storm have about it? One I should imagine and where it is depends on the relative position of the sun. Two, if you have a secondary bow and in rare occurrences you might have a series of concentric bows if the conditions are just right.
“It is rare,” Iris admitted, “but multiple bows that are not concentric have been observed,”
“Yes,” Anuenue nodded, “but Miu does bring up a good point. All the bows ought to be on the same side of that storm, not all clumped around it. That, of course, is most frequently in the wake of a raining cloud, but bows exist in other conditions in which droplets of moisture refract light. However, you cannot see a bow on both the front and back of a storm at the same time without supernatural interference. Something very odd is happening there. We need to go and investigate.”
As she said that, however, the wind began to pick up, blowing through the branches of Yggdrasil. Many leaves, now bright yellow with their fall colors, were blown off their branches and mingled with sleet that bounced off Yggdrasil’s bark with a sizzling sound. “I think we’d better head for shelter,” Ratatosk suggested. “This is not a light spring shower coming in. Follow me!”
They had to run to keep up with him and Miu transformed into her natural fox form, a kitsune with five tails and pure white fur, both to make it easier to jog along with the squirrel and because the fur was far warmer than the clothing she had been wearing when they left Hattamesett. He led them over a mile away from the observatory and by the time they reached the sheltering fold in Yggdrasil’s surface, the wind was wailing through the tree while snow and sleet stung their faces. “In here,” Ratatosk instructed them.
“Nice,” Miu commented, shifting back into her human form. She had three tails and all three swished back and forth with delight. “It’s like a small wooden cave.”
“Even more conveniently,” Ratatosk told her, “the wind is from the right direction and it isn’t blowing in here.”
“I could use a nice fire to keep warm by,” Anuenue remarked.
“Not here!” Ratatosk nearly screamed. “That would be the same as setting the world on fire and the fire would never go out!”
“I’m the Rainbow Maiden,” Anuenue pointed out, “not Pele, but I am not used to temperatures like this.”
“Here,” Miu told her. The kitsune had been wearing a loose off-white sweater with a pattern of fox faces knitted into the pattern. She pulled it off now, revealing she had not been wearing anything under it. “Wear this.”
“Woohoo!” Ratatosk hooted. “Take it off, baby! Take it all…”
“Shut it, you,” Miu told him with a snarl that reveal all her pointed teeth.
“I couldn’t,” Anuenue demurred. “What about you?”
“I’m a fox,” Miu reminded her. “With the possible exception of my next meal over there, I’m likely to be the warmest one here.” So saying, she shifted back to her fox form, dazzling even in the dimly lit conditions because of her pure white fur.
“It’s getting dark,” Iris remarked, “but I can do something about that.” She closed her eyes for a moment and the shelter was filled with soft multicolored light that shifted slowly back and forth through the space.
“Nice,” Ratatosk told her. “The only thing missing is a Christmas tree,”
“Wrong pantheon for any of us,” Iris shot back.
A hart entered the shelter just then. “Thank you for the light,” he told them. “I nearly got lost in the storm.”
“Dvalin,” Ratatosk greeted the deer with a nod. “You’re looking a little snowy.”
“It will melt,” Dvalin replied, “but this is no ordinary storm.”
“Really?” Ratatosk was the soul of sarcasm. “No kidding? You didn’t think we had noticed that something is this badly out of balance.”
Dvalin ignored the squirrel and spoke to the others instead, “As I said, this is no ordinary storm. I am sure you understand that everything that happens in the domain of Yggdrasil is actually a reflection of something going on elsewhere.”
“So, there is a big storm happening in the Mortal World?” Iris asked.
“That would normally be the case,” Dvalin told her, “but I sense this is a reflection of something being done on the Divine Plain and that is highly unusual.”
“Where?” Iris asked.
“I am sorry,” Dvalin apologized, “but that is not something that can be ascertained from here. We shall have to wait out the storm before we can investigate, that is, if you are willing to help me investigate.”
“There is a chance this relates to something we are looking into,” Iris told him. “Count on us.”
The storm kept them penned up in the shelter for the next two days during which the winds howled and the temperature dropped so low that even the deer and Ratatosk were forced to huddle with the others for warmth. “Next time I have to come here in the winter,” Iris remarked with one arm around Dvalin and the other around Anuenue, “remind me to bring a portable camping heater. Sleeping bags might be in order as well.”
“I’m thinking I should have bought a snow shovel years ago,” Ratatosk told her.
“Seriously?” Miu asked.
“Not really,” Ratatosk admitted. “The snow usually falls off the branches within a day or two of a storm or else melts off. We may be in the Arctic, but Yggdrasil’s climate is closer to something from the northern part of the temperate zone. It often gets warm enough to melt off the branches especially this early in the season, and when it stays cold, it’s all powder and a decent breeze knocks it off most of the time. I do have to admit that, if I could, I’d see about transferring to a nice tropical pantheon. I wonder if the Lugbara are looking for a mythic squirrel.”
“No one is looking for a mythic squirrel,” Dvalin told him. “You generally show up all on your own.”
“Or I could just retire to Florida,” Ratatosk shrugged. “I’m well over two millennia old. I should have a pension by now.”
“I don’t,” Iris told him. “I don’t see why you should.”
“I’m thinking we should have unionized when the world was created,” Ratatosk told her.
The storm blew itself out sometime during that night as dark as it had been in there with only a faint rainbow glow it was even brighter as the first rays of the rising sun invaded to shed light on the sleeping party.
“Oy!” Ratatosk groaned as he opened his eyes. “Is it spring yet?”
“No,” Dvalin told him, “and unlike your mortal counterparts, you don’t get to hibernate.”
“How ‘bout I hit the snooze button?” Ratatosk countered.
“You know we have to get to the top of the Tree,” the hart reminded him.
“Why?” Miu asked.
“The guardians of Yggdrasil always meet after events such as this one to compare notes,” Dvalin explained. “You need not attend, but since you are interested in what caused this storm, I believe you will want to be there.”
“Right now, any chance to stretch my legs is welcome,” Miu admitted. “Let’s go!”
When they got to the Tree’s summit they found not only the other denizens of Yggdrasil, but several deities of the Norse pantheon waiting for them. Odin, in fact, had already started commanding the meeting, which did nothing for Ratatosk’s state of mind. “Oh great,” the squirrel muttered. “Old One-Eye is playing CEO again. That probably means he started the storm himself.”
“I don’t believe He is known for that ability,” Iris pointed out.
“Oh, He can do it,” Ratatosk assured her. “All he needs is some idiot to say He can’t and He’ll do whatever it takes to prove them wrong. That or He was out teasing the storm giants again. Give one of them a hotfoot and…”
“Silence!” Odin bellowed. “Let us bring this meeting to order.”
“Out of order is more like it,” Ratatosk muttered quietly to Miu. “These things are always faster and smoother when He holes up in Valhalla or else goes walkabout in Jotunnheim.”
Thor wandered over from here he had been standing next to Odin and whispered to Ratatosk, “You do realize He can hear you, right?”
“So?” Ratatosk asked.
“So I recall a cycle in which your pelt was a throw rug in Valhalla,” Thor reminded him.
“As I recall that chipmunk He tried to replace me with was even more trouble than I was,” Ratatosk replied, “and not very good at getting out of the way. Nidhogg got him on his second visit, or at least so I was told. I notice old Hole-in-the-Head hasn’t tried skinning me again.”
“You usually behave yourself in his presence,” Thor pointed out.
“I woke up cranky this morning,” Ratatosk replied.
“Do not say I did not warn you,” Thor told him and strode back to his place by Odin’s side.
“The intensity of the recent storm was greater than anything we have yet experienced this cycle,” Odin told the others. “I was also surprised that it happened at all and, as you know, I have the gift of foreseeing. Right now, Valhalla is buried under four and a half meters of snow.”
“So,” Ratatosk interrupted, “No playing on the battlefield this morning. Hope you got the new shipment of shovels in from Wal*Mart. If not, I suppose you can send the Valkyries out for some.”
“Quiet!” Odin told him.
“Why?” Ratatosk laughed. “What’s the problem? Running out of mead for the warriors?”
Odin glared at the squirrel and continued on with His meeting, “We all know this was no ordinary storm and finding the cause of it is essential.”
“Might I make a suggestion,” Iris asked. Odin nodded His assent so she went on, “I believe we already know the storm was caused by someone or something on another part of the Divine Plain. It is highly unusual for such events to travel very far, however. I think we should go out and take a look and discover the scope of the storm’s effect as well as its source. It seems to me that source is most likely from a nearby and related portion of the Divine Plain. So we should start in the neighboring regions and then move outward if we do not find the source.”
“When I said the storm came from an external source,” Dvalin told her, “I meant external from the region of the Tree. It might have started from any of the Nine Worlds. Well, except Asgard or we would already know about that.”
“Then we should search the other eight,” Iris replied, “as well as those regions that represent any closely related mythos.”
“Thialfi, Ratatosk,” Odin decided, “You are our fastest runners. Go survey the Nine Worlds and get back to me as soon as possible. You, Iris, have a good idea, however, Let’s break up into teams of two and visit the neighboring sections of the Plain.”
Odin assigned the teams as well, but left Iris, Anuenue and Miu for last as he made his assignments. “You, from Hawaii,” he ordered Anuenue, “go with Sif to the Celtic region and you two,” he added to Iris and Miu, see what there is to see in the Germanic region.”
“Actually I would suggest that Miu go with Ratatosk,” Iris told him. “She’s a much better diplomat than he is.”
“Good point,” Odin admitted. “All right. Sif, go with Iris and Anuenue… uh.”
“I am sure I can handle this Celtic region on my own,” Anuenue assured him. “I can always scoot off on a rainbow if I get in trouble.”
“I would rather you had a partner,” Odin told her, “but I suppose it cannot be helped. Very well, but be very careful.”
“It’s quiet here,” Iris noted as she and Sif wandered through the Germanic section of the Divine Plain.
“Too quiet?” Sif suggested.
“Perhaps,” Iris admitted.
“It seems very small too,” Sif observed.
“The size of each region varies based on its inhabitants, the beliefs of their worshippers and the geography necessary to contain all known landmarks,” Iris told her. “You come from a part of the Divine Plain that is still active and vital.”
“Yes,” Sif agreed. “The Nine Worlds are much larger than this because we still have those who actively worship us as ‘the old religion,’ in the Mortal World. Not as many as we once had, but enough. This place seems completely empty, however. Is that possible?”
“No,” Iris shook her head. “It is not. If this locale were completely empty it might not exist at all. There are still some who believe in what they probably call the ‘Old Religion.’ We see a lot of that. Just what the Old Religion is varies from one group of mortals to the next and some are amazingly multi-pantheistic. Some mortals pick and choose those bits they like from a number of old religions and then frequently add in ideas of their own, sometimes because their belief requires more depth and sometimes because they simply do not know any better. However, many religions grew out of just that sort of thing, so that is nothing new. Of course, many gods and goddesses will consciously merge with closely related aspects of themselves and I believe most of the former inhabitants of this part of the divine plain have merged with, and sometimes been confused with, their Norse counterparts with whom we just met. Consequently, this place is here, but most of those divinities who might be living here are more active in their other aspects.
“However, there must be someone here,” Iris continued, “or this place would be even smaller than it is, with each mythic location jammed up against the next. Of course, there may only be some of the minor supernatural people, but I sense someone of power up ahead.”
Sif closed her eyes for a moment and concentrated. “About half of a kilometer ahead,” she estimated as she opened her eyes once more..
“How sharp are your eyes, Sif?” Iris asked. “Can you describe that building ahead of us?”
“My eyesight is passable,” Sif replied, “at least in the short to medium range. I am near-sighted, though. My son, Ull has excellent eyesight, though, but he must get it from his father.”
“Have you considered corrective lenses?” Iris suggested.
“Never thought about it,” Sif shrugged. “It normally does not come up.”
“It might if you wanted a driver’s license,” Iris pointed out.
“A driver’s license?” Sif asked. “I’ve never needed one. I generally travel via Yggdreasil, if I travel at all.”
“I’m told driving the right car can be a lot of fun,” Iris pointed out. “Try asking Inanna some time.”
“I shall think about it,” Sif replied. “Wait. Why are you asking about my eyesight?”
“I was wondering how well you could see that house up ahead of us,” Iris explained.
“Sorry,” Sif apologized. “From here’s it’s just a gray box on the top of that hill.”
“Gray?” Iris asked. “It looks light brown to me. Are you color blind?”
“No,” Sif shook her head, “but I did say I was near sighted. From here I cannot make out the details What about that house?”
“It looks like a Roman villa to me,” Iris replied. “A fairly palatial one, in fact.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Sif admitted. “I would be happy to talk about all sorts of Scandinavian and Icelandic architecture from ancient to modern, but I know very little of how houses were built in ancient Rome, at least not until the capital was moved to Byzantium.”
“They look very much like that,” Iris replied.
“Yes,” Sif smiled, “I worked that out for myself.”
“Hmm, yes,” Iris laughed. “Well, you can take it from me, this is very Roman looking and not at all as I remember this section of the Divine Plain.”
“Times change?” Sif suggested. “Let’s go ask about it.”
As they continued, they found a dirt road to walk on although it was paved with gravel as it neared the villa. The house was set back from the road and a semicircular driveway led to the front door and then continued on to a wide flat area to one side that was also gravel-paved. “What is that?” Sif asked.
“It looks like a parking lot,” Iris told her, “although with this style of house, I would expect to see chariots parked there. Oh well, with luck, enlightenment resides within.” She walked up to the villa’s portico where she found a bell pull of braided golden rope. Pulling on it produced a cheerful tinkling sound.
“We have company?” they heard someone say from inside the house. “Nerthuz, dear, could you see who it is? My hands are full.”
“Coming!” another woman called as Iris rang the bell again. A moment later she opened the door. Nerthuz had long blond hair and bright green eyes. Her hair had been bound up in two long braids that fell to her knees. Rather than a long dress as Iris might have expected in this part of the Divine Plain, Nerthuz was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that sported the saccharine-adorable face of a very wide-eyed kitten and the words “Coffee. It’s what’s for Breakfast!” “Oh, hello!” she greeted Iris and Sif. “We’re not ready to open for business, but please come in.”
“Business?” Sif asked as they followed Nerthuz inside.
“Baddy and I are doing something to renew the whole Germanic section of the Divine realm,” Nerthuz explained.
“What?” Iris asked.
“Well, you see this villa?” Nerthuz waved her arms in general around her. “We’re turning it into a resort.”
“I was curious why it’s so Roman,” Iris admitted.
“Oh, this whole sector is thoroughly Romanized and has been ever since Tacitus took it on himself to describe the gods of the German tribes,” Nerthuz replied as they walked over the ornately mosaic-tiled floor. The design was mostly geometric, but here and there were pictoral panels of various supernatural creatures. “Even our names were partially Latinized. If you look me up on that mortal Internet thing, you’ll find it spelled ‘Nerthus’ with an s as often as not. Then again, the Germans of that time were not a literate people, save for the ones who went to Rome and learned Latin, but never mind that. Let’s sit out in the peristyle. I know it’s a little cool today, but the sun is out and it is quite pleasant. Baddy!” she called out, “Join us! Sit here,” she indicated a round wooden table with a wide red umbrella. Around it were four heavy wooden chairs with cushions covered with the same red fabric as the umbrella. “I’ll make tea.”
“Do you know her? She seems a little familiar to me, but…” Sif asked Iris after Nerthuz has rushed back into the house which turned out to surround the long courtyard. The courtyard itself was partially covered with an overhanging roof that was supported by columns and there were stone statues placed on pedestals among the garden plants in beds that ran the length of the courtyard with stone-paved paths between them.
“Maybe,” Iris sounded uncertain. “I think I recall hearing of her from Tacitus’ Annals, but I do not think we ever actually met before, and I certainly don’t know who this ‘Baddy’ is.”
“Of course you do, Iris,” another woman with a raspy, deep contralto voice told her as she joined them at the table. She was tall and quite muscular and wore her hair much shorter than Nerthuz did. She looked as though she ought to be wearing armor or exercise sweats, but as Nerthuz did, she wore jeans and a t-shirt. However, her t-shirt was black and emblazoned with a fantastic battle scene in bright colors, including a lot of blood red. “We met several times during the Roman period, especially after the Battle of Teutoburg Forest.”
Iris lifted a finger to point at the other goddess as though trying to place her. “Baduhenna? It’s been forever!”
“Several cycles in any case,” Baduhenna laughed.
“You and Nerthuz,” Iris remarked. “You two are a bit of an odd couple aren’t you?”
“You mean while she is a goddess of peace and fertility and I am a warrior?” Baduhenna asked. She shrugged and went on, “Who better to appreciate peace than a warrior? Besides, where else could either of us go? Neither of us had a clearly defined analogue aspect with which to merge. Most of the German gods joined their Norse analogues, but Nerthuz’ analogue was male and did not feel comfortable with that change. Frankly, even the human scholars debate whether the two were aspects of each other. As for me? Well, I suppose there were other warrior maidens, but none were close enough. For a while, there was no one here at all, not even Nerthuz and me, but a year ago or so we met up in Bucharest. She was waiting tables and I was just passing through. We spent the night just catching up with each other and came up with an idea.
“Since this region is empty, why not use it?” she went on. “Why not repurpose it, as the mortals say these days?”
“In what way?” Iris asked.
“We’re turning it into a resort,” Baduhenna replied.
“A resort?” Iris asked. “On the Divine Plain?”
“Why not?” Baduhenna replied. “The Mortal World is full of them, but this would be a place deities and other supernatural creatures could come and relax without having to hide their nature. This villa is going to be just the start. We’ll build more, probably smaller, ones and rent them out. This will be our home and office and we have plenty of room to put employees up in the side that would normally have been the servants’ quarters if this were a real villa.”
“But why build them Roman style?” Iris asked.
“This whole region was Romanized by Tacitus and other Roman writers,” Nerthuz told her, rejoining them. She carried a large tray with a Tea pot and cups as well as a platter of pastries. “We can bring these buildings into being naturally… well, supernaturally, but this is the style that forms here most readily.”
“You can just build them by magic?” Sif asked.
“The up side of developing a vacant region of the Divine Plain,” Baduhenna replied as Nerthuz started pouring the tea and passing around the cups. “It is almost like being in a newly forming zone in which we can create what we like except this one has its own ideas of how things are. You can try to force it, but Roman-style and the way the Romans thought Germans lived comes easiest. We decided that the villa would be most appealing to our guests.”
“We’re putting in a bid to host the Celestial League World Series in two years,” Nerthuz added. “Baddie wanted to build a replica of the Coliseum in Rome, but when we looked into it turned out the resulting field would be entirely too small and one large enough to contain even a mortal field it would have to be nearly twice the size of the original and for a Celestial League Park, well, even with everyone on the Divine Plain in attendance the place would look empty, so we worked out a design that incorporates the look of the Coliseum, but open at one end for the outfield. We have a model you can see inside, if you like.”
“I would be very interested,” Sif told her.
“I have to admit this world feels very comfortable to me,” Iris told them. “That might be my own Greco-Roman origins talking, but I have to agree that many modern gods and supernatural creatures will enjoy visiting here. Which season will be your best, do you think?”
“I think we have something to offer for all seasons,” Baduhenna replied. “We have mountains for winter sports and both lakes and sea shores for the summer.”
“The spring flowers are heavenly!” Nerthuz added enthusiastically, “and the fall foliage is not to be missed. You have to realize we include most of the Divine aspect of Europe East of the Rhine and in many ways it is good that this region has been empty for so long. It has shrunk so everything is closer together”
“Very nice,” Iris agreed.
“So,” Baduhenna continued after they had all had a few sips of tea and at least tasted Nerthuz’s pastries, “what brings you two to this part of Creation?”
“We were caught up in a major storm on Yggdrasil,” Iris explained. “After it blew out we met with the Tree’s guardians and some of Odin’s crew and it was decided to see if we could find the source of that storm since it was determined that it came from somewhere else on the Divine Plain.”
“Not here, certainly,” Baduhenna told her. “We had a bit of wind and rain here a couple of days ago, but it did not seem particularly out of the ordinary for this time of year. I think that if it had been started here, Nerthuz and I would have detected a divine presence, but yours is the only one I’ve felt in months since… hmmm, who was it that was passing through?”
“Hermes, dear,” Nerthuz told her.
“Hermes was here?” Iris asked. “I’ve been looking for him too. Do you know where he went?”
“It was a few months ago, as I said,” Baduhenna repleid, “but at the time he was going from Olympus to somewhere on the Celtic Plain. Tir na nOg, I think. He got confused somehow and turned up here. We gave him a place to rest for a few days and then he was off again.”
“That sounds like it may have been about the same time I had my little misadventure,” Iris commented, “the one that started all this for me.”
“What misadventure?” Baduhenna asked.
Iris spent the next hour recounting what had been happening to her, but Nertuz and Baduhenna had both been so isolated from the rest of Creation while renovating the Germanic region of the Divine Plain, it turned out they had no advice to give besides proceeding with caution. In the end both Iris and Sif thanked them for their hospitality before rushing back to the Tree.
They arrived back on Yggdrasil to find both Miu and Ratatosk laughing hysterically over an encounter. “You had foxy here paired with me for her diplomatic skills?” Ratatosk laughed as he saw Iris approach. “You really should have seen her. She tweaked Nidhogg’s tail worse than I ever did.”
“You did?” Iris asked.
“Well it wasn’t all that hard,” Miu admitted. “I noticed right away that he is not the fastest worm in the world. Strong? Yes, but not as fast as I am and definitely not as clever. In my fox form I was literally able to make him tie himself in a knot.”
“Ha!” Sif laughed. “That must have been something to see. I will return to Asgard to report to Odin. Do you wish to join me?”
“I’ll wait until my friend, Anuenue returns,” Iris replied, “or has she come back yet?” she asked Ratatosk and Miu.
“Not yet,” Ratatosk replied, “But it has only been a few hours and there are others who haven’t turned up yet.”
By the next morning, however, Anuenue still had not returned and Iris was getting worried, “I’m going to look for her,” she told Ratatosk and Miu.
“Count us in,” Miu replied instantly.
“Us?” Ratatosk asked. “Have you suddenly developed a twin or taken a job as an editor?”
“Us, Ratty, as in you and me,” Miu told him.
“I do have other responsibilities, you know,” Ratatosk retorted.
“Fine,” Miu shrugged, “and I’ll be sure to let Astreya know everything you’ve done for your friends when she asks.”
Ratatosk glared at here for a long time. “There are sweeter ways of getting me to help, you know.”
“I’m a fox,” Miu replied, “and you are a squirrel. Let’s just imagine your reaction if I were any sweeter toward you.”
“Doesn’t stop you from turning the sugar on for Wade,” Ratatosk shot back.
“Time out, children,” Iris told them both, stepping between them. “You two were partners in crime yesterday. Let’s just cut ahead to the happy ending where we all smile at each other and go looking for Anuenue.” Ratatosk shot Miu a sick grin, which she returned with a smile broad enough to leave no doubt as to just how sharp her teeth were.
The Celtic region was literally a hop, skip and a jump away from the Norse world on the Divine plain, although Iris chose to walk the short distance. “I suppose it might have been appropriate to do a triple jump in order to enter the Celtic world,” Iris mused, “considering the claims that event was traditionally Irish back into the second millennium before the Common Era, but it is hardly necessary.”
“If certain actions were necessary to enter various parts of the Divine Plain,” Miu put in, “it would make travel from one realm to the next even more difficult that it already is. I imagine one might bow politely before entering the Japanese realm if that were the case.”
“I know of several sacred caves with very small mouths,” Iris replied. “Anyone of human size must crawl in order to enter one of them and that action is equally necessary on the Divine Plain, but that is a physical requirement, not a mystical one. Ratty, any idea of where we should look first?”
“I don’t know any more about this than you do, toots,” Ratatosk told her. “I certainly don’t know where the Hawaiian chic went when she got here.”
“Why did Odin let her come here on her own?” Iris complained.
“Why does He decide anything He does?” Ratatosk replied. “The Old Man is so pig-headed I expect Him to grow a snout. His idea of a good joke is to smash you into next month and then laugh, ‘Ha. Ha… Funny!’ and as for logic, I think you’re forgetting Socrates and Plato were from your part of the world, not mine. She volunteered and He said, ‘Ja sure!’ For that matter why didn’t you say something at the time?”
“It did not occur to me,” Iris admitted. “Anuenue sounded so sure of herself I figured she knew what she was doing.”
“Maybe she did,” Mui suggested. “Until we find her, we aren’t going to know for certain, are we? So where should we start?”
“Let’s try looking for Lugh,” Ratatosk suggested.
“Why him?” Iris asked.
“Who is he?” Miu asked at the same time.
“Lugh is a typical warrior hero of the Celtic mold,” Ratatosk replied to Miu’s question. “The father of Cuchulainn, among others and the supposed inventor of fidhell, which is just a form of tafl, sometimes called ‘Viking Chess.’ I don’t suppose we really need him, but I remember him from a few years ago when Enki tried producing a so-called reality program. Lugh pretended to be a mortal to enter the game and eventually lost to Isis. He has a magic spear that does his fighting for him, though sometimes he prefers a sling. Come to think about it, he has a whole treasure trove of magical items to play with. He likes his women and his drinking and is considered a fine figure of a man in his own mythos.”
“And why are we looking for him?” Iris repeated.
“How many Irish heroes do you think I know?” Ratatosk replied testily. “Until this last cycle there wasn’t a lot of mixing between the pantheons unless they were in the process of merging. You know that.”
“I suppose,” Iris admitted, “but I do wish I knew what Anuenue thought she was doing.”
“She probably thought she was just coming in to ask anyone she found about the storm. That’s what you and Sif did, right?”
“We did,” Iris agreed, “but Anuenue must have talked to the wrong person.”
“Or else her attachment to rainbows was used against her,” Ratatosk told her, “just like what happened to you in that massive specter thing.”
“Mass spectrometer,” Iris corrected him, “but that makes it all the more important that we find her quickly.”
“Which is why we need a hero,” Ratatosk retorted. “When it was just a matter about getting a report on the weather conditions, it was simple, but now we’re looking for a missing person. Maybe she just got lost, but there’s also a chance that someone captured her. Maybe it’s related to whomever is playing rainbow princess or maybe it’s someone else. Either way, we need someone who knows their way around here.”
“That was remarkably well-reasoned, Ratty,” Miu told him. Ratatosk merely snorted a response.
“So where can we find Lugh?” Iris asked.
“Darned if I know,” Ratatosk shrugged. “Last time I saw him, he was sulking because he was beaten by a woman.”
“Having been bested by Isis is no shame,” Iris pointed out. “She is formidable.”
“That’s not the way Lugh would see it,” Ratatosk told her. “Last cycle he would have been branded by the initials MCP. He’s a man’s man and has some antiquated notions as to what a woman is supposed to be like.”
“Point taken,” Iris told him. “How do we find him, then?”
“By asking questions, and hoping that whatever happened to Anuenue does not happen to us.”
“So who is the leader of the Celtic pantheon?” Miu asked.
“That would be the Dagda,” Iris replied. “Come to think about it, Zeus is supposedly working on something with the Dagda and judging by the glow about that large building up on that hill, I think that might even be His castle.”
“That castle looks positively medieval,” Ratatosk noted. “Isn’t that a bit late for the Dadga’s digs?”
“Not necessarily,” Iris shook her head. “This part of the Divine Plain has been run through the mill more than most. Between confusions with Christian saints, scholarly misinterpretation, erroneous and conflicting depictions and regional variants, there are all sorts of personality problems among the people here. Juno is constantly confused in deciding whether to call herself Hera or not just as Zeus can be Jove or Jupiter on alternating days, but here… Well, just take them as they come. Deities cannot help what their believers make of them.”
“Well, you’re filling me with the warm fuzzies,” Ratatosk commented, “but I think most of these people had quirky personalities from the outset. We’re talking big brave heroes who are pathologically afraid of being ritually unclean or breaking their own taboos. With priests of one ilk or another using them as object lessons and story-tellers simultaneously using them as life examples.”
“Most of us have been through that,” Iris pointed out.
“This is an extreme case,” Ratatosk maintained, “but as you say, take them as you find them. This is just a normal day in Tyr na nOg, whatever that means.”
The castle gate was open as they approached and, it turned out, the castle was completely empty, however, from the tower, Iris spotted a fair-sized stone cottage with a thatched roof and a large kitchen garden about half a mile away. There were other smaller buildings beyond that had the look of a large village. They decided to see if anyone was at home there.
“Ho! More guests!” a voice boomed as they approached the first cottage they had spotted. Come in! Come in!”
They looked ahead to see a tall, but rotund man standing beside a wooden table beneath a tall ash tree to the side of the cottage, which turned out to be much larger than it had seemed from the castle. He was wearing a too-short dark green kilt and a black t-shirt on which the words, “My son fought the Milesians and all I got was this lousy t-shirt,” had been printed. He had a well-trimmed beard that showed signs of having once been a bright red in color and, while mostly bald, the remaining hair on his head was still red. He grinned at them and gestured welcomingly. Iris then noticed a more familiar person sitting at the table.
This other man had long curly white hair and beard and wore a modern denim shirt and khaki slacks. “Jove?” Iris half asked, and then corrected herself, “Your majesty.”
“Iris,” Jove returned the greeting. “I did not expect to see you here. Do you know my friend, the Dagda?”
“Only by reputation,” Iris admitted. She gave the Dagda a proper greeting and then introduced Ratatosk and Miu.
“You are all welcome here!” the Dagda boomed at them. “Brigid! Refreshments for our new guests!”
“What’s with the big castle?” Ratatosk asked bluntly, indicating the empty structure behind and above them.
“That?” the Dagda laughed. “I only keep that drafty old thing around for show. Once or twice a year I have to put on a formal show, but the rest of the time I can live down here where it is warm and comfortable.”
“Did Hermes send you here on his behalf?” Jove asked as three identical women came out of the cottage, each carrying a try filled with food and drink.
“No,” Iris shook her head. “We have been looking for him ourselves, but no one has seen him. We all assumed he was here with you. That’s not why I am here at the moment though.”
“I have not seen Hermes in a month or better,” Jove told her. “I sent him on a mission to our fellow divine kings and have not seen him since.”
“Whoa!” Ratatosk cut in, “Over an month for a guy who can cross the universe in a flash and you didn’t think to go look for yourself?”
“Squirrel,” Jove growled at Ratatosk, “I know Odin has reasons to tolerate you, but I do not. From what I have seen, the mortals now have computer programs that can generate insults automatically. If I give one to Odin and one to Nidhogg, you will become superfluous.”
“If they wanted to replace me, they could have done that at any time with two cups and a piece of string,” Ratatosk laughed and the Dagda joined him. “No, I have other sterling qualities.”
“Well tarnished, I see,” Jove replied which only made the Dadga laugh all the harder.
“We’ll get back to our search for Hermes once we find another colleague of ours,” Iris explained, “Anuenue of Oahu was sent here to investigate the source of a storm that recently encompassed Yggdrasil and the Nine Worlds, but she has yet to return. Have any of you seen her?”
“I cannot say that I have,” the three Brigids chorused and then added,” Oh, excuse me.” A moment later they merged into a single person. “There, that is usually less confusing to guests.”
“Oh yeah, babe,” Ratatosk replied sarcastically. “Makes perfect sense to me.”
“Several of us in this part of the Divine Plain are tripartite,” Brigid explained.
“What?”
“Three-in-one and all that,” Miu explained to the squirrel. “Must be nice. No matter where you are, you always have someone to talk to.”
“We act together,” Brigid explained, “and it can be a powerful means by which to work on a problem, but conversations are more interesting when you have more than one opinion to share. In any case I have not seen your friend and I doubt either of these two have. They’ve been working on their oh-so secret project for months.”
“Yeah?” Ratatosk asked. “What’s the secret?”
“If we told you, it would not be a secret, would it?” Jove pointed out.
“Oh, it’s not that big a secret,” the Dagda laughed, “and maybe you could carry word to Odin for us. Do you remember the council of the forces Order that was convened just before the final war last cycle.”
“We filled the Plain of Megiddo to overflowing,” Ratatosk recalled.
“Right,” the Dagda agreed. “After the end of the world, the Celestial League was formed as a means by which the gods could compete without destroying the world and it worked for a while, but lately tensions have been building up on the Divine Plain. Not everyone wants to play baseball and games of any sort do not solve all problems. However the Celestial League has given us an idea. We want to establish a council made up of representatives from as many pantheons as possible which can examine various problems as they come up and deal with them in a rational and appropriate manner.”
“Rational and appropriate?” Ratatosk hooted. “By whose standards? Yours? Mine? Odin’s? Yeesh! Look at who we’re dealing with. Gods are the least rational beings in the universe.”
“As a collective,” Jove told him sternly, “we believe we can act for the benefit of the world.”
“I seriously doubt you can get enough gods and goddesses to agree on what topic to discuss, never mind come up with a workable solution to whether a glass is half empty or cracked,” Ratatosk replied, still laughing, then got a little more serious, “that is, unless the entire world is at stake, but unless the Doomsday Clock is at thirty seconds to midnight that is not likely to happen.”
“We think otherwise,” Jove told him. “We’re calling it the League of Pantheons.”
“Well,” Ratatosk shrugged, “I’ll tell Odin when I get home. No promises as to his reaction, though. However, right now we are looking for Anuenue and need an expert tracker. I was thinking of Lugh. Any idea where he might be?”
“Haven’t seen him around here in a couple of weeks,” the Dagda replied.
“I know where he is,” Brigid told them. “He’s been hanging out at Govannon’s pub in York.”
“For two weeks?” Miu asked.
“This is Lugh we’re talking about,” Brigid laughed. “He does nothing in half measures and dies at least once in every cycle. When he goes drinking he can be at it for weeks. You know about his magic spear? Well, when he drinks you would think he had a magic shot glass the size of a gallon jug. Finish your meal and I’ll take you out for drinks.”
Lugh may or may not have had a magic shot glass, but when they entered Govannon’s pub via the back door which opened directly into the Divine Plain, he was drinking Irish coffees at a table in a dark corner. Ratatosk took one look at the dozen empty mugs sitting on Lugh’s table and commented, “Don’t you hate it when the barmaids refuse to bus the table?”
Lugh looked down and glared at the squirrel. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I was in the neighborhood and heard Gov makes the best acorn smoothies,” Ratatosk shot back.
“Lugh,” Brigid cut in, “these people need your help.”
“Govannon takes the orders here,” Lugh grumbled at her, “not me, and I have no desire to help that one in particular,” he added, pointing at Ratatosk.
“You’ve been moping all over the Isles for the last few years,” Brigid pointed out. “What is your problem, Lugh?”
“He’s in a funk because he was beaten by a girl,” Ratatosk laughed. Lugh’s powerful arm flashed out and grabbed Ratatosk by the neck and dragged him across the table. A moment later both of Lugh’s hands were around the squirrel’s neck and squeezing.”
“Hey!” the bartender, a large and powerful man with long hair tied back in a pony tail, shouted. “You know the rules. No pets!”
“Bah!” Lugh threw Ratatosk halfway across the room.
“I’m no one’s pet,” Ratatosk told the bartender, who he recognized as Govannon, “I am…”
“…a service animal,” Govannon finished for him. “Right. Every talking critter who wanders in here tries that line.”
Ratatosk was about to say something and then stopped himself and instead asked, “How many talking animals walk into this bar?”
“Enough to make a whole comedy set in Vegas,” Govannon replied tiredly. “You do know we get mortals in here sometimes, right?”
“So Ihy tells me,” Ratatosk admitted, “but they’re all the sort who will clap to bring Tinkerbell back to life. They expect to see weird things. I’m not sure if their brains are wired differently from most mortals or it’s just the herbs they’re smoking, but they see stranger things than me in their dorm rooms every morning when they wake up.”
“Now that’s a scary thought!” Govannon laughed. He had a deep booming laugh. He grabbed a large pewter mug from behind the bar a filled it with bitter ale. “There you go, mate. On the house.”
“Thanks,” Ratatosk told him, holding the mug carefully in both paws as he took a drink. “Hey this is the good slosh. Your brew?”
“Of course,” Govannon nodded. “What do you need from Lugh there?” Ratatosk explained about the storm and how Anuenue had gone missing in the Celtic Divine Plain afterward. “Yeah, that was quite some storm,” Govannon agreed.
“You felt it here?” Ratatosk asked.
“This place connects to several related regions on the Divine Plain,” Govannon explained, “and it had reflections in the Mortal World.”
“Any idea where its source was?” Ratatosk asked.
“The divine aspect was stronger than the mortal one,” Govannon replied, “but from here I couldn’t guess the direction.”
“Neither could I,” Ratatosk admitted, “but it was worth asking.” He took another long sip of his ale.
“No!” they heard Lugh shout at the women. “I’m not going to help anyone associated with that thing.” He was pointing at Ratatosk.
“Yes you will, Lugh,” Govannon told him. “You can’t afford to refuse. Your tab is too high, but I’ll forgive one quarter of it if you help those ladies.”
Lugh thought about that and countered with, “The whole tab and credit for next time I stop in.”
“Half the tab, and that’s the best offer I’ll make.”
“Very well,” Lugh agreed, “but you’ll wait until I get back for the money.”
“How much does he owe you?” Ratatosk asked Govannon quietly.
Govannon glanced over at Lugh’s table and counted. “Half of twelve Irish Coffees.”
“Six drinks?” Ratatosk asked. “He agreed to help us for the cost of only six lousy drinks?”
“They were very good drinks,” Govannon corrected him, “but yes. He’s a notorious cheapskate.”
“He must be if he’s been nursing those drinks. How long has he been here?”
“Six weeks,” Govannon replied. “If I had felt like it, I could have gotten him for the price of a single drink, but it would have meant arguing like a fishwife for a couple of hours and I’m too old to enjoy that nonsense any longer. Frankly, I’d have forgiven the whole bill to get him out of here for a week. He’s been bringing down the mood around here ever since he lost that battle with the Egyptian goddess.”
“Hey, you wouldn’t catch me trying to wrestle with Isis,” Ratatosk pointed out. “I take it, though, that was a blow to the ego of the macho man there?”
“Yeah,” Govannon agreed “and he cries when he gets drunk. Pathetic. I’m hoping doing something useful might turn him around and if not, then at least I don’t have to listen to him for a while.”
“You could come along,” Ratatosk suggested.
“Ye gods, no!” Govannon swore.
“Ratty!” Miu called. “Get over here.”
“Sounds like you’re needed,” Govannon told him.
Ratatosk looked like he was about to say something, but instead just shook his head and muttered, “Nah… too easy.” He took his mug of ale and went back to Lugh’s table. “Okay, just let me finish my drink and we’re off,” he told the others.
“Actually,” Iris told him, “we’re trying to decide where to look next. So far we’ve only started explaining the situation to Lugh.”
“You should have mentioned Mercury was missing too,” Lugh told them. “He’s a related aspect of mine. I would have agreed to help him in any case.”
“Our first concern is Anuenue,” Iris maintained, “so unless we find Hermes on the way, we intend to search for her first.”
“Fair enough,” Lugh agreed, “but you are looking for Mercury, right?”
“Since he seems to have gone missing as well and at the about the same time I ran into trouble,” Iris nodded, “then yes.”
“Good,” Lugh nodded. “If I had not been here all this time I might have been caught as well.”
“You travel by rainbow too?” Miu asked.
“No,” Lugh shook his head, “but my sling is a rainbow.” He pointed at a nearby corner where a pole leaning against the wall had a glowing rainbow hanging from one end.
“Pretty,” Miu commented dryly. “I wonder how I missed that.”
“Too many distractions,” Ratatosk told her.
“My rod sling is very useful at finding people and things,” Lugh assured her, “but before we go off, we should consult the Morrigan.”
“Who?” Miu asked.
“The Phantom Queen,” Lugh explained. “You have spoken to the Dagda and with me, but neither of us has seen your companion. However, very little happens in Tir na nOg that escapes all three of us. Perhaps this will be a waste of time, but we shall not know for certain until we try.”
Ratatosk looked around. “What happened to Triple Girl?”
“You mean Brigid?” Iris clarified. “She left while you were cadging drinks from Govannon.”
“Maybe we can just invite this Morrigan to join us here?” Ratatosk countered. “I’ve only half-finished this beer and it’s too good to rush.”
“She was in just last week,” Lugh replied. “She is not a pretty drunk, trust me on that.”
“I thought she was supposed to be an evil witch,” Iris remarked.
“I think that depends on what time of month you meet her,” Lugh replied.
“Excuse me,” Iris demanded with a touch of fire in her voice.
Lugh thought about what he had just said and replied, “That was not what I had in mind, although it might apply regardless. In some of the old tales she is an evil hag who can change form as she desires. One of her favorite forms is that of a crow which many people see as ominous. However, while many modern versions of her emphasize her wicked side, she is not a flat caricature of villainy. Think, instead, of her as one of the Fates, perhaps.”
“Or one of the Furies on a bad day,” Ratatosk remarked. “Alecto running with scissors.”
“Who’s Alecto?” Miu asked.
“You’ve met Evrona,” Ratatosk replied. “I think Alecto is her great great grandmother. One of the original Erinyes or Furies.” He finished off his beer. “Okay, I could use another two or three of these, but I seem to have left my wallet in the Tree. Let’s just get this over with.”
“This way,” Lugh told them and headed for the back door. When he opened the door, however, the scene on the other side looked nothing like the one they had left a short time earlier.
The area of Tir na nOg where the Dagda lived had been bright and sunny with rich green grass and with trees beginning to show their fall colors. This landscape looked like the celestial gardener had been slacking off. The area around the Dagda’s cottage did not look as though the grass had been mowed. Rather it appeared that the grass only grew and inch long because it understood that was its perfect length. Here, however, the grass was verging on waist high in some spots and absolutely missing in others.
“Good thing there are no deer ticks in Tir na nOg,” Miu remarked. “I’ve already had to pick two off in Hattamesset, but this place looks like tick heaven.”
“Just so,” Lugh told her, “this is where ticks and other vermin go to die. But I would not worry about an insect bite. Just be hopeful that the Morrigan is in a good mood today. That is her castle ahead.” He pointed to an impressive structure that Walt Disney would have drooled over with tall spindled towers of crystal and opal and crenellated walls of pink granite at least one hundred feet tall. The walls only surrounded the keep on three sides, however, because the entire castle was perched on the edge of a thousand-foot high cliff that overlooked the ocean. The sun was deep red and near the western horizon as they approached with dark clouds overhead and a bright bloody streak of light across the dark water below.
“I love the castle!” Miu enthused. “It’s beautiful. And you say this is the home of evil?”
“No,” Lugh shook his head, “This is the home of the Morrigan. Do not be deceived by the scriblings and tall tales of mortals. The Morrigan is neither good nor evil. She is a necessary part of this universe. She is the balance to those who are good and to those who are evil. She does frequently prophesize the death of heroes, that is true, but She is the counter to those who must be balked. Mortal writers have attempted to merge her with the great villainesses of history and literature; Morgan le Fay… Lilith…”
“Cruella DeVille,” Ratatosk added.
“Maybe,” Lugh admitted, unable to completely stifle a grin. “If She is in a good mood, however, her advice may help.”
“And if she tells you, you’re going to die?” Ratatosk asked.
“Hardly news to me,” Lugh laughed. “I die at least once each cycle. By now I am used to it.”
Like the empty castle of the Dagda, the Morrigan’s front gate was wide open and unguarded. “Well, who would even try to attack?” Lugh asked when Miu questioned that. “There are few enough would would come here willingly.” However, when they found the Morrigan at the far end of a large hall, she appeared as three identical women all deep in conversation with three Brigids. As they started to cross the hall, however, they somehow could draw no nearer to the pair of triplets. “That old trick,” Lugh sighed. “Stop walking, troops. The ladies want some privacy.”
“What’s wrong?” Miu asked.
“It appears Brigid the Saintly foresaw we would be stopping by and decided to spare us some time got here ahead of us. I guess that’s why she didn’t stick around Govannon’s for a Margarita as usual.”
“Somehow I didn’t have her pegged as a Margerita girl,” Iris commented. “a sip or two of a good whiskey, perhaps, but…”
“At home, perhaps, but when out at Govannon’s, if she is not downing Margaritas, then it’s Mojitos and Daiquiris. I think she likes the lime juice.”
“So at least she doesn’t have to worry about scurvy,” Ratatosk pointed out. Lugh gave him an expression that was half-shrug and half-nod.
They had to wait for nearly half an hour until both women merged their tripartite aspects and walked toward them. “Good news,” Brigid told them. “The Morrigan has graciously consented to help.”
“If that’s the good news,” Ratatosk commented, “What’s the bad?”
“Squirrel stew for dinner again,” the Morrigan replied in a deep and raspy voice.
“What was with the three-way conference?” Miu asked Brigid.
“That’s the fastest and most powerful way to communicate when two or more tripartite beings get together,” Brigid replied. “Not only was I able to talk very fast, but three times at once, but I was able to cover a lot of arguments in a relatively short time.”
“I sense there is a great and dangerous power loose in the world,” the Morrigan told them, She looke dat Lugh and demanded, “Give me your sling.” She held her hand out expectantly.
“Why?” Lugh asked suspiciously. The Morrigan arched a single eyebrow at him and kept her arm extended. “Oh very well,” he sighed and handed the weapon to her.
The rainbow sling began to glow brighter the moment she touched the rod section of the weapon. Rather than wielding it as though about to use it to throw something, she merely waved it gently around at her eye level. It was then that Miu noticed how short the Morrigan was. Miu stood five feet and four inches in her stocking feet – slightly better than average in her homeland – but she noticed the Morrigan was several inches shorter than her and yet the older woman held herself as though she towered over everyone. Miu found herself admiring the Morrigan’s self-confidence.
“It comes with a price,” the Morrigan spoke softly. When Miu looked again the woman appeared to be in a trance with her eyes closed and she was unsure if those words had been spoken to her or to the entire party. The Morrigan was silent again for a long time and then finally opened her eyes and handed the rod sling back to Lugh. “I have found a trail that leads to a foreign goddess who has a close relationship to rainbows and attuned your rainbow to her. I do not know for certain that it is the one you seek, of course, but she fits your desciption.”
With that the Morrigan started walking away, but as she passed Miu once again, she paused and shot the kitsune an appraising glance and then nodded. With a thin smile, she murmured the word, “Interesting,” before moving on toward the back of the hall where she slowly disappeared into the shadows. They all just stared at the spot where she had vanished for a long moment.
“Let’s hear it for the Morrigan, ladies and gentlemen!” Ratatosk finally broke the silence. “She’ll be here all week.”
“I don’t understand,” Lugh admitted as they exited the Morrigan’s castle.
“What’s that, big man?” Ratatosk chuckled.
“I don’t understand why you are still alive,” Lugh confessed. “I die every cycle, but you?”
“I’m very good at ducking,” Ratatosk replied. “Besides, I’m a squirrel. What glory does a fierce warrior like you get from killing a squirrel no matter how oversized?”
“I might get a good meal out of it,” Lugh replied, “and a fur cape.”
“You might,” Ratatosk admitted, “but how long do you stay angry at animals? The answer is, you don’t. You might have killed me back at the pub. That was spur of the moment, but deep down you know full well that no bard is going to sing the praises of Lugh the Squirrel Slayer.”
“Let’s try that sling of yours,” Iris suggested. “How does it work?”
“I just need to swing it around like this,” Lugh told her and he waved the rod in the same manner the Morrigan had. Suddenly, he swung it way back and made a cast with the weapon which flung the rainbow out and away from them. “Follow me,” he called as he stepped out on to the rainbow and shot out of sight.
“Uh?” Miu asked, but Iris grabbed her hand and stepped on to the rainbow, dragging the kitsune along with her.
“Great!” Ratatosk remarked. “I can’t do that.” Just in case he tried to step onto to the rainbow and found his foot went right through it. “Bifrost, this ain’t, but there is always another way,” he remarked to himself and returned to the branches of Yggdrasil.
On the rainbow, it was all Miu could do to keep from screaming as she and Iris rushed through the supernatural sky and then started heading back down toward land. The ground rushed up toward them and Miu reflexively held on ever tighter to Iris’ hand. They plummeted faster and faster, but then Iris did something to slow down their approach and a moment later they were standing on the ground near the mouth of a cave. “That’s quite some grip you have, girl!” Iris groaned as she pried her hand free.
“Sorry,” Miu replied. “I wasn’t expecting anything like that. We won’t have to do that again, will we?”
“My vision does not extend to the future,” Iris admitted, “so we might. Is there a problem?”
“Nothing I can’t learn to handle,” Miu replied grimly. “A little warning next time might help though. Where are we?”
“At the end of the rainbow,” Lugh replied. There was a chorus of screams from within the cave and a scant second later six small bearded men, dressed in red finery and swinging stout walking sticks from their narrow ends so that the orange, glowing knobs at the top were effective clubs. Lugh, swung the rod section of his sling at them, but two of the attackers’ clubs hit it and knocked it up and out of his reach and only a prodigious acrobatic leap, carried him up and away from the follow-up attack. He landed directly behind one of the little men and picked him up by his ankles.
Lugh swung the man at his fellows, who backed quickly out of the way and the one whose ankles he held swung his glowing walking stick at Lugh’s arm. The arm went limp and the little man got free. However, before he could press his advantage, Lugh reached upward and drew a spear seemingly from out of thin air. One of the little men scored one last hit at Lugh’s left leg and he fell, but as he did so he released the spear.
The spear flew at each of the attackers in turn and they fought like demons just to stay alive. After only a few minutes they turned and ran away, their clothing badly torn and bloodied. From where he was on the ground, Lugh held his hand up and the spear rushed back to him. A moment later he put it back wherever it had been before the fight.
“Are you all right?” Miu asked worriedly as she rushed to Lugh’s side.
“I’ll be fine,” Lugh assured her. “The spell on those shillelaghs only lasts a few minutes. My arm is already starting to tingle.”
“What were those?” Miu asked.
“Leprechauns,” Lugh replied. “They are debased Tuatha De Danann, although they are not normally so fierce and are normally solitary. I wonder what they were doing here.”
“There may not be a pot of gold here,” Ratatosk pointed out as he exited the cave, doing what he could to help support Anuenue, “but there was a treasure at the end of that rainbow of yours.”
“Those were leprechauns?” Iris asked as she turned her attention to Anuenue.
“Yes,” Lugh replied, “Those are the traditional sort, not exactly the friendly little sprites modern mortals have made them out to be although that sort has been cropping up lately as well.”
“At least they weren’t trying to sell us breakfast cereal,” Ratatosk commented. “I have to watch my sugar intake.”
“How are you?” Iris asked Anuenue.”
“I’ll be okay,” Anuenue assured her. “I’m just a bit stiff. They had me tied up in there.”
“What happened?” Miu asked. “How did they capture you?”
Anuenue sighed. “The rainbow I was riding suddenly merged with another. The next thing I knew I was all tied up in that cave.”
“Leprechauns cannot have been the cause of that,” Lugh shook his head. “They just don’t have that kind of magic.”
“They weren’t,” Anuenue told them. “I heard them talking. Someone stole their treasure and is holding it ransom. They would only get it back by trading rainbow users for it. I was just the first captive. They were going to need five of us.”
“Five?” Iris asked. “How many of us actually ride on rainbows?”
“I think the trap was made to attract the attention of anyone using a rainbow,” Anuenue replied. “The job of the leprechauns was to use their clubs to capture anyone who showed up here. I feel sorry for them, though.”
“Don’t,” Lugh advised. “They are debased creatures, made small and mean by mortal imaginations.”
“Perhaps,” Anuenue allowed, “but the treasure stolen was theirs.”
“And how do you think they got it?” Lugh countered. “Did that lot look like miners?”
“Sure,” Ratatosk laughed. “I distinctly recognized Grumpy, Bashful, Sneezy, Doc and Dopey.”
“We should probably be off again before they come back,” Iris suggested and Ratatosk started singing “Hi Ho.”
“I can fight them off,” Lugh replied. He started to glare at the squirrel and then realized Ratatosk thrived on that sort of attention and instead decided to ignore him.
“Not if they surprise you by knocking you on the head,” Miu pointed out. “But where to next?”
“The Morrigan’s spell is still on my sling,” Lugh pointed out as he got to his feet. He walked a few feet to where the weapon had landed during the fight and picked it up. Just as he had done the last time, he waved it around. As he did, the rainbow sling merged with the big rainbow that had led them to this cave. Lugh lifted the rod once more, his muscles straining and cast the sling in a different direction. The large rainbow was lifted up and moved around until it faced an entirely different direction. “That way, now,” Lugh told them.
He stepped back on to the Rainbow and shot out of sight. Iris looked at Anuenue and told her, “This will be easier on Miu if we keep her between us.” She held Miu’s right hand and Anuenue took her left
“Hey!” Ratatosk complained. “What about me?”
“Take my hand, little hero,” Anuenue told him, holding out her remaining hand.
Together all four stepped on to the rainbow as Ratatosk started singing, “We’re off to see the wizard…”
This time the rainbow ride was a longer and less alarming one to Miu. Instead of plummeting directly at the ground, they came down at a much shallower angle and eventually stepped off into a mountainous landscape of grasslands and tall trees displaying the bright reds, oranges and yellows of autumn. “Where are we now?” Anuenue asked.
“It’s not Ireland,” Lugh remarked.
“There are a lot of places that are not Ireland,” Ratatosk pointed out. “I’m almost certain this isn’t Fiji either. I don’t see a single palm tree, and where’s my Mai Tai?”
“Would you settle for a shot of Rakija?” Iris asked. “I think we’re somewhere within the Slavic region of the Divine Plain. I was here about a year ago.”
“What’s that sticking in the ground?” Miu asked, pointing off to their left. They turned to see a staff of gold stuck in the ground. It had a circular finial with a small pair of wings attacked to the top. There was also a pair of snakes, tightly wrapped around the shaft.
“It’s the caduceus or kerukeion of Hermes,” Iris identified it as she drew closer. “I had hoped to find him with it, however. It differs from my own in a few details, but the most noticeable is that mine does not have the snakes.”
“But what is it doing here?” Anuenue asked.
“I don’t know,” Iris shook her head, “but I think it best if I bring it back to Olympus if we fail to find Hermes himself. She reached down and pulled the caduceus out of the ground and was startled by a sudden flash of lightning and a crack of thunder that erupted the moment it came free.
“Hold!” a loud voice shouted at them. The turned to see a large man with rugged features and a copper-colored beard driving a chariot drawn by a large goat. “How do you dare to trespass on My territory?”
“I see the circus is in town,” Ratatosk remarked. “Do you think he drives that rig through hoops of fire?”
“Hush, Ratty,” Iris hissed at him, but Lugh was drawing himself up to face the challenger.
“Any who are you to deny us passage?” he demanded.
“I am Perun!” the stranger boomed in response. “I am the thunder and I am the lightning. This land is my domain and outsiders who come here do so only with my permission or else face my wrath.”
“We are sorry to intrude,” Iris began, but Lugh cut her off.
“And I am Lugh Long Arm,” he told Perun, “son of Cian of the Tuatha De Danann. It is I who defeated Balor of the Evil Eye at the Battle of Mag Tuireadh and that is the least of my accomplishments…”
“Then why lead with that?’ Ratatosk asked.
“Hush!” Miu told him, showing him her sharp teeth.
“I…” Lugh started to continue, but Perun was not impressed.
“I care not for the meaningless boasts of barbarians,” Perun replied.
“He’s wearing rough cloth and furs and calls us the barbarians?” Anuenue wondered.
“The original meaning of the word was simply foreigners,” Iris reminded her while Lugh and Perun got into their shouting and bragging match, each loudly proclaiming all the men gods and monsters they had defeated. As they did so, Perun stepped out of his chariot and step by step he and Lugh approached each other, continuing to brag loudly. When they came within arm’s reach of one another, they gripped each other’s shoulders and began to wrestle. “Men!” Iris snorted and stepped forward.
The two warriors continued to grapple as Ratatosk shouted jeers and encouragements to them both. “You really aren’t helping, you know,” Miu pointed out.
Iris waited patiently until Perun threw Lugh a good twenty yards away, but even as Lugh picked himself back up and started charging back at the Slavic god, Iris stepped in between them and shouted, “Stop!” The two men just stared at her and in the silence she continued. “The business we are on is too important to all of us to allow you two to get your daily exercise. Divine Perun, I apologize for intruding on behalf of all of us.”
“Not me,” Lugh grumbled.
“Shut it, you,” Iris told him and turned back to Perun. “In this latest cycle many parts of the Divine plain have experienced a certain mixing and collegial tolerance, probably due to the Celestial League. Deities and other supernatural beings from many mythos have been mixing and visiting one another openly. It is easy to forget that we all once defended our borders with the same zeal you do. When I last visited this region, the deities I met at the time did not resent my presence.”
“I do not object to the peaceful visits of my neighbors,” Perun replied, “but when they invade aggressively I must take action. I found that magic staff,” he indicated Hermes’ caduceus, “following a storm that was completely out of my control and set it here to catch the unwelcome aggressor on his return.”
“Hermes remains a thief at heart,” Iris commented, “but he would not have left this behind. It is his badge of office and marks him as the herald of Zeus. If you found it here, something must have happened that prevented him from taking it with him.” She went on to explain the mission they were on.
“You think they seek a monopoly of rainbows?” Perun asked at the end of her recitation.
“It is the best we can come up with, given how many of us who are associated with rainbows have been involved,” Iris replied.
“My bow is a rainbow,” Perun remarked, “but I have not had the occasion to use it recently. If armed I am more likely to use my axe or hammer, but I can send arrows of fire and lightning as well. One moment.” He returned to his chariot and picked up a bow from a pair of hooks that held it in place. “Yes, I see,” he remarked after a minute of contemplation. “Had I used this, I too might have been trapped. It is not to be endured.”
“You are welcome to join us,” Anuenue remarked.
“Sure,” Ratatosk commented. “They’ll hear us coming three worlds away. Big guy, you’re mighty, but loud.”
“I know a mouthy hedgehog two or three worlds away,” Perun told Ratatosk. “I do not like him either. Any relation?”
“We’re both mammals,” Ratatosk shrugged.
“We are still looking for Hermes, the owner of this caduceus,” Iris told Perun. “I don’t know how long it will take to find him. Once we know what or who we are dealing with we may need your assistance but until then I would not want to waste your time. I imagine you do have responsibilities here.”
Perun nodded and told her, “You are correct, but when you find whoever is behind this indignity, please let me know.”
“I will,” she promised.
“I will be letting you continue on your own,” Lugh told them with a glance at Perun.
“Are we tiring you out already, sling boy?” Ratatosk asked.
Lugh glared at him but rather than rise to the squirrel’s bait, he said, “I have some unfinished business here.”
“We both do,” Perun agreed. “Come with me. We shall discuss this over some mead.”
“Men!” Miu sighed.
“I can detect a trail with Hermes’ kerukeion,” Iris told the others as Lugh and Peron rode off together in the thunder god’s chariot.
“A trail?” Miu asked.
“Sort of,” Iris admitted. “Two objects that have been in contact always remain in contact. It is basic contagious magic. The stronger the association, the cleared the connection. A caduceus or kerukeion is attuned to the user and to a lesser extent, to the god for whom he or she speaks. In this case, I can see which way Hermes went, or was taken after he dropped the staff here.”
“Another rainbow?” Miu asked, betraying a touch of nervousness.
“I do not think we should risk it,” Anuenue replied. “I can feel a tug. I think someone is… well I do not know if they are looking for us or if they are just fishing for other rainbow users, but it feels like the same sort of trap I fell into. I think we should use another mode of travel.”
“Good idea,” Ratatosk agreed. “Especially since we know they are trying to trap rainbow users at this very moment, Besides, as you may have noticed, I can get there via Yggdrasil as rapidly as you travel somewhere over the rainbow. So where to?”
“I’m not sure,” Iris admitted. “Let’s see where this takes us.”
They followed a twisted path through the branches of the World Tree. “Are you deliberately taking us in circles?” Ratatosk demanded.
Iris explained. “Something or someone is confusing the trail. It’s as though we cannot go directly, but I keep trying to.”
“Perhaps we cannot get to where we are going directly,” Anuenue suggested.
“Yes,” Miu agreed. “Sometimes the shortest path is the long way around and when the path is obstructed as it is now, the best way to proceed is by the path of least resistance.”
“That’s also a good way to fall into a trap,” Ratatosk told her.
“Then we need to be alert for such traps,” Miu replied. “Iris, let’s see where the staff wants us to go.”
“That’s the problem,” Iris admitted. “The kerukeion wants to go directly to Hermes, but that way is blocked.”
“So go around,” Miu told her. “There must be a way to get there even if we have to stop in a hundred other places first. It has been my experiences that the only way to keep a destination totally unreachable is by isolating it from reality and if you do that, you can neither get in nor get out. It becomes a self-made prison from which there is no escape.”
“That cannot be the case here,” Anuenue told them. “If whoever is behind this is that isolated they could not continue to work their rainbow trap, whatever it is.”
“Then let’s see where the easy path takes us,” Iris shrugged.
“Yeah,” Ratatosk agreed sarcastically, “but just in case, let’s spread out a bit. Maybe go in pairs? That way if the first pair gets trapped maybe the second can get them out again.”
“That is actually a very good idea,” Iris commended him. “All right, Anuenue, you stay with me. Miu, you hang back a bit with the tree-rat.”
Miu glanced over at Ratatosk who looked like he was far too happy about something. “Don’t say it,” she warned him.
“But…”
“Shh!” Miu hissed. “You’re having a good moment, don’t ruin it.”
“Of course not,” Ratatosk grumbled. “I’ll just leave that to the pro.”
They moved on and a short time later found themselves on the upper slopes of a mountain. All around them they saw other mountains, but from their vantage point the others were obviously not as tall as the one they were on. “We’re back in the Olympian world,” Iris reported.
“Doesn’t look like Olympus to me,” Ratatosk observed.
“It’s not,” Iris replied. “The Olympian region of the Divine Plain is large enough to hold the whole of Europe and the lands surrounding the Mediterranean Basin. In our time, we got everywhere. I’m not sure exactly where we are, but we seem to be on a path to the summit. Let’s see what’s up there.”
They found two men seated at an oversized table playing a board game. They were both larger than normal, but while it was difficult to tell while they were sitting, Miu estimated they stood at least two meters tall and were both built like wrestlers. “Atlas?” Iris asked, “Prometheus? Strange finding you two together.”
“I do not see why you are surprised,” Prometheus responded in a very deep voice. “We are contemporaries and have much in common, and a game is a pleasant way to pass the time.”
“Is that Backgammon?” Miu asked.
“It is Tavli,” Atlas replied. His voice, while not quite so deep as that of Prometheus, was still a solid basso. “It is similar to the standard Backgammon game and the board is pretty much the same, but there are several differences in play. Iris, what brings you here? Does Hera send us a message?”
“I am here on a mission of my own,” Iris replied and then asked, “Have you seen Hermes lately?”
“Not at all in the past cycle,” Prometheus shrugged. “Why? Was he supposed to be here?”
“I am following a trail,” Iris explained. “It seemed to come here, but the trail is obstructed. Maybe this was an unnecessary detour. I’m sorry if we disrupted your game.”
“A break in the routine is always welcome,” Atlas replied.
“Pardon me,” Miu interupted. “I have read the mythology of ancient Greece. Aren’t you both supposed to be imprisoned for eternity?”
Prometheus laughed. “Eternity is a very long time. I am not sure anything lasts for all eternity or even if it should. Life is ever-changing. When we stop changing, we die, both figuratively and literally. However, as it happens, you obviously have not studied the complete corpus of our mythology or you might remember that Heracles released both Atlas and me. Since then, we have been living peacefully and, as the modern people might say, beneath Zeus’ radar.”
“Oh, He knows we’re out and about,” Atlas chuckled, “but so long as we’re not causing him problems he has more important issues to deal with than us. You know, Ratatosk, you might think of taking a page from our book. I’ve been hearing rumbles out of Asgard.”
“Huh?” Ratatosk asked, turning around to look at Atlas. “Sorry I guess I was distracted. Uh, rumbles out of Asgard? Thor must have indigestion again.”
“A little too late and too little,” Miu told him. “Are you all right?”
“Look around,” Ratatosk told her. “What do you see?”
Miu turned around in a slow circle, “It feels like I can see the whole world.”
“Exactly,” Ratatosk replied. “This place is like the top of Yggdrasil. “Hey, big guys, does Jael stop in for tea here too?”
“Who?” Atlas asked.
“Never mind,” Ratatosk shook his head. “Anyway, that’s why I wasn’t really listening. I’m used to this sort of vista on the Tree, but not here. This actually looks more real.”
“More real?” Miu asked. “I think you’re just confused because this is not your usual environment.”
“No,” Ratatosk told her. “The view from Yggdrasil is somewhat metaphorical. For example, from there when you see clouds they aren’t always real clouds, but are the manifestations of the actions of those trying to hide something. What you see out there are real clouds. You can tell the difference when you know what to look for.”
“Actually, you cannot see the whole world from here,” Atlas told him. “We are just really high up, over two miles in fact. So we can see a lot further than you can at sea level and we’re above some of the clouds, so you have the illusion of seeing the whole world, but in reality you cannot even see the entire Olympian region of the Divine Plain.”
“The air is pretty thick for this high above sea level,” Miu remarked, “and warm especially since it is the middle of the autumn. Shouldn’t there be snow here by now?”
“Shh!” Prometheus responded with a grin. “We’re cheating. Actually up here we should see snow on the ground all year round, but this is the Divine Plain and we have some flexibility.”
“I live on the Japanese Divine Plain,” Miu told him. “We can’t change the climate.”
“I said we were cheating!” Prometheus laughed. “We’ve tapped into global warming. Climate change is a bad thing ecologically, but Atlas and I found we could direct just enough of the heat to this small section of our mountain to make it nice and comfy all year round.”
“That’s got to upset the balance somewhere else,” Miu remarked.
“That’s the beauty of it,” Atlas rumbled. “We’re actually helping to maintain the balance by redirecting the heat here. The effect is minimal since we are not affecting a very large area, but the only place out of balance is right here and only here on the Divine Plain and that’s just fine with us.”
“Iris,” Prometheus told her. “Given all that has happened, I think I speak for both Atlas and myself when I say that I do not think either of us owe Zeus or his messengers anything, but it has been many cycles since our release and you tell us that someone is attempting to gain a monopoly on the power of the rainbows. I cannot see how that might affect the Olympians, but I can see how it would have an adverse effect on the Mortal World. I created Mankind, on this part of the Divine Plain at least, and I have always felt responsible for the mortals.”
“I, too, feel a responsibility for the Mortals,” Atlas added. “I have been forgotten among the gods, but Mortal men have remembered and respected me in many ways. Even in this current cycle they honor me as the god of Astronomy, even if they do not do so as a religious belief. It is also certain that the one behind your troubles is misguided. This cycle is far too new and this is the worst possible time for the new Titanomachy she plans.”
“Who?” Iris demanded.
“What’s a Titanomachy?” Anuenue asked at the same time.
“The Titanomachy is the name Mortals have for the war that was once fought between the titans of old under Cronus and the Olympians under Zeus,” Atlas explained, answering Anuenue’s question first. “I was the war leader of the Titans and after we lost the war and most of the rest of my army was cast into Tartarus as punishment. I was set to supporting the Heavens on my shoulders, until Hercules came by and released me. Some tales say I continue with that burden, but once released I was able to allow my burden to rest on those mountains that bear my name. However, just in case, I maintain my vigil from here, should there come a time when I must hold up the sky personally.”
“But who is behind this?” Iris demanded again. “Who is attempting to make war on Olympus?”
“Why, your own sister,” Atlas replied. “Arke,”
“You have a sister?” Anuenue asked Iris.
“I had a sister,” Iris replied. “I lost her when she chose to side with the enemy in the war.”
Atlas shrugged and pointed out, “if you were to ask her, I am certain Arke would say that you chose to side with the rebels and that she chose to uphold the rightful rulers of Heaven.” Iris glared at him. “It’s all a matter of perspective,” he went on. “Old Cronus was no one’s prize, I will admit, but Zeus was only in a position to replace him because of Rhea’s treachery, or as some might say, because she responded to the promptings of her motherly love. In retrospect, I think She was right, but at the time Cronus was my king.”
“Because he, in turn, murdered old Uranus,” Prometheus added.
“Yes,” Atlas agreed.
“But who is this Arke?” Anuenue asked. “I know she is your sister, but…”
“Was my sister,” Iris repeated. “We grew up together. Never were two sisters closer, but she made her choice and I made mine. Just as I am the herald of Juno, she chose to serve Cronus when even his wife, when most of the titanesses in fact, refused to. When Zeus threw the Titans into Tartarus, he ripped off her wings, which were iridescent just as mine are golden, and threw her into the pit with the rest of those who opposed him.”
“But if she was only the messenger…” Anuenue started.
“Hey, babe,” Ratatosk told her, “remember what I said about shooting the messengers around here.”
“She did more than merely carry messages,” Iris replied, “as did I. In a war between the gods, there are no noncombatants.”
“Arke is the deity associated with the secondary rainbow,” Atlas explained. “The faded and reversed one you see in the sky sometimes. It’s not a surprise that the two of you made opposite decisions, you know,” he added to Iris. “Just as your associative rainbows are the reverse of each other, so too were the two of you. Always close together but opposite.”
“But I thought she was still in Tartarus,” Iris told him. “How long has she been on the loose?”
“Since the end of the last cycle,” Prometheus told her. “One of the major battles between the forces of Order and Chaos was fought at the Gates of Tartarus and in the struggle one of the gates got knocked off its hinges.”
“What?” Miu asked. “Are you saying your underworld is so primitive that all it has to hold in its prisoners is an actual gateway?”
“No,” Atlas shook his head, “That is not all that holds in those consigned to Tartarus, but when the gate was damaged so too were the other defenses.”
“How many escaped?” Iris asked.
“Just Arke,” Prometheus replied. “Those whose job it is to maintain Tartarus repaired the gates quickly, but not before Arke was able to slip outside. Since then, she has been trying to free the other titans. She came to both of us, trying to enlist our aid, but we advised her to be patient. The time of the Titans has passed and if there is a time for us again it has not yet arrived. Those of us who are not imprisoned have our own continuing functions and we stick to them.”
“Where is Arke now?” Iris demanded, “and what has she done to Hermes?”
“That, I cannot say,” Prometheus replied. “Once we turned her down, Arke refuse to discuss any of her plans with us.”
“You might try talking to Rhea,” Atlas added. “You will remember the titanesses, in general, supported Zeus and therefore remain free. You will find Rhea on Mount Ida.”
“We will find Phoebe in her temple,” Rhea told them as they arrived at Delphi the next morning.
It had taken the rest of the day to find the mother of the Olympian gods, but only because they had wrongfully assumed that she would be living in the Divine aspect of Mount Ida, the highest peak on Crete. When she was not there, Iris recalled that there was another mountain of the same name in Turkey and that, in antiquity, both were considered sacred to Rhea. When she was not there either, Ratatosk pointed out she might have been staying in the Mortal World. This led them to look through nearby towns and resorts to no avail until Miu, using her phone, happened to look up other uses of the name, “Mount Ida.”
They eventually found Rhea in west-central Arkansas sipping ouzo with a good-looking younger man named Steve who told them he was a professional rock-climber. “The things you can do for money these days,” Ratatosk commented as Steve went off to order more drinks.
“They needed something for all the would-be gladiators to do,” Rhea laughed. “Actually I am glad you all showed up. Steve was starting to bore me. He is so mundane I don’t think he even noticed one of you is a talking squirrel even without my little illusion. Do you always just stroll through the mortal world like that? In this part of the country a hunter might decide you could feed his family for weeks.”
“Only if they tried strapping an apron on me,” Ratatosk replied. “More likely they’d mount my head on the wall. What the heck are you doing here?”
“Everyone has to be some place,” Rhea responded, “and I was tired of places like Florida and St. Moritz. Let’s see we have Iris, an Olympian, a white-haired kitsune from Japan, a squirrel straight off the boughs of Yggdrasil and, uh Tahiti?”
“Oahu,” Anuenue responded.
“This has to be more interesting than the cliffs Steve has been climbing,” Rhea remarked. “I think I’ll just redirect him a bit. There, now he’ll join those two ladies in the corner.”
“With our drinks?” Ratatosk protested.
“That stuff is poison to you,” Rhea pointed out.
“And you have a problem with that?” Ratatosk asked. “I’m touched.”
“Yes, you are,” she retorted, but she turned to a conveniently passing waitress and ordered, “Bring us a bottle of the ‘Pitsiladi,’ please, with a pitcher of spring water and enough glasses to go around. All right, someone other than the Sciurus vulgaris here start talking.”
They spent the rest of the night explaining why they had ended up looking for her and aside from a few caustic remarks about sending a thank you note to Prometheus and Atlas, Rhea took the problem seriously. Two bottles of Ouzo later, with the sun rising over the nearby lake she decided that they were going to need someone able to see the unknown. “Delphi is the place,” she announced.
“There hasn’t been a Pythia there in many cycles,” Iris pointed out as they walked through the divine aspect of Dephi on the sloped of Mount Parnassus, “and I’ve never really trusted the Delphic Sibyl.”
“I agree,” Rhea told her. “No, we’re going to consult my sister, Phoebe. She’s always been the mother of prophesy to our pantheon.”
“I thought she had ceded her powers to Apollo,” Iris remarked.
“No,” Rhea shook her head, “She allowed him to take on the mantle of ‘god of prophets’ and to reign in Delphi, but no one could take her powers from her. There is her home.” She pointed at a small round building surrounded by a colonnade porch on which two people were seated.
“And Apollo frequently consults her,” Ratatosk added.
“Does he?” Miu asked.
“Well, maybe not,” the squirrel allowed, “but he’s with her right now. Look for yourself. Hey, Pretty Boy! How’s tricks?”
Apollo’s head snapped to his right and shot Ratatosk a look capable of launching a thousand thunderbolts had he been Zeus. As his head turned, they could all see five parallel scars across the left side of his face. They had long-since stopped bleeding, but were still bright red against his otherwise well-tanned features. “You!” he snarled, stepping forward, a miniature sun starting to form in his right hand.
“Yeah, Sunshine!” Ratatosk teased the sun god, “Let’s dance! Haven’t you heard? I’ll give you rabies. Should go great with that face paint my girl, Evrona, gave you.”
Apollo’s hand went instinctively to the scars on his face, but before he could respond, Phoebe took hold of his arm. “Calm down, grandson. You know full well that you brought those injuries on yourself. Even Zeus would fear to contend with the Erinyes.”
“It was just one,” Apollo told her, “and she was a child.”
“And so were you,” Phoebe told him calmly, tapping him on the forehead, “up here. Everyone, even the mightiest of gods must have balance and the Erinyes are a part of how that balance is maintained. Be thankful she was young yet. Megaera would have had you for a snack. Now settle down and be courteous in my house.”
Apollo grimaced for a moment only to notice the look of disapproval on Phoebe’s face, then he relented. “Yes, grandmother. Squirrel, you cannot help being the way you are and my real grudge is against Jael and her apprentice.”
“Let me know when you plan the rematch,” Ratatosk told him. “I want tickets to that one, but be careful what you wish for. Evie won’t be so nice to you next time and Jael won’t bother to treat you to a monologue before she consigns you to the next cycle.”
“A minor demoness?” Apollo laughed.
“She used to be a minor demoness, boychik,” Ratatosk told him. “She a lot more than that now. Try asking Inari about ‘Jael the Celestial’ or the few remaining frost giants about the ‘Destroyer’ sometime. You don’t have to take my advice, but in your case, I’d try sending her flowers, chocolates and a ton of ‘Sorry I ever messed with you and your friends’ apology cards.”
“I am sorry to cut into your playtime, both of you,” Rhea told them caustically, “but these ladies are investigating a real problem. I hope you might be able to assist, sister.”
Phoebe listened to Iris, Anuenue, Miu and even, one or twice, to Ratatosk and then considered the matter. “Most of us, that is the titanesses, stayed out the Titanomachy. Either we were directly opposed to Cronus’ actions or else we simply realized that our time had come. It was a choice between going down fighting or fading into obscurity with grace and dignity. The men chose to fight, the women chose to be graceful and do what was right. I cannot tell you where Arke is right now, nor has she been here to divulge her plans to me. She is working behind a cloud, just as you must do sometimes, Iris. However, there is one thing I can do to assist you. She gestured to the east and a ray of golden light shot out from her outstretched finger. “She will be with us shortly.”
“Who?” Anuenue asked. However, before Phoebe could reply the ray of light returned and grew into a wide sphere which tend condensed into the figure of a tall and muscular woman. She wore her long light brown hair in a braid that fell down her back. She was only partially covered by a short and sleeveless dark green dress, but on her feet she wore a pair of modern cross-trainers that were tan and matched the quiver that hung from a strap near her right shoulder. She also carried a powerful modern-made compound bow in one hand.
“My granddaughter, Artemis or Diana, if you prefer,” Phoebe introduced the newcomer.
“Grandmother,” Diana objected once Phoebe had brought her up to date, “it would not be comfortable for me to travel with him.”
“You’re not exactly my type either, toots,” Ratatosk shot back, “but I’m willing to put up with you.”
“See?” Apollo told Phoebe. “No one can tolerate the squirrel.”
“I’ll mention it to Odin next time I am in Asgard,” Phoebe shrugged. “Diana, dear, you must shelve your preferences. This is a modern world.”
“I understand that,” Diana nodded, “and, in spite of mortal stories about me, I have no particular aversion to men as companions, although I must say that my darling brother has done his best over the years to break up those relationships.”
“They were not worthy of you,” Apollo told her. “Besides, we both know you swing both ways.”
“And that is none of your business, brother,” she growled, but then she smiled. “What happened to your face? Pick the wrong girl this time?”
“I’ll say he did!” Ratatosk hooted. “Come with us and I’ll tell you all about it.”
Diana gave him a smile so wicked, Mona Lisa might have killed for it. “Yes, I think I would like to hear that story and it will help to pass the time as we travel. You need a hunter in this and that is one of my great strengths.”
“Maybe we should see about recruiting Lizzie too,” Miu considered. “I have been most impressed by her abilities.”
“Lizzie?” Iris asked. When Miu explained, Iris nodded, “Ah, Phix. She is a hunter, yes, but there is no one better than Diana.”
“Just as well,” Ratatosk nodded. “Lizzie is busy with her school.”
“Phix is a teacher now?” Diana asked, amazed. “I dare say you have a lot of stories for me. Well, let’s get started.
“It occurs to me,” Diana told them as they sat under the awning at the Café du Monde in New Orleans, “That perhaps you are overlooking the most obvious way to find Arke.”
From Delphi they had stopped in a number of spots around the Mediterranean where Arke had once been known to visit. On finding nothing, Diana had asked to see where Iris had been trapped in Illinois. After that, Iris suggested retracing their steps up to the time they found Rhea, but Diana shook her head and told them it was time to actually plan what they were going to do.
When Miu confessed she was hungry and Ratatosk seconded that, Iris decided that stopping for coffee and a snack might be a good idea. One suggestion led to another and all decided that café au lait and beignets might be in order, although Miu pointed out she might still look around for something with a bit of animal protein in it.
Diana took a bite of her beignet, sending small powdery cascade of sugar down to her plate. “Mmm, very nice! Now what was I saying? Oh yes. The key to a successful hunt is in finding your quarry in the least amount of time. Ancient mortals would have starved to death before chucking their first spear at a bison if they didn’t know where to find one in the first place. No. They could nab a hare or a hedgehog on the spur of the moment, but hunting the big game that was essential to survival took a deep understanding of the prey and superb planning skills. If you go out to hunt Mammoths, you have to know where they are. In fact, the ancient hunter would frequently dig a pit trap for the larger animals and they means they needed to understand their prey and to know where they would be and how they would behave.
“It is all well and good to say, ‘I think I will go hunt a deer today,’” she went on, “but you still need to have a general understanding of where you might find one or else you will more likely to be eating something other than venison that evening, assuming you find something to eat at all. So far, you all would be surviving, if you want to call it that, on nuts and late autumn berries. That’s okay for Ratatosk her, but…”
“No it’s not,” Ratatosk told her, reaching for another beignet. “You try surviving on nothing but fruit and nuts sometime… well… maybe in the form of granola, but even then variety is the spice and all that.”
“Point taken,” Diana nodded. “My point, however, is that you all have been going at this all wrong. There is a direct path to Arke and you should have used it as soon as you found out who you were dealing with.”
“You mean by following the rainbow?” Iris asked. “That is how I got caught in the first place.”
“You got caught because you were following the primary rainbow,” Diana told her. She finished her beignet. “These really are quite nice. I’ll have to come back here often. What I plan is to follow the secondary rainbow, the one Arke is associated with. She’s catching other rainbow gods and goddesses or seems to be, but, from your own account they all use the primary rainbows. There may be others, but Arke’s the only one I know who uses the faded secondary bow.”
“So you think that by following the secondary bow,” Miu asked, “we can sneak up on Arke from behind, in a sense.”
“In a sense,” Diana nodded. “We should come up on her while she is looking the other way.”
“And if she sees or feels us coming?” Anuenue asked. “She probably can. I know Iris and I, among others, have detected the tugs this Arke has made on our rainbows.”
“I believe we will still take her by surprise,” Diana replied. “Besides, a trap depends on the victim not knowing it is there.” She stood up and picked up her bow. “I intend to be armed and ready.”
“All right,” Iris agreed, taking one last sip of her coffee. “Let’s go.”
They walked across the street into Jackson Square. There were tourists all around them, but being New Orleans, most were ignoring them and the others appeared to be waiting for the show to begin. Iris summoned her rainbow, but there was no secondary bow to be seen. “The conditions are not right,” she explained. “With no trace of rain it’s only by my divine attributes I can get even this much.”
“Let’s try together,” Anuenue suggested. She closed her eyes and the rainbow grew much brighter and more substantial. For a moment that was all, but then the secondary bow formed just outside the primary one. “We work well together,” she told Iris with satisfaction.
Diana knocked an arrow on her bowstring and drew it back. “Let’s go!” she commanded. Anuenue took Miu by the hand while Iris grabbed Ratatosk’s paw and then stepped on to the secondary bow.
The trip only lasted as long as it took to breathe once. They inhaled the air in New Orleans and exhaled in… someplace dark.
At first they could see nothing, but after a few seconds their eyes began to adjust, this in time to see a woman whose face was nearly identical to Iris’ standing in front of them.
“Hypnos!” a woman who stood directly in front of them commanded. To Iris’ right, Diana slumped to the ground, her arrow shooting off into the darkness.
“Arke?” Iris asked. “What are you doing?”
“What do you think, sister?” Arke replied. “I am demanding my just vengeance. Now stand still or I’ll have Hypnos put you to sleep as well and that would be a shame since you would miss your trial.”
“What trial?” Iris demanded.
“You are in the court of Nemesis, dear sister,” Arke told her, “and I am demanding justice from you and all the gods of Olympus. Too bad you did not bring Zeus with you, but his time will come.”
“This is the court of Nemeis?” Iris asked, looking around. “I would have expected better lighting.”
“This is my home,” a woman who stood off to one side informed her. “I am playing host to Nemesis for the occasion.” She was dressed… no, she was completely wrapped in darkness. It just looked like she was wearing a black dress.
“Nyx?” Iris identified the elder goddess. “What grievance do you have with Olympus?”
“None at all,” Nyx replied. “I merely observe. Arke asked to use my cavern as a courtroom and I thought it might be interesting.”
“Arke, stop this nonsense!” Iris demanded, stepping toward her twin sister.
“No, you stop,” Arke replied stepping backwards. “I invoke the curse of Nemesis!”
Iris instantly felt herself unable to move, bound by tendrils of darkness. “These are the constraints of Nyx,” she identified the dark bonds that held her motionless, “not Nemesis.”
“It is what I have to work with in this place,” a harsh voice informed her. Iris could not turn her head, but was able to look to her right where she saw another woman. She appeared to be middle aged with very dark hair which had been braided and wrapped around her had like a crown. She was wearing a deep blue chiton that covered all but her face and arms, and her pure angelic white wings that sprang from her back. In one hand she held a rod and in the other a set of scales. “Be careful with what you invoke, Arke. You have not yet proven your case.”
“Then let the trial begin,” Arke replied.
“Yeah, sure, that should be fair,” Ratatosk commented. “And what charges do you level on the rest of us?”
“It is NOT fair!” Anuenue almost shouted. “If this is a trial, the accused must be free to present her case,” and without waiting for anyone else to react, she summoned the brightest rainbow she could and illuminated the cavern in which they all stood.
The cavern was large and its walls filled with images that must have been painted in complete darkness over the ages starting with paintings that had been created from the Paleolithic Age leading up into the Renaissance and even later pieces here and there. Perhaps they were only there for Nyx to enjoy, but it was evident the goddess of Night had a most extensive collection.
Anuenue’s rainbow worked quickly, dissolving the bonds that held Iris, but even a divinely created rainbow could not last long in the cavern of Nyx. As its glow faded, they all saw Nyx herself held motionless just as Iris had been a moment earlier and they saw others around the cavern as well. Hermes was asleep against one of the far walls along with several others, who Iris assumed were various rainbow gods and goddesses, although the only one she recognized was Lugh who must have been captured when he tried to leave Perun’s domain.
Iris also recognized Hypnos, the god of sleep. The man looked frightened although here in the cavern of Nyx he should have been at his most powerful. What scared him so? Did Arke have some sort of hold on him? Iris turned to look at her sister. Arke still resembled Iris most closely, but without wings and her skin was almost pure white. She had always been fairer than Iris, part of being the pale secondary rainbow, but now it seemed she had not seen the light of day in a very long time. However, she was now wearing the Hat of Hermes and his winged sandals. Those two artifacts would more than make up for her loss of wings.
“I don’t understand,” Miu admitted. “What sort of trial is this?”
“Arke has demanded revenge against all the gods of Olympus,” Nemesis explained. “It is my job to measure and weigh her case and, if it is just, to deal out the appropriate punishments.”
“Is this about the Titanomachy?” Miu asked. “That was over many cycles before I was born and the titans lost. What sort of justice could she possibly have coming to her?”
“That is what I am here to see, child,” Nemesis told her. “For now, Iris is on trial and you might be called as a witness.”
“On trial for what?” Miu asked.
“I am still waiting to hear the charges myself,” Nemesis admitted. “However, I do believe this foreigner,” she indicated Anuenue, “is correct that Iris should not be bound during her trial unless she refuses to respect my court.”
“Nemesis,” Iris told her, “I do respect your court, and have counter claims against my sister.”
“Interesting,” Nemesis murmured, “but not unexpected. Very well, Arke, state your charges.”
“I was betrayed by my sister,” Arke stated. “My oh-so-loving sister with whom I grew up and shared every confidence. But when the war began, she sided with the rebels who betrayed their own father and rightful king.”
“Yo!” Ratatosk laughed. “Are we talking about the same ‘Rightful king’ who ate his children when they were born?”
“What Cronus did was out of necessity,” Arke maintained, “but he was betrayed by his own wife who saved their youngest son and allowed him to grow up and usurp the crown from his father. This is why I have enlisted the aid of Hypnos to reawaken Cronus so that he may free the titans and once more rule the world.”
“Ancient history and one I think we all have heard before,” Nemesis replied, “although I will admit that your case is not entirely without merit. And you Iris? Is your claim against Arke based on events that took place back in the early cycles?”
“Not at all, Nemesis,” Iris replied, “although I would and will defend my fellow Olympians should they be on trial here.”
“They are not on trial just yet,” Nemesis replied. “Just you.”
“Very well,” Iris nodded. “My claim is more immediate. Recently, when I was going about my business, I was kidnapped by Arke and imprisoned in a machine that uses the rainbow. The mortals call it a mass spectrometer and I was unable to escape my imprisonment until my friends Anuenue and Aphrodite released me.”
“What am I?” Ratatosk demanded. “Chopped liver?”
“Let me try you on a cracker and we’ll find out,” Miu chuckled.
“Yes,” Iris admitted, “Ratatosk was also instrumental in my release. I dare say we might not have gotten away had it not been for him.”
“Ah, so you were involved in thwarting me then too?” Arke asked archly.
“Sure was, babe!” Ratatosk told her. “If you want to make a claim against me, though, you’ll have to have a chat with the Norns. I’m not sure they’ll be as impartial as your judge here.”
“I am not her judge, Ratatosk of Yggdrasil,” Nemesis replied, “save in the case of claims made against her in my court. How do you know it was her, Iris?”
“I saw her from inside the machine,” Iris replied, “and I heard her laughter. I grew up listening to her laugh.”
“Hah!” Arke was scornful. “Your claim is a personal one. Mine is on behalf of King Cronus and all the titans. Mine is the greater claim.”
“In this court,” Nemesis told her, “we rule on the justice of a claim. not its magnitude.”
“Let’s discuss Arke’s claim first then,” Iris suggested. “As Ratatosk pointed out, Cronus was sentenced for his crimes which were despicable in any culture. One might say he acted out of necessity, but this is not the Court of Necessity nor is it presided over by the Moirae. Cronus had only the word of Uranus and Gaea that he would be replaced by his own child just as he too usurped the throne of Heaven from his father. Those who supported Cronus were party to his crimes and their sentences a matter of justice.
“I would also argue,” Iris went on, “that Hermes has an claim equal to mine against Arke for her interference and capture of him while he was on Jove’s business and then she stole his hat and sandals which were never rightfully hers. Whereas I have never attacked my sister, not even during the Titanomachy, and yet she attacked me and stole my phial of Styx water.”
“A good point,” Nemesis nodded.
“Hermes is a servant of Zeus and therefore my justifiable enemy,” Arke countered. “As wartime enemies, neither Iris nor Hermes have a claim on me.”
“All is fair in Love and War, you say?” Nemesis remarked. “Perhaps, but you must know that I am called upon to judge far more often in times of war than when peace reigns. However, I shall consider that. If this is truly a matter of extended warfare that may, perhaps make a difference.”
“It is possible Arke attacked us because she does not recognize that the war is over,” Iris fired back. “Even if it were not, her grievance does not include Lugh or the other foreign deities she has kidnapped for their rainbow-related abilities.”
“So, herald,” Nemesis replied to Iris, “do you speak for them as well.”
“They have been rendered unable to speak for themselves,” Iris pointed out. “I am proud to represent them.”
“There are always unfortunate innocents caught up in a war,” Arke argued.
“That does not make their injuries justifiable, Arke,” Iris told her. “You have to understand that there are limits we all must respect; lines over which we must not cross.”
“Like betraying your rightful king?” Arke asked.
“Like supporting a filicide,” Iris replied.
“Or supporting a parricide,” Arke countered.
“Ah, but Zeus did not kill his parents,” Iris pointed out. “His mother Rhea supported Zeus and still lives and Cronus was sentenced to sleep forever here in the Cavern of Nyx which, I suppose is why we are all here and not somewhere else of your choosing. The fact of the matter, however, is that you were sentenced for your crimes as were the titans. I notice that Prometheus and Atlas refused to join you. They know how wrong you are and told you so, didn’t they?”
They continued to argue back and forth and slowly the whole story of how they had all ended up in Nyx’s cavern came out. Finally, Anuenue noticed they were repeating themselves as though caught in an endless loop. “Nemesis, I believe they have both made their cases. I know how I would rule, but I was not asked to judge.”
“You are correct,” Nemesis agreed. “I am ready to rule.” Iris and Arke, however took no notice and continued to argue back and forth until Nemesis held up her hand, the one carrying the scales of justice. Then they were suddenly silent and Anuenue noted that it had been Nemesis’ actions that had cast a spell that compelled them to silence. All watched as the scales of Nemesis swung up and down and then finally stopped, perfectly in balance. “I have ruled,” Nemesis spoke softly.
After a long moment, Miu broke the silence. “How did you rule?”
“The scales are balanced,” Ratatosk pointed out to her with uncustomary courtesy, “and so is her verdict. The claims of Iris and Arke balance out.”
“Wait a moment,” Anuenue requested. “I may be mistaken, but I think Hypnos has a claim to make against Arke.”
“God of Sleep,” Nemesis addressed him, “were you not a willing ally of Arke?”
“I,” Hypnos began worriedly. He looked at Arke who shot him a vicious smile and he turned sheet white. He swallowed hard and finally continued, “I was not, Nemesis. I assisted Arke under duress. She has taken my beloved Pasithea and is holding her hostage against my good behavior. I only did what I did to ensure her health.”
“You’ll never see her again now,” Arke told him.
“So you do make a claim against Arke?” Nemesis prompted. Arke started laughing in the nastiest possible manner. “Silence,” She told Arke, backing up her command with magic. “You may not tamper with the witness. That, too, will be weighed in the balance. Go on, Hypnos.”
“I just want my wife back,” Hypnos replied miserably.
“And yet you accuse Arke in spite of your fear for Pasithea,” Nemesis noted. “You shall have your wife and forthwith.” There was a small popping sound and a woman appeared, lying on the ground, still asleep. “Awaken your wife, Hypnos,” Nemesis instructed him. “I have ruled that the claims of Iris and Arke balance each other out and I stand by that judgement. This also applies to the case in which Hermes is involved. As for these others, who belong to other pantheons. They are allowed to choose their own courts should they desire to stake claims against Arke. Hypnos, please wake them up and, Miu, is it? I sense that you have no trouble seeing clearly in this cavern of night. Please assist them as they awaken and see that they have their belongings if any were taken from them. This includes the hat and sandals of Hermes and the phial of Styx water that is, by right, the property of Iris.”
“Wait,” Arke protested, “they are mine as spoils of war.”
“Your claims balance,” Nemesis repeated. “Therefore no property may change hands against the wishes of the owner. There is still the matter of the penalty for your crimes against Pasithea and of Hypnos who were both innocent in this affair.”
“I too have a claim,” Nyx spoke up.
“Against Arke?” Nemesis asked.
“No, against Anuenue of Oahu,” Nys replied. Anuenue wondered how Nys knew both her name and homeland and decided that the Night truly must see everything. “She brought the light of day into My domain, renderring me temporarily helpless. Outside of this cavern I would be merely annoyed, but in my own home, it is not to be tolerated.”
“That’s not fair,” Iris protested. “Anuenue is a foreigner and did not know where she was nor what your rules are.”
“Ignorance is not an excuse in My court,” Nemesis pointed out. “Nyx, of course, could choose leniency for this visitor.”
“Why should I?” Nyx demanded.
“What if I were to give Arke to you, Nyx,” Anuenue offered. “You have Cronus already, would this not be apropriate?”
“What?” Arke demanded. “You have no claim on me.”
“Not so,” Anuenue retorted. “Had it not been for your machinations and manipulations of my rainbow I would not have gotten stranded and lost on the branches of Yggdrasil, a part of the Universe in which I do not belong, and would not be here right now.”
“That you became confused and lost,” Nemisis considered, “might be a valid claim against Arke, but your actions from the time you encountered Jael the Demoness were your own freely made decisions. You cannot claim them against Arke.”
“And I do not,” Anuenue responded, “but that does not matter as I do not choose to claim against Arke.”
“Hah!” Arke laughed.
“Nor do I wish to defend myself against the claims made by Nyx, our hostess,” Anuenue went on. “I did, indeed, summon a rainbow into her sacred realm and home and while I meant no harm, I violated the spirit of Aloha in doing so. Nyx, I am very sorry and am at your mercy, but in recompense I offer to attempt to negotiate with Hypnos and Pasithea that they will allow you to have Arke. Their claim against her is, of course, stronger than anyone else’s here.”
“Why should I let her off that lightly?” Hypnos asked angrily. “After all she has done, an eternal dreamless sleep does not seem anywhere near enough of a price to pay.”
“Dearest,” Pasithea stopped him. “I was harmed far more deeply by Arke than you, but knowing she will never be able to do that again to anyone is enough for me. Put her to sleep and think about her no more.”
“Now wait just a moment,” Arke began to protest, “I refuse to rec…” and then she slumped to the floor, having been put to sleep by Hypnos.
“There,” Hypnos remarked. “I am so tired of her voice. Nyx, if you want her, she is yours.” He bowed to the primordial goddess.
“Wait,” Iris stopped them, picking up her phial of Styx water. “Nyx, my sister is yours to deal with, but, if you will, I would not wish to torture her with the memory of her failure today.”
“To remove her memory will only cause her to try all this once again, child,” Nyx replied.
“Not if I wipe her memories altogether,” Iris replied. “She will be a tabula rasa, a blank slate for you to write on as you see fit. Perhaps she can one day be a beneficial influence on the universe once more.”
“I accept,” Nyx replied.
Iris nodded and dipped her right forefinger into the phial, moistening it ever so slightly. Then she placed that finger on her sister’s forehead and murmured, “Forget.”
Nyx turned toward Anuenue and told her, “I forgive your transgression, young one. It was accidental and you impress me. You were ready to apologize for your mistake and willing to accept my punishment without any attempt to justify your actions. I find that remarkably mature in a deity of any age. You may feel welcome to visit me any time.” She smiled mysteriously and added, “and I will show you what a rainbow looks like at night.”
“This is quite some luau!” Anuenue noted enthusiastically, “although it does seem odd without poi and a roast pig.”
“We call it Thanksgiving,” Eddy Salem told her, “and traditionally we eat turkey. Actually, Ash tells me she wanted to try making poi but the local market was out of taro root. That surprised the heck out of me. I wouldn’t have thought any around here would carry it, never mind run out.”
“But Thanksgiving is a holiday in Hawaii too,” Eddy’s granddaughter, Amy, pointed out. “I’m surprised you haven’t encountered it before.”
“I definitely have not been associating with the right gods,” Anuenue smiled.
“You can remedy that tonight,” Eddy told her. “We’re going to have a couple hundred gods, goddesses and associated supernatural people in for the party. That’s why we have this big mead hall.” The mead hall, along with several casks of mead, had been a gift from the Norse thunder god, Thor. The mead itself had been consumed at the first party in the hall, but the hall itself, an oversized A-frame building, looked sturdy enough to last a century or two.
“I look forward to it,” Anuenue assured him.
“Hi, honey!” Jael shouted from the wide doors to the mead hall. “We’re home!” Anuenue, Eddy and Amy turned to see, not only Jael but Evrona, Tomislaw and a dozen of their classmates. “Okay kids find your bunks upstairs. Uh uh! Boys on the right, girls on the left. Heh,” she added to Eddy as he hugged her warmly, “You would think by now they might remember the rules.”
“I think they remember just fine,” Eddy laughed, “but you can’t blame them for trying. You must remember what it was to be their age.”
“Hah!” Jael laughed. “I was cross-dressing in an Italian university and damping down every feeling of sexual desire that surged through me. It’s a different world these days.”
“… and that’s a good thing,” Rona noted, manifesting in Jael’s place. “Hi, Eddy,” she added with a hug of her own. “Oh, here comes Tanise.”
“Did we wake you up?” Jael teased the dryad. “Oof!” she added as Tanise gave her a crushing hug.
“No, silly!” Tanise replied. “I was working with Ash in the kitchen when you all came in. Excuse me.” She let go and raced to greet her friends upstairs.
“I think I could use a bit of quiet time before the real crowd shows up,” Jael commented.
“Why don’t we go sit in the Solarium,” Eddy suggested. “I have a large thermos filled with coffee waiting.”
“Excellent!” Jael told him. “I don’t see Lizzie or Wade around, but I see their new studio.”
“They went into Boston this morning,” Eddy explained as they strolled into the main house. Anuenue followed along quietly. “Miu went with them, of course. Have you noticed how she has trouble keeping her eyes off of Wade?”
“Hah! No kidding!” Jael laughed. “I know Miu thinks she’s being subtle, but the only one who hasn’t noticed is Wade himself.”
“Oh, he has noticed,” Eddy told her. “She practically wrapped herself around him when she got back. Lizzie had a hard time keeping a straight face when she told the two of them to go get a room. Anyway, they’re picking up some supplies for their school which they plan to open next year. Actually, I did not expect them to get the building put up so soon, but Ninti helped out by getting a couple dozen men from the Celestial League to help out. The big windows just went in the other day though.”
“I like it,” Jael commented. “Open plan with views in every direction. They have the whole first floor as the dance studio?”
“Yes,” Eddy nodded, “There are changing rooms on the second floor, but most of the room up there is living space. Half for Wade and half for Lizzie.”
They arrived to find Iris talking earnestly with Dee, “Well, a couple of our colleagues were in bad shape, having been forced to sleep for so long. I guess Arke had been up to her tricks for nearly two years, but we got them all home and into the hands of their local healers. I’m surprised, though that no one seemed to notice some of them were missing.”
“It’s a strange cycle, dear,” Dee told Iris. “So many of us are out trying new things and finding new places for ourselves. So few are sticking to their old territories.”
“I know,” Iris nodded. “That’s what I was trying to do when I left Olympus. I wanted a place in the modern Mortal World. I’m afraid I just don’t fit in though.”
“Nonsense,” Jael told her. “You can do it. The real trick is using your strengths in a modern context. Have you considered starting a courier service?”
“I did,” Iris confirmed, “but the mortals already have such services… a lot of them delivering messages, parcels, flowers… Hermes tells me he had nothing to do with that last one. Then there’s telephone, television, radio, the Internet. They have come up with so many ways to communicate on their own, no mere goddess can do much to improve on what they have.”
“If you ask me,” Dee told her, “and you have, I’d say we need those same services on the Divine Plain. Those of us associated with Enki’s Springtime Seed Company all have smartphones that will work anywhere in the Mortal World, but not on the Divine Plain.”
“Except in the vicinity of Tanise’s Tree,” Eddy added. At Wade’s suggestion I called up Ninti and she arranged to have a… a repeater, I think she called it… installed so the phones will work out in the back yard even though it’s an entirely different universe.”
“We can’t use that technology anywhere else, though,” Dee pointed out. “It’s only because your house is a bridge between the two universes. In the old Divine Plain we’ll be needing something different. Iris, think about what you and Anuenue have been through. Every step of the way was just that; a step. We don’t have telephones or e-mail on the Divine Plain because Mortal services do not extend there.”
“Even if the mortals could reach the Divine Plain,” Jael pointed out, “Their devices wouldn’t work there without divine guidance. Oh, yeah!”
“What?” Iris asked.
“Iris,” Anuenue told her, “just imagine how much easier our searching would have been if we had some of the modern mortal conveniences to work with.”
“True,” Iris nodded, “but it would require the cooperation of messenger deities in every pantheon that wanted to be involved. Some pantheons don’t have messengers, though.”
“The duty could be delegated to a deity in some related field,” Jael pointed out, “and you should check out the system being used on the Japanese Divine Plain. They actually do have cell phone and Internet services working there in many areas. Talk to Miu about that when she gets back tonight. She’s a messenger for Inari Okami who might like better communications between the pantheons and will know who you should talk to there.”
“Count me in!” Anuenue told Iris enthusiastically, “I think this will be both rewarding and fun. I find I like traveling to foreign lands and there will be a lot of that, won’t there?”
“There will,” Iris replied with a smile. “Now how to get started… I think…”
She was interrupted by the simultaneous ringing of three cell phones; Dee’s, Eddy’s and Jael’s. “Hello?” all three answered at once. Iris and Anuenue watched with concern as all three of their friends became deadly serious.
“Wait!” Jael said at last. “Slow down, girl! Let one of us put you on speaker, please.” She pushed a few buttons while explaining to Iris and Anuenue, “It’s Ninti in South Carolina. Something’s happened, but she’s frantic and trying to say it all at once. I suspect she called her entire phone list at once. Never seen her like this, though. Okay, Ninti, go ahead, but try to keep calm.”
“It’s Enki!” Ninti showed no signs of calming down, “He’s injured and out of his mind.”
“You just noticed?” Jael chuckled.
“Jael!” both Ninti and Rona screamed at her.
“Sorry,” Jael apologized instantly. “Force of habit,” but Rona took over their shared body and asked, “He’s hurt?”
“Oriel is on the way,” Ninti told them. There were tears in her voice. “She should be here in a few minutes, I hope. It’s bad. Really bad.”
“What happened?” Dee demanded.
“I don’t know yet,” Ninti admitted. “He just stumbled into the Springtime Seed offices all beaten and bloodied and collapsed in the lobby. Oh, there’s Oriel now! Hold on.” They heard Ninti rushing away from her desk. “I got him on to the couch,” they heard Ninti say. Oriel asked another question, but both voices faded as they moved out of range.
“Sounds serious,” they heard Ina comment over the phone. “I think we need to get down there right away.”
“Let’s see if they want us first,” Jael suggested after forcing her way back into control of her own mouth. They did not have long to wait.
Ninti returned to the phone, “Oriel is working on him, but she says he’s in really bad shape – all sorts of broken bones and internal bleeding. She’s trying to stabilize his condition so that we can move him to somewhere conducive to healing on the Divine Plain. Can you help?”
Dee replied first, “We’ll all be right there, dear.”
“Road trip!” Jael added.
… to be continued in The Care and Feeding of Your Elder God